Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious - are more LDS women still getting married young, but waiting several years to have kids so that they can get their careers established first? I know one LDS woman like this; she even showed off her implanted birth control in her arm.

Surprisingly, the LDS has no ban or moral issues with birth control as say, the Catholic Church does. But they are taught that having children is essential to God's plan and as such, they do tend to have children younger- but that might have to do with the fact they marry younger? Like if the average couple, both LDS and non-LDS waits 3 years after marriage to have kids...that means the average LDS couple would have kids at 26 since they, on average, get married at 23, whereas the average non-LDS couple gets married at 28 or whatever so they have their kid at 31. if that makes sense?

You are wrong. Go read the history of b.c. in the Mormon church in wiki.

You don't need to go to Wikipedia, just go straight to the source. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/birth-control?lang=eng

"The decision of how many children to have and when to have them is a private matter for the husband and wife."
Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife.

Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children.

Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious - are more LDS women still getting married young, but waiting several years to have kids so that they can get their careers established first? I know one LDS woman like this; she even showed off her implanted birth control in her arm.

Surprisingly, the LDS has no ban or moral issues with birth control as say, the Catholic Church does. But they are taught that having children is essential to God's plan and as such, they do tend to have children younger- but that might have to do with the fact they marry younger? Like if the average couple, both LDS and non-LDS waits 3 years after marriage to have kids...that means the average LDS couple would have kids at 26 since they, on average, get married at 23, whereas the average non-LDS couple gets married at 28 or whatever so they have their kid at 31. if that makes sense?

You are wrong. Go read the history of b.c. in the Mormon church in wiki.

Anonymous wrote:Curious - are more LDS women still getting married young, but waiting several years to have kids so that they can get their careers established first? I know one LDS woman like this; she even showed off her implanted birth control in her arm.

Birth control is not sanctioned by the Mormon church. See Spencer Kimball’s 2003 statement. Deseret Insurance won’t pay for b.c. your friends duty as a Mormon wife is to give bodies to spirit babies. Look up Mormon Church Birth Control in wiki.

Anonymous wrote:Curious - are more LDS women still getting married young, but waiting several years to have kids so that they can get their careers established first? I know one LDS woman like this; she even showed off her implanted birth control in her arm.

Surprisingly, the LDS has no ban or moral issues with birth control as say, the Catholic Church does. But they are taught that having children is essential to God's plan and as such, they do tend to have children younger- but that might have to do with the fact they marry younger? Like if the average couple, both LDS and non-LDS waits 3 years after marriage to have kids...that means the average LDS couple would have kids at 26 since they, on average, get married at 23, whereas the average non-LDS couple gets married at 28 or whatever so they have their kid at 31. if that makes sense?

Curious - are more LDS women still getting married young, but waiting several years to have kids so that they can get their careers established first? I know one LDS woman like this; she even showed off her implanted birth control in her arm.

Anonymous wrote:I posted upthread that I attended BYU and loved it and even though I left the church, I have mostly very positive memories. I graduated debt free and launched into a solid career (currently making mid-six figures in my thirties).

I don't like that people on this board are perpetuating the idea that kids go to BYU just to get married. That may have been the case thirty plus years ago, and I'm sure there is still some of that now, but BYU is academically rigorous and selective, and there are plenty of solid job opportunities available for serious students. The law school is now ranked 23rd by USNW, and there are top big law positions available nationwide for the top 25% of the class. I actually felt like I had an advantage interviewing as a woman because a lot of the alumni interviewers are trying to promote LDS women.

That said, personally, I think it would be socially challenging to be a nonmember as an undergrad just because so many things revolve around church sponsored activities. If your kid is involved in other activities, like a sport, music, clubs, whatever, they might be fine. University of Utah is also a great school and affordable even for nonresidents.

both can be true. I graduated from byu three years ago, and it is definitely sstill the case that marriage is a huge part of the culture at byu.

I posted upthread that I attended BYU and loved it and even though I left the church, I have mostly very positive memories. I graduated debt free and launched into a solid career (currently making mid-six figures in my thirties).

I don't like that people on this board are perpetuating the idea that kids go to BYU just to get married. That may have been the case thirty plus years ago, and I'm sure there is still some of that now, but BYU is academically rigorous and selective, and there are plenty of solid job opportunities available for serious students. The law school is now ranked 23rd by USNW, and there are top big law positions available nationwide for the top 25% of the class. I actually felt like I had an advantage interviewing as a woman because a lot of the alumni interviewers are trying to promote LDS women.

That said, personally, I think it would be socially challenging to be a nonmember as an undergrad just because so many things revolve around church sponsored activities. If your kid is involved in other activities, like a sport, music, clubs, whatever, they might be fine. University of Utah is also a great school and affordable even for nonresidents.

Anonymous wrote:Funny how a question with a simple "yes" or "no" answer generates six pages of replies.

I mean, this is a DISCUSSION board. If op didn't want discussion, and simply yes or no answers, she should have/could have just Googled because that information is readily available on the byu website.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a troll! We’re a somewhat conservative family and I don’t think strict social rules would be a huge problem for DS. But I wouldn’t want him to be an outcast.

I'm an ex-mo who went to BYU. The honor code (aka social rules) is one thing, but it's so much more than just the honor code. Social life really does revolve around religion and your ward (aka church). Also, almost everyone at BYU is looking to get married quickly, and co-ed socializing generally has the underlying purpose of finding a spouse, so some people might not even associate with your son because he's not mormon and therefore unmarriable in their eyes. Heck, my husband was Mormon, but because he didn't go on a mission he was avoided by a large contingent of girls at BYU. The culture there is extremely niche, there will be great pressure to join the church. A non-member would feel really freaking out of place there, I think.

I would never do it. There are many other conservative/conservative-leaning colleges he could go to.

Non-Mormon. It's not all one big ward - right? Curious how they form wards there? Do parents of BYU kids try to get their kids into "good" wards like a sorority?

DP here. Wards are just based on where you live. A ward has about 200 people in it so that’s maybe two apartment complexes? Your question about what the parents want is an odd one to me. From my experience, parents are pretty hands-off. They might want their kid to live in a nice apartment and those apartments and so their kids will naturally go to a ward with higher SES students, but part of this weird ethos of the church is going to church with whoever your neighbors happen to be rather than people you pick. I can’t imagine a parent trying to maneuver their kid into a more desirable ward since a) Mormon parents are rarely of the helicopter variety b) you might prefer to find “your people” but generally one ward isn’t considered more desirable and c) living on meager means is kind of glorified in the church so even parents who are well off might want their kid to live in a cheaper apartment and go to church with people who are less well-off.

I'm not Mormon but one of my parents grew up in a Mormon family where all the kids went to BYU so I'm familiar with the culture and all your points are 100 percent spot on.

Agree that Mormon families rarely helicopter, especially since many have big families and younger kids at home to worry about, plus sending your kids away on their mission at a young age is part of the culture.

Also agree with the whole "living on meager means is glorified" thing. Even wealthy Mormons, for example, are taught the importance of things like shopping the sales, stocking up on food, doing things themselves, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Funny how a question with a simple "yes" or "no" answer generates six pages of replies.

Yes they accept non Mormons. Those of us with longer replies want to caution against it though.

Anonymous wrote:Why would any non-Mormon want to go to BYU? Bad idea.

Because its a good school in a lovely place.

Funny how a question with a simple "yes" or "no" answer generates six pages of replies.

I hope this is a troll. There is no way a non Mormon should go to school at BYU. Let me put this clearly as someone who has two relatives currently attending BYU: kids go there to find their "eternal companions." Everything centers around that. There is even a heirarchy among active LDS ... Boys who are return missionaries from foreign countries are the most desirable. Your child would be a social outcast. Even if he/she converted while there, they would be on the bottom rungs of the ladder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would any non-Mormon want to go to BYU? Bad idea.

It is cheap for anyone to go to, even cheaper for Mormons. Some students have absolutely no interest in drinking and want a lot of peace and quiet.

There is SO much more to BYU/Mormonism than just no alcohol and no loud parties. OMG.

I’m aware.

then you should realize that going to BYU just for the cheap tuition and/or because you don't like to party or drink is a bad, bad idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would any non-Mormon want to go to BYU? Bad idea.

It is cheap for anyone to go to, even cheaper for Mormons. Some students have absolutely no interest in drinking and want a lot of peace and quiet.

There is SO much more to BYU/Mormonism than just no alcohol and no loud parties. OMG.

I’m aware.