I don't think the kids were in grave danger, but you need to let him fail on his own.

That means don't get involved and let him deal with the police, or CPS, or the other parents in the parking lot. Let him deal with the kids and the dogs.

Is there a pattern of neglect or abuse? If not, you need to help your kids have a good relationship with their father. This “incident” isn’t enough to try and hurt your husband’s custody. Both of you need to prioritize the children and stop hurting each other. I’ve been a kid of divorce and this story makes me feel really sad for your kids. They deserve better than an ugly divorce and custody battle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

I always blame or partially blame my kids for accidents I could have prevented.

Mom showing disrespect constantly to dad and grandma could be why child doesn't follow dad's instructions.

Or, dad and grandma combined having no common sense—again, you’d fire your nanny for doing this— is why mom isn’t particularly impressed by their judgment...

I would fire my nanny for leaving my kids in the car to go pick up a pizza for herself, because she's supposed to be working. But if I asked her to go pick up a pizza and she left my 8yo and 5yo in the car by themselves to go in and grab it, I'd be fine with that. I'd be furious with my kids if they got out and wandered around, ESPECIALLY if they managed to lock themselves out and the dog in!

I'd also fire my nanny for giving the 3yo the iPad for an hour so she could go have sex with her husband, and yet I've done that myself...it's almost like the standards for nannies and for parents are different!

NP here.

- It clearly wasn't safe to leave the kids unattended in the car, because they got out.
- A child of 8 isn't old enough to watch a younger sibling out in public.
- A carjacker could have taken off with the kids. It was less safe leaving the keys in the car and the car running than just locking the kids in the car.
- Either the grandma or the dad should have stayed in the car with the kids.
- I don't know the legality of this, but it's extremely poor judgment (and unnecessary with 2 adults present) at a minimum.

I'm curious how OP found out and what happened when the kids escaped the car. That's critical info to know whether or not she overreacted by showing up to the scene. Big difference between 8 year old called her saying younger sibling ran away and is missing vs. Dad telling her they're running late due to escape trick but everyone is fine now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call cps now or have the police do so.

Document this and talk with them in this and everything/all concerns and incidents like this.

Also if you don’t others can call cps on you. And court will ask you too why you didn’t.

Your hands are tied. Call CPS.

CPS would laugh their asses off a this. They deal with actual abuse and neglect cases. This doesn't rate. At all.

CPS took a mom’s kid because she left him in the car to go to a job interview.

Because running in to get a pizza is the exact same thing as an hour long interview out of sight from your kids. GTFO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hardly sounds life threatening, just a little dumb. Grandma should have stayed in car. That being said, calling the police for this is only going to escalate the bad breakup and is not going to do anything productive here. Frankly, I'd direct energy toward teaching the kids safety rules, knowing htey will be with dad half the time.

Pizzas and sitters/gma and left alone 50%. Good stuff Dad.

You sound personally vested in this, so you must be OP.
Nothing in the OPs post has anything to do with left alone 50% of the time.

Not Op. not sure a guy this absentminded would want 50% for more than a month. Caring for two children is a lot of work.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve left my kids in the car for 5 minutes at that age to run into a place and pick up something. Not as SHOPPING, but as in ordered food and run in to get it.
9 is definitely old enough to know to stay in the car.
OP is making a drama out of this.
OP, it sounds like you have other issues with your soon to be x. Focus on the big things. This is not one of them.

OP wrote “ The kids both under the age of 9”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call cps now or have the police do so.

Document this and talk with them in this and everything/all concerns and incidents like this.

Also if you don’t others can call cps on you. And court will ask you too why you didn’t.

Your hands are tied. Call CPS.

CPS would laugh their asses off a this. They deal with actual abuse and neglect cases. This doesn't rate. At all.

CPS took a mom’s kid because she left him in the car to go to a job interview.

I’ve left my kids in the car for 5 minutes at that age to run into a place and pick up something. Not as SHOPPING, but as in ordered food and run in to get it.
9 is definitely old enough to know to stay in the car.
OP is making a drama out of this.
OP, it sounds like you have other issues with your soon to be x. Focus on the big things. This is not one of them.

Anonymous wrote:What was your purpose in going there other than to make drama? I agree, husband did nothing wrong and why would your kids do that? A nine year old is old enough to stay in the car for 5 minutes and old enough to know better.

I don’t know where OP lives, but many places the younger child could not be left in the car alone with a 9 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hardly sounds life threatening, just a little dumb. Grandma should have stayed in car. That being said, calling the police for this is only going to escalate the bad breakup and is not going to do anything productive here. Frankly, I'd direct energy toward teaching the kids safety rules, knowing htey will be with dad half the time.

Pizzas and sitters/gma and left alone 50%. Good stuff Dad.

You sound personally vested in this, so you must be OP.
Nothing in the OPs post has anything to do with left alone 50% of the time.

Anonymous wrote:How old is your car that you can still lock it when the key is inside? I feel like I haven’t been able to do that in a long time.

This.
My car (2015 model, so not super new, but not super old) it would not be possible to lock keys inside the car.

Anonymous wrote:This hardly sounds life threatening, just a little dumb. Grandma should have stayed in car. That being said, calling the police for this is only going to escalate the bad breakup and is not going to do anything productive here. Frankly, I'd direct energy toward teaching the kids safety rules, knowing htey will be with dad half the time.

Pizzas and sitters/gma and left alone 50%. Good stuff Dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

I always blame or partially blame my kids for accidents I could have prevented.

Mom showing disrespect constantly to dad and grandma could be why child doesn't follow dad's instructions.

Or, dad and grandma combined having no common sense—again, you’d fire your nanny for doing this— is why mom isn’t particularly impressed by their judgment...

I'd fire a wife who needs a nanny. Which is what OP's husband is doing.

What’s OPs Hubsand doing again?

Oh yeah, leaving a couple kids age 5-8 in a car with keys for 5+ minutes alone.
They wandered out, locking the door. He has no spare key or valet key so had to call OP and a locksmith.

Oh did we mention his grown mother was also there the whole time and also agreed to leave the young children alone in the car for 5+ minutes!?

Can’t make this up folks! Look at the losers commenting trying desperately to rationalize and even defend the F Up. And even attack OP.

Patriarchy is falling fast.

This hardly sounds life threatening, just a little dumb. Grandma should have stayed in car. That being said, calling the police for this is only going to escalate the bad breakup and is not going to do anything productive here. Frankly, I'd direct energy toward teaching the kids safety rules, knowing htey will be with dad half the time.