Can we stop arguing about the chef who plates the meal? Let’s talk about OP’s question.

I am especially frustrated by things in life that require extra effort but reduce enjoyment, so I would find having my Thanksgiving plated annoying. I'd be much happier if you just let me make my own plate. I'll even do it straight from the cookware if you want.

As the haughty poster above talking about dinner parties indirectly showed, serving plated food can more about appearing sophisticated and (in some instances) showing off either your own plating skills or that you could afford caterers and servers than it is about pleasing your guests.

So why would I serve Thanksgiving in a way that is both more work and makes people less happy? But if someone put a plate in front of me, I'd eat what I want of it without complaint (but I'm not taking a bite of something I know I don't like).

Regarding the original question, we don't have china, or silver flatware, or cloth napkins, or even a tablecloth, so we don't use any of that stuff. We'll usually get fancy and put out bread plates. We might even try to use matching glasses. We do use the dining room, which we only do for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Anonymous wrote:This is so funny, because we do the exact opposite--we use disposable when we host big family meals. I hate that feeling at the end of the day when the kitchen is just overflowing with things to wash. I feel like it takes away from enjoying people's company post-meal. So other than the unavoidables (pots/pans/etc.) it's all disposable. I try to buy the "classy" stuff but ultimately I don't really care what it looks like, as long as it holds up to a full plate of food and the forks and knives don't break mid-cut.

AMEN

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

DP, who has read the back and forth (why, I don't know). I think it's likely relatively unusual to plate Thanksgiving dinner and that, coupled with more than a little haughtiness from the chef, is what's setting people off. There's this "how can you not know that I serve a gourmet, plated, Thanksgiving meal!?!" attitude that's very off-putting.

And really, no one called the chef PP directly rude, it was a generic comment about plating, and s/he took personal offense and can't let go. It's strange.

+1 it's weird. Thanksgiving is not the time to do the plating. I would grin and bear it but inside be miffed that I couldn't help myself to the things I like, and skip the things I don't. There isn't likely to be a new and totally amazing different food I've never had before. Most people have a pretty good sense of what they like and what they don't. Let them decide on a day about food how much or little to have. It's about sharing a meal together, not forcing everyone to try just one bite of everything by loading it on their plate.

It is about sharing a meal. Why is it weird if another family shares a meal differently than you do? If it’s ok with them? I’m genuinely curious!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

DP, who has read the back and forth (why, I don't know). I think it's likely relatively unusual to plate Thanksgiving dinner and that, coupled with more than a little haughtiness from the chef, is what's setting people off. There's this "how can you not know that I serve a gourmet, plated, Thanksgiving meal!?!" attitude that's very off-putting.

And really, no one called the chef PP directly rude, it was a generic comment about plating, and s/he took personal offense and can't let go. It's strange.

I don’t think it’s the same person on the thread bc I’m not the chef and I’ve made a few posts in defense of him or her. But I agree the idea of plating has really set a lot of people off for whatever reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

DP, who has read the back and forth (why, I don't know). I think it's likely relatively unusual to plate Thanksgiving dinner and that, coupled with more than a little haughtiness from the chef, is what's setting people off. There's this "how can you not know that I serve a gourmet, plated, Thanksgiving meal!?!" attitude that's very off-putting.

And really, no one called the chef PP directly rude, it was a generic comment about plating, and s/he took personal offense and can't let go. It's strange.

+1 it's weird. Thanksgiving is not the time to do the plating. I would grin and bear it but inside be miffed that I couldn't help myself to the things I like, and skip the things I don't. There isn't likely to be a new and totally amazing different food I've never had before. Most people have a pretty good sense of what they like and what they don't. Let them decide on a day about food how much or little to have. It's about sharing a meal together, not forcing everyone to try just one bite of everything by loading it on their plate.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Please do not serve people. It’s rude and wasteful.

I agree 100%. Not everyone likes everything; people have diets they want to follow; people have restrictions and even allergies that they don't wish to discuss or defend. Never never ever ever put a plate of food in front of a grown adult unless they specifically ask you to or agree to that when you offer.

This is so interesting to me. I am a chef and plating the meal a certain way is part of the experience. In our home, our Thanksgiving guests are our families and we are well aware of any food allergies. Since I’m asked to host every year, I guess nobody thinks I am rude (shrug). You, on the other hand, both sound like very rude dinner party guests.

99% of people here are not dining with chefs on thanksgiving. We are sitting with our family and in-laws. You are the exception not the rule. We didn’t order a plate, so we shouldn’t be served like a child. Not to mention over and under serving.

I agree. I hate it when others serve me a plate of food. They’ll put too much turkey when I just want a little. They’ll put not enough gravy when I want a lot. They’ll serve me Brussel sprouts which I hate, etc…. It’s so much better to serve oneself!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

DP, who has read the back and forth (why, I don't know). I think it's likely relatively unusual to plate Thanksgiving dinner and that, coupled with more than a little haughtiness from the chef, is what's setting people off. There's this "how can you not know that I serve a gourmet, plated, Thanksgiving meal!?!" attitude that's very off-putting.

And really, no one called the chef PP directly rude, it was a generic comment about plating, and s/he took personal offense and can't let go. It's strange.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like for many people Thanksgiving is about someone serving them an all-you-can-eat buffet, without any food touching, and without any regard to the person who cooked all day. Are you people five?

No which is why we can serve ourselves

As someone who has done all the cooking in the past, I can assure you that setting up the buffet is still considered serving dinner to guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like for many people Thanksgiving is about someone serving them an all-you-can-eat buffet, without any food touching, and without any regard to the person who cooked all day. Are you people five?

No which is why we can serve ourselves

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

+1 Exactly. And I love how you point out that no one is making fun of the poster with all the demands for variety and yet all that poster is doing is making fun of an knocking people who do Thanksgiving differently. Some people are clueless and that poster is example number 1.

It sounds like for many people Thanksgiving is about someone serving them an all-you-can-eat buffet, without any food touching, and without any regard to the person who cooked all day. Are you people five?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I don’t sense an attitude from PP at all.