Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL dyed her hair chestnut brown for our wedding and looked unbelievable -- easily 10 years younger and radiant. She went straight back to gray afterward and looks old and tired again. My mother dyes her hair using a box, it takes maybe one hour a month and she spends 10 dollars. She says , and I agree, that a woman shouldn't go gray until she is totally white. At that point it looks dignified. But the salt and pepper look on a woman is hideous.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to hair color. It's about matching skin tone. Ask a professional. You hair color is supposed to compliment your skin tone, not work against it making you look pale, or just off.

Some people look beautiful with gray hair and others do not. It's the same with color. If you try to pull off a blonde that doesn't compliment your skin tone it won't be flattering.

Each person still has the right to color or not--whatever works for them. No absolutes. It just doesn't work that way.

Most don't.

You sound so dim with your straw man constructions: "each person still has the right to color or not." Of course they have the right to color or not. That isn't the topic here.

I am guessing you don't have the kind of job where a woman's appearance matters in this way, though. You choose to believe that if you aren't bothered by others' negative perception of your gray hair, everything is OK! Actually, though, it matters, professionally speaking, for many women. Being happy with yourself is great, but even you have to acknowledge that the way you choose to present yourself to the world influences the way others treat you, to an extent.

You might be surprised at the title I hold. The way you, PP, present yourself (calling others dim and making belittling remarks) is far from professional in this woman's eyes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Yes, actually, if 90 out of a 100 people told me that my hair wasn't flattering, I would change it. For sure. Most women would, I think.

And my point is that the vast majority of people do NOT find gray hair attractive on women. Your friends won't tell you this, but anonymous posters will. When I ask questions on this site, I do it because I value the honest (sometimes harsh) responses. And that is why I give honest responses myself.

I do not tell women I know in real life that their gray is aging them in an unattractive way.

I know a few older women who look terrible with brown hair. It’s clearly fake and they absolutely do not look better coloring their hair. At some point you need to embrace the gray or look like a clown.

Anonymous wrote:Men have complimented me on my gray hair. They never complimented me on my highlighted blonde/brown hair (professionally done, looked great).

Men compliment my grandma because she is petite and cute and high energy, and she dresses beautifully and genuinely makes people feel good.

But none of those men find her sexy.

Anonymous wrote:I guess it comes down to whether you'd like to be thought of as attractive in a traditional, sexual way (by both sexes) or in a "I'm attracted to her brave personality" by only women, because men will not prefer it.

Now we're going to get a flurry of posts by women convinced that men think their gray hair is attractive in a sexual (not kooky fun grandma) way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL dyed her hair chestnut brown for our wedding and looked unbelievable -- easily 10 years younger and radiant. She went straight back to gray afterward and looks old and tired again. My mother dyes her hair using a box, it takes maybe one hour a month and she spends 10 dollars. She says , and I agree, that a woman shouldn't go gray until she is totally white. At that point it looks dignified. But the salt and pepper look on a woman is hideous.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to hair color. It's about matching skin tone. Ask a professional. You hair color is supposed to compliment your skin tone, not work against it making you look pale, or just off.

Some people look beautiful with gray hair and others do not. It's the same with color. If you try to pull off a blonde that doesn't compliment your skin tone it won't be flattering.

Each person still has the right to color or not--whatever works for them. No absolutes. It just doesn't work that way.

Most don't.

You sound so dim with your straw man constructions: "each person still has the right to color or not." Of course they have the right to color or not. That isn't the topic here.

I am guessing you don't have the kind of job where a woman's appearance matters in this way, though. You choose to believe that if you aren't bothered by others' negative perception of your gray hair, everything is OK! Actually, though, it matters, professionally speaking, for many women. Being happy with yourself is great, but even you have to acknowledge that the way you choose to present yourself to the world influences the way others treat you, to an extent.

Men have complimented me on my gray hair. They never complimented me on my highlighted blonde/brown hair (professionally done, looked great).

I guess it comes down to whether you'd like to be thought of as attractive in a traditional, sexual way (by both sexes) or in a "I'm attracted to her brave personality" by only women, because men will not prefer it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Yes, actually, if 90 out of a 100 people told me that my hair wasn't flattering, I would change it. For sure. Most women would, I think.

And my point is that the vast majority of people do NOT find gray hair attractive on women. Your friends won't tell you this, but anonymous posters will. When I ask questions on this site, I do it because I value the honest (sometimes harsh) responses. And that is why I give honest responses myself.

I do not tell women I know in real life that their gray is aging them in an unattractive way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

You are not being “honest” or “kind”. You’ve never seen any of these women. You have no idea what their hair looks like. Hopefully, they have enough self-confidence not to care about what an insecure, bitter woman thinks about the color of their hair. Those are my kind of people.

For the record, there are multiple anti-gray posters. I'm the one who asked if that woman thought it was a compliment, and that was my last post.

Very much so

I have always respected my mom for going grey and not dying it. Her hair looks amazing. I have been with her in public many times when someone has stopped her to ask her if she dyed it that way or if it was natural. Some of you are so hateful and I’m going to assume it’s because you resent having to spend hours at the salon every six weeks to get your hair dyed..,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

You are not being “honest” or “kind”. You’ve never seen any of these women. You have no idea what their hair looks like. Hopefully, they have enough self-confidence not to care about what an insecure, bitter woman thinks about the color of their hair. Those are my kind of people.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL dyed her hair chestnut brown for our wedding and looked unbelievable -- easily 10 years younger and radiant. She went straight back to gray afterward and looks old and tired again. My mother dyes her hair using a box, it takes maybe one hour a month and she spends 10 dollars. She says , and I agree, that a woman shouldn't go gray until she is totally white. At that point it looks dignified. But the salt and pepper look on a woman is hideous.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to hair color. It's about matching skin tone. Ask a professional. You hair color is supposed to compliment your skin tone, not work against it making you look pale, or just off.

Some people look beautiful with gray hair and others do not. It's the same with color. If you try to pull off a blonde that doesn't compliment your skin tone it won't be flattering.

Each person still has the right to color or not--whatever works for them. No absolutes. It just doesn't work that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.