Anonymous wrote:OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.

This.

Why must people do this??? To others AND to themselves?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not super skinny but my husband's sisters are obese and thin shame me. I need to stop putting up with it.

How do you shame someone for being superior?

Its immature for 2 big people making fun of someone skinny for being what they refuse to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.

Easy for you to say. I’m short fat and ugly

My ex surprised me by sleeping with 4ft 10 chubby gals with no neck. He was a doctor. Believe me some men find it sexy.

I don't think it's sexy as much as 'easy and available'. Quite common to affair down.

They are still together.

Lol who are you? My ex did start off looking for easy and available and found it. He stayed with the one who didn't care that he lied and also tried to cheat on her by coming back to me. Chubby gal puts up with it. I wouldn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

Maybe you're just not that thin.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

"I have never had this experience, thus I conclude it must be your fault that you have." Okay, cool, thank you for explaining why your opinion is totally invalid.

If this is happening to you again and again, the common denominator is you. Figure out why that is. Sorry the truth hurts.

Or maybe people should mind their manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not super skinny but my husband's sisters are obese and thin shame me. I need to stop putting up with it.

How do you shame someone for being superior?

Who is superior? Skinny people are gross according to most people here.

Anonymous wrote:I honestly do not think about the size or weight of a woman when I meet her. My husband does but it’s not something I ever notice or compare. I’m too focused on the conversation. I guess I’m not a good multi-tasker. I also feel awkward and anxious socializing so maybe I’m just too distracted. Conversation is an art and a skill I don’t possess. I’ve been skinny most of my life….until menopause. Just a little curvy now.

Fellow skinny person who tends not to notice people's sizes that much. I don't think about mine either. I always just assume I'm average and only notice that I'm thinner than others if someone points it out. I had a friend in grad school who lost a large amount of weight (maybe 50-60 lbs I think) and I didn't really notice. I noticed she was working out a lot and had started running with her husband as a hobby. And I noticed that she was having more fun with her clothes and would compliment her on them. But I didn't actually notice the weight loss -- another friend had to point it out to me. I guess in retrospect I could see how her face was less full, but I honestly don't remember ever looking at her body closely enough to notice a difference.

And this has happened to me throughout my life. I can never tell if someone has lost 15 or 20 pounds and am always a little confused when people talk about that kind of weight loss or gain. I don't say anything and if someone is working on losing weight and is proud of their success or frustrated with how it's going, I think I am pretty good at commiserating. I can identify generally with working towards a goal or with feeling good or negative about yourself in a given moment, even if for me that's never really tied to my weight. I try to be a good supportive friend in this way but it's like I have weight blindness or something.

If friends resent me for being thin I think I would just assume they don't like something about my personality and distance myself because I wouldn't want to be around someone who didn't seem to like me. I feel like most of my friends don't care one way or the other though. They know me well enough that they wouldn't reduce me to just my weight either, just as I would never do to them.

I honestly do not think about the size or weight of a woman when I meet her. My husband does but it’s not something I ever notice or compare. I’m too focused on the conversation. I guess I’m not a good multi-tasker. I also feel awkward and anxious socializing so maybe I’m just too distracted. Conversation is an art and a skill I don’t possess. I’ve been skinny most of my life….until menopause. Just a little curvy now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

"I have never had this experience, thus I conclude it must be your fault that you have." Okay, cool, thank you for explaining why your opinion is totally invalid.

If this is happening to you again and again, the common denominator is you. Figure out why that is. Sorry the truth hurts.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not super skinny but my husband's sisters are obese and thin shame me. I need to stop putting up with it.

How do you shame someone for being superior?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.

Easy for you to say. I’m short fat and ugly

My ex surprised me by sleeping with 4ft 10 chubby gals with no neck. He was a doctor. Believe me some men find it sexy.

I don't think it's sexy as much as 'easy and available'. Quite common to affair down.

They are still together.

I'm not super skinny but my husband's sisters are obese and thin shame me. I need to stop putting up with it.

Remind yourself that there's a wide range of normal.

It's about looking and feeling healthy for YOU.

I would take it as a reminder to check in with yourself. Are you taking good care of yourself. Not in a "Do I look skinny enough" kind of way. More in a "How do I truly feel about myself" kind of way.

Personally, I'd love to be 5'7" or 5'8 and maybe a size 6 or so. Not super skinny but a particular look. To me, that just seems attractive in an "easy," normal kind of way. But it's not the way my body is built.

I'm 5'2" and truly look and feel my best at around a size 8. I'm heavier than that right now, so yes, when I see women who look good at their particular size, it sometimes reminds me that I'm eating poorly and not exercising enough. Would I call it jealousy? Not really. It just reminds me that I'd love to "magically" be at my ideal weight, though of course I know it doesn't happen that way. I have to be willing to change my behaviors . . . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.

Easy for you to say. I’m short fat and ugly

My ex surprised me by sleeping with 4ft 10 chubby gals with no neck. He was a doctor. Believe me some men find it sexy.

I don't think it's sexy as much as 'easy and available'. Quite common to affair down.