Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 20:19     Subject: Re:Girls in princess costumes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 4 yr old who loves pink and purple, princesses, ballerinas, etc. If it's pink and frilly, she wants it. Oh and sparkles. Bows too! I was a SAHM until she started PK, and mostly wear black and gray and the only TV she's allowed is Daniel Tiger and Bluey and a couple of things -- no Disney princess stuff. But I believe in letting my kid have some autonomy and especially to be able to make choices over what she wears. So even though it's not what I would pick, I buy her pink ruffly princessy stuff all the time. Other things too, but I don't try to force gender neutral clothes on her (she will reject them, she knows what is up) or steer her towards liking other things. It's her choice.

She was a ballerina for Halloween -- I found a pink and gold tutu with bows and lace and a crown and we did her hair up in a bun like the "real" ballerinas we found photos of online. She was thrilled and looked adorable and spent the entire evening with a huge grin on her face.

But apparently my independent, joyous child who knows her own mind and goes her own way should have been forced to dress as a doctor or a monkey or something "gender neutral" because small kids playing pink princess are bad. Okay.

Enjoy parenting OP! I think you are in for it. Sadly, so is your DD. Best of luck.


I mean you’re a SAHM so your Dd is already getting a lesson in being a useless female


Wow. I’m a lawyer who works a lot and when my 4 year old DD is asked what she wants to be when she grows up, she says “a mommy.” So how’s that.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 20:16     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
I'm 50 years old and still wish I were a pretty princess!
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 20:16     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
My eldest had a princess phase between 2 and 4. She was Elsa, Anna, Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, etc. I never cared and never understood why girls can’t like pink, unicorns, princesses, etc. The same girl dressed up as Godzilla at 5 and at 8 was a Vampire and does not like pink.
My second daughter never liked pink or princesses and always preferred Wonder Woman, Ninjas, etc.

You are not as cool or as progressive as you think you are
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 20:15     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
Anonymous wrote:We tried to prevent princesses early in DD's life. But then she went to preschool and suddenly was the princess of everything. She loves it. It is what it is.


My 4 year old is one of only two girls in her preschool class. They don’t do princesses there. Then she watched Moana and Frozen. Wow. She of course was Elsa for Halloween and wore the costume all day today. My 7 year old boy liked it a lot too! They got it direct from Disney - no peer pressure involved.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 19:54     Subject: Re:Girls in princess costumes
I don’t believe that being fem negates being smart. I have my PhD in statistics, am working in my field, and love makeup and feeling ::gasp:: pretty. My daughter is 5 and loves princesses. She is also bilingual, obsessed with doing math and puzzles. So I guess, OP, you’re just not as open minded as you think you are.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 19:35     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
You have issues.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 19:34     Subject: Re:Girls in princess costumes
Anonymous wrote:Lol I'm the PP from early in the thread who noted that my kid didn't pick up her love of pink and princesses at daycare since I SAHMed until PK. But it's amusing to me that I've been told I'm a "useless female" because I'm a SAHM, since as is clear from my post, I no longer SAH. My point was merely that DD didn't get princess love from me, and she didn't get it from TV, and she didn't get it at daycare since she didn't go. And yet, she still loves pink and princesses/ballerinas. Meaning this is just a phase lots of kids go through and not some gendered nonsense that gets shoved down their throat. I think the fantasy of getting to wear really beautiful clothes and feel very important is strong. This is also why boys who like princess stuff like it. I think there would be more of them were it not for gendered expectations because wearing brightly colored clothes and pretending to be important is appealing to basically all kids. Instead of rolling your eyes at girls doing this, you might ask why/how so many boys just wear very drab clothes and like sports. I think boys with gender essentialist parents get screwed because the range of stuff they deem masculine enough for their boys is so limited. Meanwhile, girls are allowed to do stereotypically feminine things and stereotypically masculine things.


Tldr
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:42     Subject: Re:Girls in princess costumes
Lol I'm the PP from early in the thread who noted that my kid didn't pick up her love of pink and princesses at daycare since I SAHMed until PK. But it's amusing to me that I've been told I'm a "useless female" because I'm a SAHM, since as is clear from my post, I no longer SAH. My point was merely that DD didn't get princess love from me, and she didn't get it from TV, and she didn't get it at daycare since she didn't go. And yet, she still loves pink and princesses/ballerinas. Meaning this is just a phase lots of kids go through and not some gendered nonsense that gets shoved down their throat. I think the fantasy of getting to wear really beautiful clothes and feel very important is strong. This is also why boys who like princess stuff like it. I think there would be more of them were it not for gendered expectations because wearing brightly colored clothes and pretending to be important is appealing to basically all kids. Instead of rolling your eyes at girls doing this, you might ask why/how so many boys just wear very drab clothes and like sports. I think boys with gender essentialist parents get screwed because the range of stuff they deem masculine enough for their boys is so limited. Meanwhile, girls are allowed to do stereotypically feminine things and stereotypically masculine things.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:42     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
Is it better that both my daughter AND my son wanted to be Elsa for Halloween?
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:36     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
I'm willing to bet Elena Kagan wore a princess outfit or two as a kid.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:17     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
A boring phase, but just a phase.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:15     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
Our girl wears a princess dress with heavy boots, and carries a shield and sword. She’s ferocious.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:14     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I a bad person that I have a visceral reaction when I see girls in traditional princess costumes? If they’re non-traditional like Mulan or Leia (ie people who actually DO something) I’m okay with it. Even the Frozen princesses who are so popular nowadays seem to just exist to be blonde and pretty. Btw I have a 5yo and so far we’ve been doing creative/neutral costumes like doctor or monkey, but she’s starting to get influenced by her K classmates :-/


I don’t think you are a bad person, but it is bad. You may want to think about getting therapy to understand why it bothers you so much.


Oh I know why it bothers me - because I respect (and want DD to emulate) people who do things rather than people who are just pretty. Same reason I prefer Elena Kagan to Kim Kardashian. But yes, I should recognize it’s a phase, likely fueled by peer pressure, and has little bearing on future interests.


I am no Kim Kardashian fan but you are being unfair. She is doing something, like running her business and going to law school!


Little kids don't understand who Elena Kagan is. When I see a kid dressed like RBG I assume the parents played a heavy hand in that choice to get the social media points with their like minded obnoxious friends, that's your own peer pressure you're caving to. Maybe get a back bone? Most kids pick costume themes that are relevant to their small world. Super heroes, cartoon characters, Disney princesses, Lego, firemen, video game characters, etc etc. They are pretending and playing dress up. Why quash that bit of fun because it's not progressive enough or won't impress your friends? Let them be kids. Mine went as a cheerleader and a knight. They picked out their own costumes and had a blast wearing them.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:13     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
I played with barbies, dye my hair blonde and like skirts.

I also kept my last name and, gasp, my kids have my last name and not DH's.

You can be pretty and a feminist, ya know.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2021 18:09     Subject: Girls in princess costumes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I a bad person that I have a visceral reaction when I see girls in traditional princess costumes? If they’re non-traditional like Mulan or Leia (ie people who actually DO something) I’m okay with it. Even the Frozen princesses who are so popular nowadays seem to just exist to be blonde and pretty. Btw I have a 5yo and so far we’ve been doing creative/neutral costumes like doctor or monkey, but she’s starting to get influenced by her K classmates :-/
Yes.


I agree. Op, have you seen frozen or are you just so woke that you're assuming the non traditional (read: nonwhite, apparently)heroines are by default more important and valuable?


I am really bad at paying attention to kids movies, so I can see how someone could watch Frozen and miss that Anna does stuff.

But even I couldn't miss that she isn't blonde.

So, I'm guessing that no, OP hasn't seen the movie.