Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate all pandemic parenting days and sometimes I wonder why I had kids it’s that bad.

If you were parented with love and attention, you will bestow the same to your children. The WASP parenting is based on individualism and so parents want children to not take up their time. It shows up in the kinds of people they raise. Self-centered, individualistic, incapable of reciprocity, prone to depression and anxiety, incapable of being good parents.

You had kids because you had a checklist. It is not as if you are bonded to your kids or like them.

+1000
I'm a WASP and didn't realize how effed up my parents parenting was/is until I married into an Italian American family. Just completely different values and ways of being a family. It was eye opening and I'm grateful to learn a different way.

i'm Italian American but part of my family is more WASP-y. curious what you mean (though I have an idea)

+1

I'd actually like PP do do an AMA.

I'm PP. My parents are very uninvolved grandparents, they aren't the type to get on the floor with the kids or plan fun outings. Kids are to have a short conversation with during cocktail hour and that's it. They love them very much, just don't "understand" kids or really want to. My in-laws, on the other hand, are all about kids. Kids are the center of their lives. My husband spent a lot of time with his grandparents growing up and my in-laws spend a lot of time with their grandkids. They seem to genuinely enjoy their company. They also just understand how kids work. My mom has never changed a diaper, probably wouldn't even know how (she once texted me to come upstairs when my newborn pooped). If my kids are throwing a fit they shut down and just don't know how to deal, it breaks their brain.

Overall, my husband's family is generally just more family oriented, family is the most important thing to them. In contrast to how I grew up, which was polite distance to family. I remember being driven around once by my grandfather because my grandmother was busy (playing bridge lol) and he only talked to me about golf and the weather. We just aren't a close-knit family, and kids are more of an odd curiosity than a central part of an adult's day to day life.

I love my husband's family and am very glad to have seen another way to parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, sometimes weekends hit me hard. And I have a super easy, single child who sleeps/naps predictably and often have weekend babysitters for ~3h stretches. But 2yos suck sometimes and that's the age we're at.

Two year olds don’t suck, ever. Sure it can be exhausting to have little ones around…but a single 2 year old? Haha. I can’t think of anything cuter than a 2 year old.

That must be why they call it the Terrific Twos! Oh wait...

Anonymous wrote:Yep, sometimes weekends hit me hard. And I have a super easy, single child who sleeps/naps predictably and often have weekend babysitters for ~3h stretches. But 2yos suck sometimes and that's the age we're at.

Two year olds don’t suck, ever. Sure it can be exhausting to have little ones around…but a single 2 year old? Haha. I can’t think of anything cuter than a 2 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else feel this way? Not looking for answers, just solidarity. I have a 1 and a 5 year old and it’s just unrelenting. We don’t have any family to help and when grandparents come to visit they can’t handle even one kid solo for much more than an hour. We have a nanny during the week but she can barely handle both kids. We have had the same issue with babysitters. Facing down the messy house, laundry, meal planning, shopping, home maintenance, yard work, never ending house projects and piles of crap and art and kids toys and then realizing we get to launch into the work week again come Monday just makes me feel like I’m stuck in this never ending Ground Hog day.

np You have a nanny so you are really not used to taking care of your kids ( not a critism so of course weekends feel overwhelming. My suggestion is lower your standards. If you house is messy, than it is messy. Enjoy your kids while they are little. It will go by in a flash and your house can wait as well as all the chores! Make sure you get your hot coffee/shower and then pick one fun thing to do with kids. If you get one thing off your list..great but, try not to worry.

PS I know I misspelled a word but forgot to change it before I hit send.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else feel this way? Not looking for answers, just solidarity. I have a 1 and a 5 year old and it’s just unrelenting. We don’t have any family to help and when grandparents come to visit they can’t handle even one kid solo for much more than an hour. We have a nanny during the week but she can barely handle both kids. We have had the same issue with babysitters. Facing down the messy house, laundry, meal planning, shopping, home maintenance, yard work, never ending house projects and piles of crap and art and kids toys and then realizing we get to launch into the work week again come Monday just makes me feel like I’m stuck in this never ending Ground Hog day.

np You have a nanny so you are really not used to taking care of your kids ( not a critism so of course weekends feel overwhelming. My suggestion is lower your standards. If you house is messy, than it is messy. Enjoy your kids while they are little. It will go by in a flash and your house can wait as well as all the chores! Make sure you get your hot coffee/shower and then pick one fun thing to do with kids. If you get one thing off your list..great but, try not to worry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate all pandemic parenting days and sometimes I wonder why I had kids it’s that bad.

If you were parented with love and attention, you will bestow the same to your children. The WASP parenting is based on individualism and so parents want children to not take up their time. It shows up in the kinds of people they raise. Self-centered, individualistic, incapable of reciprocity, prone to depression and anxiety, incapable of being good parents.

You had kids because you had a checklist. It is not as if you are bonded to your kids or like them.

+1000
I'm a WASP and didn't realize how effed up my parents parenting was/is until I married into an Italian American family. Just completely different values and ways of being a family. It was eye opening and I'm grateful to learn a different way.

i'm Italian American but part of my family is more WASP-y. curious what you mean (though I have an idea)

+1

I'd actually like PP do do an AMA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate all pandemic parenting days and sometimes I wonder why I had kids it’s that bad.

If you were parented with love and attention, you will bestow the same to your children. The WASP parenting is based on individualism and so parents want children to not take up their time. It shows up in the kinds of people they raise. Self-centered, individualistic, incapable of reciprocity, prone to depression and anxiety, incapable of being good parents.

You had kids because you had a checklist. It is not as if you are bonded to your kids or like them.

+1000
I'm a WASP and didn't realize how effed up my parents parenting was/is until I married into an Italian American family. Just completely different values and ways of being a family. It was eye opening and I'm grateful to learn a different way.

i'm Italian American but part of my family is more WASP-y. curious what you mean (though I have an idea)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t “weekend parenting” just parenting?

This thread has me confused too. Pretty depressing.

No it’s not like weekday parenting because on the weekdays someone else is taking care of the kids for most of the day. On the weekend it’s just mom and dad and that’s why it sucks.

then you shouldn’t have had kids! Parenting is hard at times, bit to say it sucks every weekend because they’re your responsibility is just sad. My daughter is adopted and I hope she never feels they way some of your kids must feel.

You have one kid. She’s probably older. You don’t have the physical difficulties of nursing a toddler or weaning and have never dealt with pregnancy and postpartum and the physical impacts of pregnancy on your body twice. Your situation is not comparable.

NP. No one forced you to have two kids. Stop complaining and deal with your decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate all pandemic parenting days and sometimes I wonder why I had kids it’s that bad.

If you were parented with love and attention, you will bestow the same to your children. The WASP parenting is based on individualism and so parents want children to not take up their time. It shows up in the kinds of people they raise. Self-centered, individualistic, incapable of reciprocity, prone to depression and anxiety, incapable of being good parents.

You had kids because you had a checklist. It is not as if you are bonded to your kids or like them.

+1000
I'm a WASP and didn't realize how effed up my parents parenting was/is until I married into an Italian American family. Just completely different values and ways of being a family. It was eye opening and I'm grateful to learn a different way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

Op, is this you or someone pretending to be you?

I'm not the OP and was not pretending to be. I bolded my two posts.

This thread is unbelievable. You can’t “handle” your own children for 24 hours without help from a nanny? (Let alone actually enjoy them and have them enjoy you, which clearly is out of the question…)

Women have been bearing and raising children—almost always way more of them than the 1.4 kids you have—for millennia. Under much more difficult conditions. But we don’t understand the massive hardship of nursing, while also having a 5 year old?! GMAFB.

Half the population of earth does this. Billions of people. You’re not splitting the atom here.

Yep, sometimes weekends hit me hard. And I have a super easy, single child who sleeps/naps predictably and often have weekend babysitters for ~3h stretches. But 2yos suck sometimes and that's the age we're at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t “weekend parenting” just parenting?

This thread has me confused too. Pretty depressing.

No it’s not like weekday parenting because on the weekdays someone else is taking care of the kids for most of the day. On the weekend it’s just mom and dad and that’s why it sucks.

then you shouldn’t have had kids! Parenting is hard at times, bit to say it sucks every weekend because they’re your responsibility is just sad. My daughter is adopted and I hope she never feels they way some of your kids must feel.

You have one kid. She’s probably older. You don’t have the physical difficulties of nursing a toddler or weaning and have never dealt with pregnancy and postpartum and the physical impacts of pregnancy on your body twice. Your situation is not comparable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t “weekend parenting” just parenting?

This thread has me confused too. Pretty depressing.

No it’s not like weekday parenting because on the weekdays someone else is taking care of the kids for most of the day. On the weekend it’s just mom and dad and that’s why it sucks.

then you shouldn’t have had kids! Parenting is hard at times, bit to say it sucks every weekend because they’re your responsibility is just sad. My daughter is adopted and I hope she never feels they way some of your kids must feel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t “weekend parenting” just parenting?

This thread has me confused too. Pretty depressing.

No it’s not like weekday parenting because on the weekdays someone else is taking care of the kids for most of the day. On the weekend it’s just mom and dad and that’s why it sucks.