Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

But it’s not traditional paper invitations - which, by the way, haven’t been widely used in what, 10 years or more? That’s moot. Hiding the guest list on Evite requires deliberate action on the part of the host. I think it’s juvenile and implies a low opinion of one’s guests. If there were people I thought might not attend if Larla was or was not attending, I’d rather not have those people there to begin with.

If you’re hosting a dinner party for adult friends, do you invite them all individually and not let guests know who else will be there?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send paper invitations. But I also don’t invite the whole class. Why invite the 5 yo who hits my kid. Or the one every parent says is a problem child. Or my favorite the one who used to say super mean threatening things. So yeah we only invite the kids that DD is actually likes. Then we send paper invitations via the mail.

That is also fine. Do you get a good response rate from this sort of an invite in the age of digital invites?

Yes, I do. We address it to the kids, they love getting mail, and we find parents like the personal touch. It doesn’t take that much more effort to open an envelope as it does to click on a link. And we just have them rsvp via text.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send paper invitations. But I also don’t invite the whole class. Why invite the 5 yo who hits my kid. Or the one every parent says is a problem child. Or my favorite the one who used to say super mean threatening things. So yeah we only invite the kids that DD is actually likes. Then we send paper invitations via the mail.

That is also fine. Do you get a good response rate from this sort of an invite in the age of digital invites?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to turn the question around on you - as a guest, why would you need to see who else was invited? When someone sends paper invitations, you have no idea who else was invited. Why does evite/paperless post need to be any different?

Exactly. It should not matter whether it is a closed invite. If you are free and want to come, please do, if not say no.

My kid was invited to a party and very excited and when we went to respond, it looked like others were invited more than a month back. My kid was a little hurt not to be in the first list, but likes the other kid and wanted to go, so we RSVPed yes. It would have been better if it was a closed invite since we wouldn't have known that others were invited ahead. But my kid was still happy to be invited.

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

And you never know if the other parent will ask - "Oh, who's party are you going to?"

And? You might still have that issue whether or not the guest is published or closed.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh no, it's so annoying. If you hide it and I ask another mom if her kid is going and she says no, that's awkward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send paper invitations. But I also don’t invite the whole class. Why invite the 5 yo who hits my kid. Or the one every parent says is a problem child. Or my favorite the one who used to say super mean threatening things. So yeah we only invite the kids that DD is actually likes. Then we send paper invitations via the mail.

That is also fine. Do you get a good response rate from this sort of an invite in the age of digital invites?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

Just say your kid is going to a party. Don’t be so tacky and say it’s Larlo’s.

Tacky? You must live in some stepford suburban competitive housewife hell. Sorry, but it wouldn't be mentioned in order to hurt or make someone feel bad. WTAF.

The intent and the impact may not be the same. I was raised that you never mention social events to anyone who might not be invited. I’m honestly shocked at the lack of tact and discretion some of these posts are indicating is common.

Oh give me a break. We are talking about children's parties, not invitations to Buckingham Palace.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

And you never know if the other parent will ask - "Oh, who's party are you going to?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

Just say your kid is going to a party. Don’t be so tacky and say it’s Larlo’s.

Tacky? You must live in some stepford suburban competitive housewife hell. Sorry, but it wouldn't be mentioned in order to hurt or make someone feel bad. WTAF.

The intent and the impact may not be the same. I was raised that you never mention social events to anyone who might not be invited. I’m honestly shocked at the lack of tact and discretion some of these posts are indicating is common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.