Anonymous
Post 10/30/2021 10:33     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
The underlying issue here is his negligence and bad behaviors at home. Taking out the trash but really just setting outside the door is stupid and makes an animal mess. He’s been told that and the rationale and what to do, yet does. Not. Do. It.

Find out why.

Dumb? Misogynistic? Narcissist? Brain disorder or disability? Belligerent?

Then decide if you want to live w someone like that and for how long . Hold off on having kids until you answer why he cannot and/or will not do basic stuff correctly.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2021 07:36     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
You have gotten to a stage where you don't respect him and are actively doing hurtful things. Marriage counseling to improve communication. Give it some real effort. I see why you're so irritated about the trash. He needs to learn how important this issue is to you, and you need different tools to cope with frustration.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 19:44     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
I don't know can DH destroy something of yours when he gets annoyed with you? Would that be awesome?
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 19:43     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Your behavior was inappropriate. You were not awesome and you need to learn how to manage your emotions. You both need to figure out how to function as a team if you plan to remain married and have a healthy relationship.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 19:43     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Bizarre.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 19:42     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband leaves his stuff around the house. Everywhere. I warn him that if he doesn't pick up after himself, I will throw his stuff in the trash.

And I do it. And he's adapted and doesn't leave his hats, shoes, underwear all over the house any longer because he wants to keep his stuff.



Another nutter.

I don't understand anyone in relationships like this.



+ 1
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 19:42     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Anonymous wrote:My husband leaves his stuff around the house. Everywhere. I warn him that if he doesn't pick up after himself, I will throw his stuff in the trash.

And I do it. And he's adapted and doesn't leave his hats, shoes, underwear all over the house any longer because he wants to keep his stuff.





He leaves it at his AP's
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 19:38     Subject: Re:Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Uncool and not classy.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:54     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
He deserved it.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:40     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
I hope he makes high income so you can keep paying maids to pick up after him and repairmen to fix your deferred maintenance and house neglect or mess. Still a pita to manage but maybe you can convince yourself his high income can compensation for his lack of effort or thinking…
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:33     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Awesome.

But I’d be very concerned that this is just the tip of the iceberg of his shortcomings.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:27     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Passive aggressive
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:18     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:First time: “Hey, you forgot to move the bag and animals got into the trash. I cleaned it up, but please remember next time.”

Next time it looks like he’s going to forget: “Hey, you forgot last time and I had to clean it up and it was disgusting. Can you please do it now?”

Second time you have to clean up: “Larlo, you forgot to take the trash to the bin again, it’s not fair to make me clean up that horrible mess.”

Honestly I’d leave the mess for him to clean up unless it’s actively dangerous (like chicken bones and you have a dog). If you have to do it, you say “Larlo, you keep forgetting and the animals make a huge mess that I have to clean up so the dogs don’t get hurt. I’m really frustrated. Something needs to happen differently.”


NP - I get this approach except the trash will attract rats and vermin and it's completely unsanitary. Plus what if they have guests??? Trash all over the deck is one of those things that needs to be cleaned up ASAP. Her husband sucks.


So why can't OP take over the garbage disposal job and trade a chore she hates with her husband. He does not want to do this chore and it's turned into stupid work for both of them. How freaking hard is it for OP to take thie one over - and give her husband the chore of loading the dishwasher or whatever.


I would guess he's probably as good at the other chores as he is at taking out the trash. It's likely a problem with everything. OP -- Does he do other chores and complete them?


+1 key question. How chronic is his poor judgment and lack of care about everything at home?
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:15     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Put a trash can on the deck so he can put the garbage bag in there and the animals can’t get to it. Move it to the front on trash day.


This is crazy. Husband is SO lazy, he can't just walk to the trash can and put the bag in? He lets it get ripped up by animals and then his wife has to clean it up?!?!?!?!. MORE THAN ONCE?? He's a jerk. He deserves to have his coat covered in trash.

He doesn't respect his partner at all, and because society generally lets men get away with not doing their fair share of housework -- somehow DW is crazy because she has to make a statement by trashing his coat to get his attention!\

Sorry but that is insane. He needs to get his act together and grow up. Walk the 20 feet (hell, maybe 100 feet!!) to the trashcan! Infuriating.


Youre psycho.

Just don’t clean it up and he has to.

Stop acting like everybody has to be perfect all the time and you have to go behind them and fix it.

Let.it.go


Call his Mim and Dad to clean it up and de-pest your yard. They clearly didn’t teach him jack about life.

I’m surprised your neighbors aren’t intervening since you’re attracting vermin.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2021 17:14     Subject: Am I Awesome or Terrible?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:First time: “Hey, you forgot to move the bag and animals got into the trash. I cleaned it up, but please remember next time.”

Next time it looks like he’s going to forget: “Hey, you forgot last time and I had to clean it up and it was disgusting. Can you please do it now?”

Second time you have to clean up: “Larlo, you forgot to take the trash to the bin again, it’s not fair to make me clean up that horrible mess.”

Honestly I’d leave the mess for him to clean up unless it’s actively dangerous (like chicken bones and you have a dog). If you have to do it, you say “Larlo, you keep forgetting and the animals make a huge mess that I have to clean up so the dogs don’t get hurt. I’m really frustrated. Something needs to happen differently.”


NP - I get this approach except the trash will attract rats and vermin and it's completely unsanitary. Plus what if they have guests??? Trash all over the deck is one of those things that needs to be cleaned up ASAP. Her husband sucks.


Depends on the timing. If he’s going to get home an hour or two after her, I don’t think it’s a huge difference and the unsanitary condition is not substantially worse. If he’s going to be home the next week, yeah, it needs to be cleaned up.


op made it pretty clear that new NeVER circles back to out the trash out properly and he never cleans up the ripped up trash bags he whips out the porch door.