Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This happened to us today. DD is 7 and one of the youngest on her team. The coach says she does great but another parent today kept yelling criticisms about my daughter’s dribbling and aim.

Is this considered acceptable?

I coach a different sport for 10 year-olds. At the first parent meeting I lay down the law: I will not tolerate coaching from the sidelines and badmouthing any player (on our team or our opponents) . Do it once, your kid is going to sit. Do it twice, your kid is off the team. I will NOT have it. They are also directed to follow a 24-hour rule with any concerns with me (as in, you can raise issues 24 hours after a game, but never immediately after). And I urge them to NOT discuss games on the ride home. We also do not, as a team, have post-game meetings. Rather, we talk about the competitions at the beginning of our next practice.

I've only had to kick a kid off a team one time for this in 8 years. I think I have a reputation for having very clear boundaries, so the kids who come to me, the parents already know what to expect and are on board with it.

This is youth sports. It's supposed to be developmental. They are going to make mistakes. We will address them in practice. But I will not criticize, denigrate or yell corrections during a game (which is different than quietly making an adjustment one-on-one on the sidelines). The kids should hear the coaches and only the coaches talking to them -- not the parents. If you can't keep your mouth shut, you can take your kid to another team. At least I can protect them from your insanity.

Works for me. I don't lose much.

This is youth sports.

Anonymous wrote:
Thank you! I appreciate this post so much.

I also yelled to my kid, “Larla, be ready!” Or, “Larla, get it!” She’s seven and sometimes gets distracted. But maybe my attempts at encouragement were not helpful.

While it wasn’t as bad as the criticisms the other parent yelled, my encouragement may have been misplaced.

Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you put your kid on public display you have to be open to criticism not threats but critics have all rights to boo or cheer the same. you approaching the critic is actual a form of assault and can be subject to arrest. if you cant handle the boos keep your kid home but if you come out in public your subject to public opinion.

Just remember that any parent can be packing heat and might not hesitate to shut you up with it. If you can’t handle it, then keep your mouth shut and stay home.

Anonymous wrote:If you put your kid on public display you have to be open to criticism not threats but critics have all rights to boo or cheer the same. you approaching the critic is actual a form of assault and can be subject to arrest. if you cant handle the boos keep your kid home but if you come out in public your subject to public opinion.

Anonymous wrote:If you put your kid on public display you have to be open to criticism not threats but critics have all rights to boo or cheer the same. you approaching the critic is actual a form of assault and can be subject to arrest. if you cant handle the boos keep your kid home but if you come out in public your subject to public opinion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by critisism? Yes. It is normal to yell things like, "Take the shot, Larla!" "Get open, Larla!" or whatever. It's not normal to "criticize" any of the players. "Bad footwork, Larla!" "Learn to shoot, Larla!"

I can't tell from your post if the parents are being grossly inappropriate or if you're being overly sensitvie.

There is really no need to be giving instructions to any kid from the sideline, including your own. If you are one of these people, learn to shut up. Your kid will appreciate it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I think its very hypocritical that many of the parents who are so anti yelling at kids are the same ones that will yell out "stop pushing" when it happens to their kid. Cant have it both ways parents. Would love to hear how you feel about teammates yelling at each other. Should the field be the players domain? Their place to function with their peers without parents getting involved? At what point or age is it ok to criticize ? Boo? Everything shouldn't be cheered and praised. It makes them believe they are succeeding even when they are in reality failing.

who has said this?

Any coach worth their salt will teach how to counter "pushing." My kid has been shoulder charging effectively, without being called since U9, even while playing against bigger kids.

Shoulder charging is a foul you idiot.

It actually isn't. Idiot.

DP. It is a foul. Your kid just does not get called because she/he is small. If a bigger player does the same thing they get called. You can also get the ball and it is still a foul.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is unacceptable. Parent of two that played Divison 1.

If anyone criticized my kids at any age they'd have to deal with all four foot ten of me and it would not be pretty.

Also, I never had my kids with coaches that screamed at kids. Never. Walked away twice never looked back.

+1. I’m a parent of two boys that are also playing D1 soccer.

If anyone on our team that criticizes my boys during their youth soccer games, they would have to deal with my husband who is 6’6” 270 lbs and former D1 football player. There are many games that their uncles would attend who are as equally large and strong. It’s interesting that no parents ever criticize my boys back then even though they were late bloomers/growth spurts. I don’t know if the other parents were just decent human beings or were just too scared to piss off my husband.

Lady you would be surprised how many people pack heat and are not afraid to use it thats a huge equalizer to 6'6" 270lbs

If anyone on our team that criticizes my boys during their youth soccer games, they would have to deal with my husband who is 6’6” 270 lbs and former D1 football player. There are many games that their uncles would attend who are as equally large and strong. It’s interesting that no parents ever criticize my boys back then even though they were late bloomers/growth spurts. I don’t know if the other parents were just decent human beings or were just too scared to piss off my husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is unacceptable. Parent of two that played Divison 1.

If anyone criticized my kids at any age they'd have to deal with all four foot ten of me and it would not be pretty.

Also, I never had my kids with coaches that screamed at kids. Never. Walked away twice never looked back.

+1. I’m a parent of two boys that are also playing D1 soccer.

If anyone on our team that criticizes my boys during their youth soccer games, they would have to deal with my husband who is 6’6” 270 lbs and former D1 football player. There are many games that their uncles would attend who are as equally large and strong. It’s interesting that no parents ever criticize my boys back then even though they were late bloomers/growth spurts. I don’t know if the other parents were just decent human beings or were just too scared to piss off my husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This happened to us today. DD is 7 and one of the youngest on her team. The coach says she does great but another parent today kept yelling criticisms about my daughter’s dribbling and aim.

Is this considered acceptable?

I coach a different sport for 10 year-olds. At the first parent meeting I lay down the law: I will not tolerate coaching from the sidelines and badmouthing any player (on our team or our opponents) . Do it once, your kid is going to sit. Do it twice, your kid is off the team. I will NOT have it. They are also directed to follow a 24-hour rule with any concerns with me (as in, you can raise issues 24 hours after a game, but never immediately after). And I urge them to NOT discuss games on the ride home. We also do not, as a team, have post-game meetings. Rather, we talk about the competitions at the beginning of our next practice.

I've only had to kick a kid off a team one time for this in 8 years. I think I have a reputation for having very clear boundaries, so the kids who come to me, the parents already know what to expect and are on board with it.

This is youth sports. It's supposed to be developmental. They are going to make mistakes. We will address them in practice. But I will not criticize, denigrate or yell corrections during a game (which is different than quietly making an adjustment one-on-one on the sidelines). The kids should hear the coaches and only the coaches talking to them -- not the parents. If you can't keep your mouth shut, you can take your kid to another team. At least I can protect them from your insanity.

Works for me. I don't lose much.

This is youth sports.

Anonymous wrote:
This happened to us today. DD is 7 and one of the youngest on her team. The coach says she does great but another parent today kept yelling criticisms about my daughter’s dribbling and aim.

Is this considered acceptable?