Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

So if an obese person feels like having a cocktail, you read it as an F-U to thinner people? How weird and self-centered (I.e. couldn’t they be having a drink for the same reason as everyone else, and posting the photo for the same reason also?)

You sound scary!

They dress in revealing clothing and are indulging in desserts and syrupy themed cocktails and shots and have themed parties. Like Game of Throne party with basic appetizers with a label on it calling it by a themed name. They wear coordinated clothing and have parties for all sorts of events. Very food focused. Hedonistic. Fancy themselves as clever and fun-loving and devil may care.

Where are these women? They sound like fun!!

I would definitely go to one of their parties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

So if an obese person feels like having a cocktail, you read it as an F-U to thinner people? How weird and self-centered (I.e. couldn’t they be having a drink for the same reason as everyone else, and posting the photo for the same reason also?)

You sound scary!

They dress in revealing clothing and are indulging in desserts and syrupy themed cocktails and shots and have themed parties. Like Game of Throne party with basic appetizers with a label on it calling it by a themed name. They wear coordinated clothing and have parties for all sorts of events. Very food focused. Hedonistic. Fancy themselves as clever and fun-loving and devil may care.

Where are these women? They sound like fun!!

No, I've been called pretty but never feel it. I don't look down on ANY women, unless they treat me like garbage - then I just ignore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

So if an obese person feels like having a cocktail, you read it as an F-U to thinner people? How weird and self-centered (I.e. couldn’t they be having a drink for the same reason as everyone else, and posting the photo for the same reason also?)

You sound scary!

They dress in revealing clothing and are indulging in desserts and syrupy themed cocktails and shots and have themed parties. Like Game of Throne party with basic appetizers with a label on it calling it by a themed name. They wear coordinated clothing and have parties for all sorts of events. Very food focused. Hedonistic. Fancy themselves as clever and fun-loving and devil may care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never, ever judge someone for acne or their complexion. People who have never experienced it have no idea. If it was some simple fix, there wouldn’t be a billion dollar industry of products to combat it.

Exactly. And such a weird call out in this post.

It’s funny bc I have really imperfect skin but literally EVERYONE everyone tells me they don’t believe me bc I am super good at make up. I don’t have like tons of acne but I def get some serious zits now and then.

I really don’t notice people’s skin imperfections unless they are severe and then I just feel bad for them (bc I know how it can feel). People with naturally super perfect skin though I do notice bc DAMNNNN they got lucky. And that’s all it is - pure luck.

I think unless your skin is really rough - with some decent make up skills - skin can be made to be clear and even enough that it’s not a huge deal breaker. I honestly think most women do look better with some face make-up, including some blush/color, so covering a blemish here and there doesn’t change all that much.

Those of us who have perfect skin can tell of others who do not by how much makeup is applied. The benefit of great skin is you do not need a lot of makeup. Anytime I see someone with makeup I think they are hiding skin flaws. Best thing to do is see a dermatologist as soon as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

So if an obese person feels like having a cocktail, you read it as an F-U to thinner people? How weird and self-centered (I.e. couldn’t they be having a drink for the same reason as everyone else, and posting the photo for the same reason also?)

You sound scary!

They dress in revealing clothing and are indulging in desserts and syrupy themed cocktails and shots and have themed parties. Like Game of Throne party with basic appetizers with a label on it calling it by a themed name. They wear coordinated clothing and have parties for all sorts of events. Very food focused. Hedonistic. Fancy themselves as clever and fun-loving and devil may care.

Sounds like people I’d like to party with!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

So if an obese person feels like having a cocktail, you read it as an F-U to thinner people? How weird and self-centered (I.e. couldn’t they be having a drink for the same reason as everyone else, and posting the photo for the same reason also?)

You sound scary!

They dress in revealing clothing and are indulging in desserts and syrupy themed cocktails and shots and have themed parties. Like Game of Throne party with basic appetizers with a label on it calling it by a themed name. They wear coordinated clothing and have parties for all sorts of events. Very food focused. Hedonistic. Fancy themselves as clever and fun-loving and devil may care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

So if an obese person feels like having a cocktail, you read it as an F-U to thinner people? How weird and self-centered (I.e. couldn’t they be having a drink for the same reason as everyone else, and posting the photo for the same reason also?)

You sound scary!

Anonymous wrote:I do judge weight. Sorry, but I do. There is normal variation, but if you have a lot of extra weight, I see that as a flaw- both in your eating habits and lifestyle.

I don’t judge complexion bc that isn’t controllable often times and can take a very long time and expensive treatments to sort out.

I don’t judge bad dye jobs either. Sometimes it happens even with the best intentions and also isn’t always quick or cheap to fix.

I do judge is you look like a totally frump/sloppy or smell. I assume you are either lazy or depressed.

So you “judge “ people for having a mental illness. Got it.

You had better watch karma.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

What on earth? If an averaged-sized person posts a video of themselves enjoying a cocktail it’s nothing but if a fat person does it they are ugly on the inside?

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

I wouldn’t say I am bothered by women who don’t care. I just admit to silently pass judgment, much look I do if a friend has a messy house. I am far from consumed by looks, but I do take some pride in my appearance. I have plenty of other hobbies and interests just like you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

I am the previous poster and I hear what you are saying. I don’t care for people who judge me for anything so I see that it goes both ways. For what it’s worth I don’t have time for those people in my life. Since I lost my husband so young, my life perspective has of course changed and you need to stop caring about your awful sister in law or whoever. You don’t have emotional energy for them, and they only bring negativity. You do you and f$&k anyone who judges you.

I have pcos and I’m not surprised the condition has been mentioned a few times on this thread. Apparently in some cultures pcos was referred to as “the thief of beauty”.

I was a naturally slim, clear-complexioned, shiny haired teen and college student. Only symptom was irregular periods and some easily controlled excess hair. I felt gorgeous and judged my heavier older female relatives (both sides of the family have pcos and men have met b).

The cascade of symptoms (and accompanying terrible medical advice) started at 25. I am now 41 and the decades of undiagnosed insulin resistance have compounded. (Didn’t help that I spent the first twenty years of my life eating low-fat vegetarian and walking instead of weight training since I thought it was healthy). Now I have both frontal and overall hair loss (yes, hypothyroid often comes with pcos). Permanent ice pick scars from cystic acne. About fifty pounds overweight and frankly grateful exercise keeps it from being 80). Skin tags, dark patches of skin and the dreaded hydrasentis suppurativa (don’t look it up).

I was lucky enough to carry two children thanks to painstaking tracking and cgm monitoring. But it took a decade with multiple miscarriages and I couldn’t breastfeed due to androgen in changes to breasts. But the fatigue and feelings of being judged by thin, well off women are toughest. And knowing my daughter likely will deal with the same cluster. Luckily we know so much more now.

I do make efforts to look better. But it’s an uphill battle. Sometimes I wish I could show attractive women a photo of me at 20 so I could be part of the club again. One wonderful point: I truly don’t judge now. And I have very beautiful friends who I know are beautiful inside and out.

Anonymous wrote:What exactly bothers you about women who “don’t care”? Why does it irk you that their priorities lie elsewhere or perhaps they and even their husband think they beautiful without fancy clothes or makeup or stylish haircuts? I was exceedingly happy with my husband and life and we camped and traveled went to music festivals and laughed and danced and were in love. It was amazing and I felt incredible without being skinny and well dressed and focused on my looks. Sadly he passed away, but it was wonderful. I don’t think everyone has the same priorities as you, and it isn’t about not caring or being a “slob.”

DP. For me, it doesn't bother me if the person doesn't care or doesn't prioritize their looks. They may prioritize something else and it's fine. Time and money are limited and I get that. The ones that put me off are the ones who look down on those who do prioritize their looks. A family member once criticized me for wearing heels and another time she criticized me for wearing a dress (a casual summer dress on a hot day). Her hair is shaved on one side and she ties back the rest in a pony tail. It's so ugly but I wouldn't care except that she always cares what I wear. For the obese people (not a little overweight, but like 350 lb woman, 450 lb man), I don't care either except when they post pictures of themselves eating dessert, drinking cocktails, and generally parading themselves around like a "F U" to normal sized people. They are not beautiful on the inside. If they were beautiful on the inside, I probably wouldn't even notice their outward appearance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No - and I’m never unkind to anyone because of how they look.

but I don’t like people who do not know me but scowl and are unfriendly to me after giving me the once over.

To clarify - I have been told many times I am considered beautiful but I never assume everyone finds me beautiful. I like how I look but I don’t go around looking at people and judging them by their looks or comparing their looks against mine. I am secure.

I dont’ think anyone is ugly based on appearance, only on behavior. And there are a lot of physically attractive people who are ugly and a lot of plainer-looking folks who are beautiful

I think this way, and it's definitely true. First off, I look typically Nordic/German which is certainly not in vogue at the moment. Second, not everyone finds (fill in the blank actress/model) beautiful, people argue about that all the time.