Mom of 4 here and former “visiting” child (weekends at my dad’s).

- The two boys get the larger room.
- the older kids each get one of the smaller rooms
- Having to share a bathroom with a sibling is a good thing, not a bad thing. Our kids (2 girls, 2 boys) all share bathrooms. The girls see teen boy smelly body wash, the boys see tampons and pads, everyone survives. My 15 yr old boy who most frequently shares a bathroom with me is totally unbothered by tampons and periods and comments about cramps because none of it has been hidden from him. It’s as “private” and exotic as a toothbrush.
- there is nothing reasonable about the three boys having to share a hall bath while the girl gets the largest bedroom and a private bathroom. Age not relevant with all the other factors at play.
- daughter may fuss but she will survive and at most she shares a bathroom half the time.

We are supposed to be downsizing, people. Footprint all that, y'know?

omg. The entitlement.

It’s not treating them as less than, it’s acknowledging differences in their housing arrangements that the parents chose to make. All 4 children are not treated equally. Two get to live with both parents in one house full time, one gets to live with one parent in one house full time (OP didn’t mention DD spending nights with her father), and one lives primarily with one parent and visits the other parent every other weekend and for a bit in the summer. Who knows? Maybe the stepson has a nicer arrangement in the primary house he lives in with his mom. When dividing space among 4 kids, it’s reasonable to consider the amount of time each child lives in the home.

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Anonymous wrote:So the older sibling no longer gets the biggest room? (I'd be pretty disappointed too)

12x12 is not small, the boys would be fine sharing it.

She moves to the basement in 3 or so years, when they'll be 7/8.

The oldest sibling gets the biggest room when everyone has their own room. If two kids share the get the bigger room. Let me guess, you were the oldest?

DP. Not when there’s a bathroom.

Why on earth not

Because it’s a different privilege, and the oldest should have it first. If the 4yo is the next one, he’ll be 7ish, and will receive it at an earlier age. If the 11 yo is next, the 4 yo will be 11ish when it’s his turn(just 1 year older than his sister is now).

This would be true if all the kids had their own room and you were assigning them each one room. Sure, then the oldest gets the biggest room. But 2 kids are SHARING a room. There is no reason to cram them into a smaller space when this 11 year old girl STILL GETS HER OWN ROOM ALONE.

They’re LITTLE KIDS and will still be 7- when the configuration changes. It’s absurd to give the ensuite bathroom to a baby and a preschooler when there’re older siblings.

Who cares if it's in the room or in the hallway? You would rather have a one child get her own bathroom and 3 children share than 2 kids share one bathroom and 2 share the other? Do see how unfair it is when you think of it in these terms? I also guarantee that if we were talking about four boys or 2 young girls + 2 older boys, your opinion would not be the same. GUARANTEE IT.

But it’s not 3 kids sharing a bathroom full-time. Two kids share all the time and 1 kid has her own. The fourth child visits, he doesn’t live there.

+1

Nope. As a separated parent, my home will always be my kids’ home, whether or not they sometimes spend some percentage of nights with their other parent. You don’t treat a child as less than because their parents are divorced.

Stepson takes basement bedroom. Daughter gets big bedroom upstairs w en-suite. Younger boys each have their own room upstairs.

The kids sharing a room get the bigger room. Sharing a bathroom w brothers is NBD. Growing up I (female) always shared a bathroom w my 2 brothers. when your daughter gets older if she still wants her own bathroom, she can move to the basement. Perfect. It won’t be long before the 2 kids sharing grow bigger and need more space so they should get the larger room.

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Anonymous wrote:So the older sibling no longer gets the biggest room? (I'd be pretty disappointed too)

12x12 is not small, the boys would be fine sharing it.

She moves to the basement in 3 or so years, when they'll be 7/8.

The oldest sibling gets the biggest room when everyone has their own room. If two kids share the get the bigger room. Let me guess, you were the oldest?

DP. Not when there’s a bathroom.

Why on earth not

Because it’s a different privilege, and the oldest should have it first. If the 4yo is the next one, he’ll be 7ish, and will receive it at an earlier age. If the 11 yo is next, the 4 yo will be 11ish when it’s his turn(just 1 year older than his sister is now).

This would be true if all the kids had their own room and you were assigning them each one room. Sure, then the oldest gets the biggest room. But 2 kids are SHARING a room. There is no reason to cram them into a smaller space when this 11 year old girl STILL GETS HER OWN ROOM ALONE.

They’re LITTLE KIDS and will still be 7- when the configuration changes. It’s absurd to give the ensuite bathroom to a baby and a preschooler when there’re older siblings.

Who cares if it's in the room or in the hallway? You would rather have a one child get her own bathroom and 3 children share than 2 kids share one bathroom and 2 share the other? Do see how unfair it is when you think of it in these terms? I also guarantee that if we were talking about four boys or 2 young girls + 2 older boys, your opinion would not be the same. GUARANTEE IT.

But it’s not 3 kids sharing a bathroom full-time. Two kids share all the time and 1 kid has her own. The fourth child visits, he doesn’t live there.

+1

The little boys get the big room.

Daughter and step son each get their OWN room. Because they are older. Because one is a boy and one is a girl (thank goodness your youngest isn't a girl!)

They won't be SHARING a bathroom, ever, now that they are older. They will be TAKING TURNS with a bathroom. Put a lock on it (up high so the 4 and 1 year olds can't lock themselves into the room) and be done with it. Teach respect. Tampons and pads will be stored in the bathroom drawers eventually, and that's a great thing so both boys and girls can get used to them.

I don't share a bathroom with my husband, I take turns.

And NO BOY should be peeing without lifting the lid, or leaving drips of pee everywhere - so yucky! Please teach your boys by 4 or 5 to be well mannered in the bathroom - their future friends, roommates, partners, and house guests will thank you.

PS: Our rule in our home is "all lids are down" when you leave the bathroom because kittens can drown in that little amount of water if they jump up and slip. They can't get out, so our house rule is lids down, all the time. And that solves the 'females fall in the toilet because males leave the lid up' which is a huge PITA. Don't be that boy/man.

And while we don't always have kittens in our house, we sometimes do, so the rule is the same for all times.