Anonymous
12/05/2021 08:13
Subject: Re:Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:100% if you have more than one your body will suffer. Once you are holding the baby you really won't care.
I wish people would really stop this narrative. Yes, I still care...10 years later. No, my body will never be the same. Yes, it changed after the first and I will never get it back despite weight loss. Things fit differently. It sucks and there is no way around it. It is the price women pay and it makes me really annoyed when people just say "you won't care when you are holding the baby" because it dismisses a woman's feelings and once again makes her feel that she has to sacrifice everything--even her feelings--to have a baby. There is just no respect for women as independent beings.
OP...it is normal to feel this way. You may get close to your body back and you might not. A second is harder than a first but a first can still change your body permanently (my boobs are bigger forever..which I dont' like and clothes fit differently even after 1...after 2, it was worse). My oldest is 10. I still miss my prebaby body. These are normal feelings and you are not alone.
+1. No one would tell a woman undergoing chemo that it's shallow to miss having hair.
No one would tell a woman undergoing chemo that she chose to have cancer. Pregnancy is a choice.
So is smoking, eating poorly, drinking and other lifestyle choices that cause various illnesses and diseases. That doesn’t mean you can’t have empathy, sympathy, understanding, and want good health care for people. We will all get disease and die someday. All of our bodies will eventually fall apart. Blaming people for their choice doesn’t really accomplish anything. Just makes you feel smug, I guess.
Anonymous
12/05/2021 01:57
Subject: Re:Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:100% if you have more than one your body will suffer. Once you are holding the baby you really won't care.
I wish people would really stop this narrative. Yes, I still care...10 years later. No, my body will never be the same. Yes, it changed after the first and I will never get it back despite weight loss. Things fit differently. It sucks and there is no way around it. It is the price women pay and it makes me really annoyed when people just say "you won't care when you are holding the baby" because it dismisses a woman's feelings and once again makes her feel that she has to sacrifice everything--even her feelings--to have a baby. There is just no respect for women as independent beings.
OP...it is normal to feel this way. You may get close to your body back and you might not. A second is harder than a first but a first can still change your body permanently (my boobs are bigger forever..which I dont' like and clothes fit differently even after 1...after 2, it was worse). My oldest is 10. I still miss my prebaby body. These are normal feelings and you are not alone.
+1. No one would tell a woman undergoing chemo that it's shallow to miss having hair.
No one would tell a woman undergoing chemo that she chose to have cancer. Pregnancy is a choice.
Anonymous
12/05/2021 01:55
Subject: Re:Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:So sad that you are "terrified" of this. I blame the "body after baby" media BS
Really? I blame OP for being shallow.
Anonymous
12/05/2021 01:00
Subject: Scared of losing my body
I didn’t lose mine. Until menopause that is. Once menopause hits you can be thin but you get saggy.
Anonymous
12/05/2021 00:31
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Forty five year old non-mom here. It's all gonna go south eventually anyway even if you dont have kids. May as well get a kid or two and have something to blame it on!
There’s a difference between moms and non-moms who age. Don’t be dense.
Can I have the vagina I had before a human being came out of it?
...yes? Childbirth doesn't destroy your vagina for life. That's a hateful, sexist myth.
No, it’s not. I have birth injuries including levator ani avulsion that ruined the integrity of my vagina. I tore along the inside of my vaginal walls during birth, into my perineum, my labia was partially torn off, and my levator ani pelvic floor muscles were torn from the bone. I now have pelvic organ prolapse of my uterus, rectum (rectocele) and bladder (cystocele). I also have vaginal laxity due to these injuries. This is my reality and my injuries are real. I’m glad for you if you escaped childbirth permanently unharmed but many women end up with injuries like mine, it’s just not acceptable to talk about them yet.
+1. My vagina is mostly the same but there is damage. And the other end is damaged even more. Some women need surgery after children. I am having issues 10 years later. No one talks about this and acts like there is no risk to childbirth. It can seriously permanently damage a woman’s body.
Anonymous
12/04/2021 23:23
Subject: Scared of losing my body
I was in the best shape in my life when I had little kids - nursing burned a ton of calories (and I had a good looking rack bc of it), I consciously ate healthy to set good examples for the kids, my arms were trim and strong from all the kid lifting, I slept great once the youngest STTN, we spent a ton of time outside playing/chase games/simple sports/biking, always on the go, etc.
Anonymous
12/04/2021 22:48
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Forty five year old non-mom here. It's all gonna go south eventually anyway even if you dont have kids. May as well get a kid or two and have something to blame it on!
There’s a difference between moms and non-moms who age. Don’t be dense.
Can I have the vagina I had before a human being came out of it?
...yes? Childbirth doesn't destroy your vagina for life. That's a hateful, sexist myth.
No, it’s not. I have birth injuries including levator ani avulsion that ruined the integrity of my vagina. I tore along the inside of my vaginal walls during birth, into my perineum, my labia was partially torn off, and my levator ani pelvic floor muscles were torn from the bone. I now have pelvic organ prolapse of my uterus, rectum (rectocele) and bladder (cystocele). I also have vaginal laxity due to these injuries. This is my reality and my injuries are real. I’m glad for you if you escaped childbirth permanently unharmed but many women end up with injuries like mine, it’s just not acceptable to talk about them yet.
Anonymous
12/04/2021 21:16
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Forty five year old non-mom here. It's all gonna go south eventually anyway even if you dont have kids. May as well get a kid or two and have something to blame it on!
There’s a difference between moms and non-moms who age. Don’t be dense.
Can I have the vagina I had before a human being came out of it?
...yes? Childbirth doesn't destroy your vagina for life. That's a hateful, sexist myth.
Anonymous
12/04/2021 20:25
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Forty five year old non-mom here. It's all gonna go south eventually anyway even if you dont have kids. May as well get a kid or two and have something to blame it on!
There’s a difference between moms and non-moms who age. Don’t be dense.
Can I have the vagina I had before a human being came out of it?
Anonymous
12/04/2021 11:06
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:One of the hardest parts of parenting is losing control. You think if you eat right and exercise you can control your weight gain or any changes to your body or appearance. You think if your prioritize yourself and mentally resolve to still take care of yourself after baby is born that you will be given a compliant, cooperative baby or children who don’t mind giving you 30 minutes when you need it to shower, dress, and do your hair and makeup. And on and on. Control is an illusion!
True. To OP’s point, even Gisele Bundchen had sagging breasts after her kids and got them repaired. If one of the fittest supermodels experienced postpartum changes….you will too.
Anonymous
12/04/2021 10:52
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Forty five year old non-mom here. It's all gonna go south eventually anyway even if you dont have kids. May as well get a kid or two and have something to blame it on!
There’s a difference between moms and non-moms who age. Don’t be dense.
Anonymous
12/04/2021 01:15
Subject: Re:Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:OP you don’t have to lose your body. It might change some but you can still look just as good as before minus the effects of aging. I still wear fashionable clothing, weigh the same I did in HS and style my hair. It’s not any harder than it was pre-kids. In fact it’s easier since I’m no longer working 14 hour days at work. Kids sleep a lot. Simply sleep train and prioritize yourself. Don’t be one of those moms who doesn’t sleep train and is always exhausted with a cranky kid. Don’t give up your career so you can’t afford to spend money on yourself. Force yourself to exercise. For real having one kid isn’t that hard. Babies can’t even walk. All they do is cry and poop.
It’s easier than pre kids? How is that? Before kids I could spend 20-30 minutes in the AM on makeup and hair. The only person I had to get ready was myself. Add in getting one toddler to daycare and one kid to elementary school and I barely have 3 minutes to slap some lipstick on because I’m trying to get myself ready, my kids ready, and everyone out the door and on time. You guys aren’t being honest if you think it’s easier to get ready and primp with two kids. Don’t lie to prove you’re a mom who takes care of herself. Also, it’s totally ok to be a mom who prioritizes getting her kids ready and puts herself second. Kids aren’t little and won’t always be high need forever and sometimes as a parent your needs do, in fact, come last.
Anonymous
12/03/2021 21:41
Subject: Re:Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Umm, you baby proof the bathroom and have the toddler play next to the tub while you shower. Clear shower curtain so you can see them. When he was a bit smaller, pack n play.
Add in 2 more kids and let’s talk then.
I have three and I shower, work, workout, and do makeup and hair. Nobody is ignored. Maybe you need some time management help.
Anonymous
12/03/2021 21:12
Subject: Scared of losing my body
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How exactly do you shower moms shower with a mobile toddler? I’m waiting.
I’m sorry, what? You don’t just stop functioning because you have a toddler. And most are mobile. You put them in a safe space. You have someone else watch them. You bring them in the bathroom and give them a book. You wait til they’re napping. How are those of you who can’t do any of these things able to function?
Omg the phrase "shower moms" cracked me up, like it's some fancy clique.
Anonymous
12/03/2021 21:11
Subject: Re:Scared of losing my body
OP you don’t have to lose your body. It might change some but you can still look just as good as before minus the effects of aging. I still wear fashionable clothing, weigh the same I did in HS and style my hair. It’s not any harder than it was pre-kids. In fact it’s easier since I’m no longer working 14 hour days at work. Kids sleep a lot. Simply sleep train and prioritize yourself. Don’t be one of those moms who doesn’t sleep train and is always exhausted with a cranky kid. Don’t give up your career so you can’t afford to spend money on yourself. Force yourself to exercise. For real having one kid isn’t that hard. Babies can’t even walk. All they do is cry and poop.