Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are a free loader. Your husband is apparently fine with this, but he’s also apparently fine supporting his parents too. You can’t really complain since you are doing the exact same thing they are.

Troll is back.

Not a troll. She has no job and no children with this man, or any children in the home. She is his second wife. How can she complain that her parents want to live rent free in his house?

Literally nothing on your list is a requirement to be met to not be lied to by your spouse.

When did he lie?

He told her the agreement was they were purchasing the house and the in laws were vacating the house.

What if that was the agreement and then the in-laws health/situation changed? You make it like it was some sinister plot to deceive OP. There is absolutely no proof of that.

If the situation changed then it needed to be discussed with OP, the DH doesn’t get to decide he’s moving back in with mommy and daddy and expect a grown woman to just go along with it. It doesn’t have to be “a sinister plot” the facts are clear that he lied, and again, not being lied to has nothing to do with whether you work outside the home.

Women don't like this answer, but when they have no assets or income source of their own, they lose most of their leverage in financial and life decisions. Their house is sold, he can say they are moving in with the parents. She can threaten to leave, or actually do it, but other than that she really can't do anything else. Doubt she wants to support herself after 10 years. She can pitch a fit to him, and he may give in or he may not. We have no way to know.

Anonymous wrote:All the various 'understandings' should have been memorialized in writing and signed by all parties. IL's living rent free, without homeowner obligations. Not a bad racket!

But the OP wrote: "OP here, the house was valued around 750, but needs about 200K in repairs. We paid 450." Seems like OP and her DH got quite the steal - because any legit house value would have taken into consideration the $200K in repairs needed. Or even if that is the after-renovation value, OP and DH underpaid by $100K. So maybe DH made a deal with his parents that they could live there ... $100K in rent will buy them some years.

All the various 'understandings' should have been memorialized in writing and signed by all parties. IL's living rent free, without homeowner obligations. Not a bad racket!

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

No, my name is not on the mortgage but it is on the title. DH and I have always had separate finances. He pays for everything and I don’t pay for any bills. I have a small, side job that pays for any of my personal things but otherwise DH handles and pays for everything on our joint credit card.

OP here, the house was valued around 750, but needs about 200K in repairs. We paid 450.

We don’t have any children together, I have an 18 year old in college. This is both our second marriage. We’ve been together for 10 years and our in our 40’s.

I'll be a little less harsh because it seems obvious that you have massive communications issues with your husband, and also that there's not a lot of equality in this marriage.

OP, I'd urge you to figure out what you want, like truly want, and figure out how to communicate that to your husband. I agree with the other posters that living in your IL's house with all their furniture and "stuff" is a no go. At the very least there needs to be an adjustment, and maybe that adjustment will encourage them to move out - as in - over the next couple of months they need to downsize to a guest room and maybe one other room, you get to paint, put in new carpet, etc. If everyone balks at that, then start looking at your options.

I'd speak with a lawyer about your status as an owner of the house, and how that plays out in the event of a divorce. I think you need a FT job for a couple of reasons - to support yourself and to start insulating against becoming the full-time caregiver for your in-laws, because this is what sounds like is happening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are a free loader. Your husband is apparently fine with this, but he’s also apparently fine supporting his parents too. You can’t really complain since you are doing the exact same thing they are.

Troll is back.

Not a troll. She has no job and no children with this man, or any children in the home. She is his second wife. How can she complain that her parents want to live rent free in his house?

Literally nothing on your list is a requirement to be met to not be lied to by your spouse.

When did he lie?

He told her the agreement was they were purchasing the house and the in laws were vacating the house.

What if that was the agreement and then the in-laws health/situation changed? You make it like it was some sinister plot to deceive OP. There is absolutely no proof of that.

If the situation changed then it needed to be discussed with OP, the DH doesn’t get to decide he’s moving back in with mommy and daddy and expect a grown woman to just go along with it. It doesn’t have to be “a sinister plot” the facts are clear that he lied, and again, not being lied to has nothing to do with whether you work outside the home.

A couple of practical things: if you/DH have a mortgage, then there’s no way DH wouldn’t have known about the previous refis and what the payoff amounts are. You also would have gotten a title report / policy.

Also - you mention that purchase price was far less than value price because of repairs needed. The value should have already taken into consideration the need for repairs. Did your ILs gift you the rest by reducing the purchase price? Or perhaps a rent back situation was always part of the deal? The facts and numbers literally don’t add up here, OP.

OP, you haven’t mentioned - have you talked to your DH about this? What have your conversations been like? Has he been at all sympathetic to your point of view? Have you discussed/proposed alternatives like finding them a more suitable, accessible home nearby, etc.? You haven’t mentioned any of this in your posts so it sounds like you have been extremely passive through this entire process?

What are YOU considering? What have YOU tried in terms of communicating your concerns to your DH?

Anonymous wrote:OP wouldn't be singing this tune if it were her parents living there. Selfish wife, bad life.

Impressive how wrong you can be in only two sentences.

Do you have any of your own money?

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

No, my name is not on the mortgage but it is on the title. DH and I have always had separate finances. He pays for everything and I don’t pay for any bills. I have a small, side job that pays for any of my personal things but otherwise DH handles and pays for everything on our joint credit card.

OP here, the house was valued around 750, but needs about 200K in repairs. We paid 450.

We don’t have any children together, I have an 18 year old in college. This is both our second marriage. We’ve been together for 10 years and our in our 40’s.

Bail.

How old are your in-laws?

If your name is on the title but not the mortgage…sell,

I have a feeling that your DH didn’t put your name on the deed, though.

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

No, my name is not on the mortgage but it is on the title. DH and I have always had separate finances. He pays for everything and I don’t pay for any bills. I have a small, side job that pays for any of my personal things but otherwise DH handles and pays for everything on our joint credit card.

OP here, the house was valued around 750, but needs about 200K in repairs. We paid 450.

We don’t have any children together, I have an 18 year old in college. This is both our second marriage. We’ve been together for 10 years and our in our 40’s.

Looks like your free ride just got a little too bumpy. Time to jump out and start making your own way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are a free loader. Your husband is apparently fine with this, but he’s also apparently fine supporting his parents too. You can’t really complain since you are doing the exact same thing they are.

Troll is back.

Not a troll. She has no job and no children with this man, or any children in the home. She is his second wife. How can she complain that her parents want to live rent free in his house?

Kids or a job don't matter. The agreement was the parents move out. They aren't. Tell husband you aren't moving in and get your own place.

OP why don't you call his bluff and force him to choose between you and his parents. Be prepared for an outcome you didn't think would happen though.