Anonymous
08/28/2022 21:40
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom told me I was an accident. I still don't know why she didn't abort me. No child should know they were unwanted since before they were born.
....and I had a good life and by all measures am successful. It's still painful.
It doesn’t have to be painful; but you are framing it that way. I was obviously an accident because I was conceived while my dad was married to someone else! However, I don’t feel like I was unwanted - obviously my mom wanted me because she gave birth to me when she didn’t have to, and my father and siblings (even the older half siblings my father had with his first wife) love me too.
As for adoption, it’s true that most children who are placed in the US are born to women who are already mothers, but those mothers are not generally in stable, loving relationships with financial resources, like OP. OP may have fewer resources for the third than she’d like, but she probably won’t be choosing whether to feed the family or pay the rent.
I think I love you. Your spirit and that of your mother and older siblings is refreshing.
Anonymous
08/28/2022 21:27
Subject: Re:If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
This was a long time ago but my parents had an oops after six kids and a six year gap. Stunned doesn’t capture our surprise. But having a baby around was a blast and we had babysitters galore. He kept my parents young!
Anonymous
08/28/2022 20:08
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:My mom told me I was an accident. I still don't know why she didn't abort me. No child should know they were unwanted since before they were born.
....and I had a good life and by all measures am successful. It's still painful.
It doesn’t have to be painful; but you are framing it that way. I was obviously an accident because I was conceived while my dad was married to someone else! However, I don’t feel like I was unwanted - obviously my mom wanted me because she gave birth to me when she didn’t have to, and my father and siblings (even the older half siblings my father had with his first wife) love me too.
As for adoption, it’s true that most children who are placed in the US are born to women who are already mothers, but those mothers are not generally in stable, loving relationships with financial resources, like OP. OP may have fewer resources for the third than she’d like, but she probably won’t be choosing whether to feed the family or pay the rent.
Anonymous
08/28/2022 19:51
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:My mom told me I was an accident. I still don't know why she didn't abort me. No child should know they were unwanted since before they were born.
....and I had a good life and by all measures am successful. It's still painful.
I gather that most kids are accidents. You need to grow up.
Anonymous
08/27/2022 21:15
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Both of my kids were oops babies.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 21:54
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
We adapted fine. I actually went back to work full time when this baby was around 2. We bought a bigger house and a bigger car a few years later. none of that was necessary right away. Dc3 is a hilarious delight, though I'm definitely tired and probably let dc3 get away with more.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 21:52
Subject: Re:If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.
Go away. You’re ridiculous. No adult woman with children is going to give up her third child for adoption. Get over yourself.
Not the PP of the adoption thread, but my best friend gave her third child for adoption. She's pretty well-off and could afford a third, she just didn't want to take care of it. No one cared.
I bet the child she didn't want will care when he knows the truth. Your friend is a horrible person.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 20:43
Subject: Re:If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:You need to realize that there is no oops baby. Also realize that you do not need a third row. Three kids are able to fit in the backseat. Children also do not need their own room.
Agreed. We have 3. One bathroom is a bit tight for 5 and it’s a tight fit in a five passenger car. But we manage and are doing just fine. We’re real middle class, not the DCUM version. Under $150 K.
No way on a fourth though.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 20:30
Subject: Re:If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.
Why would you even suggest this? Nowhere does she suggest that she doesn't want this child!
Anonymous
08/25/2022 20:26
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:We had a surprise baby when our DDs were 7 and 9 and they still feel he was the best "gift" they ever got in their lives. They have loved on him since he was born. They were offended to not have been in the room when he was born. DS is the most loved little boy to walk the earth. He's an easy, smiley kid who goes with the flow and always makes any situation more fun.
We never wanted a third kid, but we for sure love having OUR third kid.
What a great story and great kids.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 19:35
Subject: Re:If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:Our third was an oops and when I found out I was pregnant (BC failure) I was worried that my husband would be very upset. We already had a boy and a girl and life was finally running smoothly or almost. Rather than being upset he just said we will handle it and the kids will love having a baby around. My baby is now 18 and just off to college and I can’t imagine life without her.
This is so sweet! 🥹
Anonymous
08/25/2022 19:19
Subject: Re:If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Our third was an oops and when I found out I was pregnant (BC failure) I was worried that my husband would be very upset. We already had a boy and a girl and life was finally running smoothly or almost. Rather than being upset he just said we will handle it and the kids will love having a baby around. My baby is now 18 and just off to college and I can’t imagine life without her.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 18:05
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:If your third child was an oops baby, how have things worked out?
With the third, I don't see how can continue juggle work + children. Our car is now too small. Home too small. I'm four months pregnant and just now scheduled the prenatal appointment because wanted an abortion and to deny the situation. I had an abortion at 23 (35 now) but couldn't go through with it this time.
Wondering how many adapted and are doing okay, and how many are overwhelmed chronically.
This is an old thread so I guess baby has been born? Hope all is well, OP
My 3rd oops was stressful in the beginning. We had to buy a new house, get a new nanny, and repurchase all of the baby goods that we had previously donated. First few years were painful but the oops is now 7 and we're a-ok. She's our resilient one and significantly more helpful in the house than the other 2. We make more money now than 7 yrs ago so not as strained. Life is good. So grateful for my oops.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 18:02
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
If you have a loving family, you won't regret the 3rd kid. He/she would add more love to your family.
Anonymous
08/25/2022 17:53
Subject: If your 3rd child was an oops baby.
Anonymous wrote:If your third child was an oops baby, how have things worked out?
With the third, I don't see how can continue juggle work + children. Our car is now too small. Home too small. I'm four months pregnant and just now scheduled the prenatal appointment because wanted an abortion and to deny the situation. I had an abortion at 23 (35 now) but couldn't go through with it this time.
Wondering how many adapted and are doing okay, and how many are overwhelmed chronically.
Fabulously. He is absolutely amazing, and brought out so much joy in our first two kids. YES, it is harder logistically. But it's only hard for a few years. I dialed back my career. 100% worth it.