Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Don't care about infertility struggles.
2. Don't care about doormats who won't DO something to
address their problems.
3. Tired of the SN Trump Card.

NP here. I am enraged by all the free stuff SN parents get that have nothing to do withy their child's SN. I can kinda see the free PT/OT/Speech maybe, but my very wealthy friend also gets FOR FREE from the county: preschool withh bus service, 42 hours/week nanny, Medicaid and food stamps. FOR FREE. And the nanny does her laundry and watches her NT kids too!!

Uh, wha? Food stamps is a means-based program, as is Medicaid -- if they are indeed "very wealthy" then they wouldn't be eligible for those programs. And I've never heard of a free nanny, no way. Maybe an aid in the classroom? If her child is eligible for a free special needs preschool and full-time aid, you shouldn't be enraged or envious...it means her child is quite disabled.

It's all true. The means test for Medicaid/food stamps is done ON THE KID, who has no assets. All his copays and RX's are paid by Medicaid, and his food is bought with food stamps. In addition to preschool five days a week, his mom is allowed 42 hours of nanny care paid. She does not work, has two NT kids, lives in a 6000sf house and drives a large luxury SUV. Her SN child walks, talks, eats, and is potty trained, he is just delayed pretty significantly. I don't see why she needs a tax payer paid nanny because of that.

This is 100% false (and I work for SNAP - that's the name, it hasn't been called food stamps for years), the means test is done on the household, not just hte chilid. amps). T

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some animal rescue organizations are in cahoots with puppy mills. Puppies that used to be sold in pet stores are just funneled through shady "rescue" organizations now. The puppy mills haven't disappeared even though you mostly can't buy puppies at stores any more.

I don't like it when I hear people brag about "rescuing" yet have no idea where this convenient supply of dogs comes from, unless they're rescuing pit bulls or chihuahuas.

OMG. This hadn't occurred to me. You could be right!

That is where they send the extras they cant sell. or the oops pregnancies that are not purebred. I know several breeders with strong ties to the rescue world.

A responsible breeder is totally different than a puppy mill. Any breeder I know who is connected to the rescue world is someone who actually does rescue, not put their dogs into rescue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

interesting. i've never thought of this.

I've done all 3 - SAHM, WOHM, WFHM. I don't see this as hypocrisy. When I was a SAHM, I had already had a good career. I decided to devote some time to my kids, both for my sanity sake and the well being of my family. Regardless of the parent's work status, a good parent helps their kids do well in school.

Do you have this same opinion of SAHD? I guess your opinion of SAHD is that they are losers.

Yeah, you're a professional SAHM. Yuck.

LOL. PP here. I went back to work to fund my kids' college savings accts so that both my DS and DD will have a chance at a college education and have life choices. They loved it when I stayed at home and volunteered at their schools. But, they also like that we can afford to go on vacation. We've had lots of discussions on why mom stayed at home for a while and then went back to work. My DD will see value in doing both, and that thankfully, women have more options today.

Why so much hate to SAHM? Did something happen to you? Wow. So much animosity. I think therapy is in order.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that, except in very limited examples, white people should not adopt transracially. However well meaning, they usually are not doing a very good job in helping the kids form a cultural identity. Going to culture camp once a year, and putting some artwork in the kid's room just aren't enough.

So the kids would be better off wherever they were before adoption?

I know a number of white families that have adopted kids of other races, and the kids are absolutely thriving.

In some cases, yes they would. Also, in many places, there are local families willing and able to adopt the children, but Americans (agencies and adoptive parents) are more lucrative avenues for orphanages and corrupt local officials. and there are many ways to thrive. Lots of transracial adoptees get great grades and are polite, high achievers. It doesn't mean they feel happy, safe or whole.

I would surmise that a lot of adopted children do not feel happy, safe, or whole, irrespective of whether the adoption was cross-racial. Are you also opposed to interracial marriage that results in children?

No, because those kids are being raised within their own cultures and don't have the trauma of adoption to deal with. That is a totally different situation.

Given the divorce rate in America, it is probably not a terribly different situation in a lot of cases. My point is just that childhood is seldom perfect and normalized. Adoption may not be the best solution, but I wouldn't marginalize only cross-racial adoptions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me academically, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

You sound lovely. Luckily, most SAHMs aren't raising hateful children. That cannot be said about you.

Seriously. God forbid her husband or child gets sick one day and she has to take time off of work. Then she'd be a useless nothing, because apparently her only value is earning money.

this makes no sense.

Different poster. Sure it does.

I posted about particular SAHMs, of daughters, who push their daughters overly hard to excel academically.
Not sure how that translates into a woman being a useless nothing because she doesn't work. But way to project your own insecurities.

So, SAHMs should encourage their daughters to slack off. But push the boys. Yeah. That makes total sense. Are these the critical thinking skills you use at work?

You're really not very bright.

Tell that to my perfect SATs!

uh, ok. I'll tell it to your ... oy.
Do you really think I was implying that that's what mothers SHOULD do?
Never mind - this is just - I can't.

What are you prattling on about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

interesting. i've never thought of this.

I've done all 3 - SAHM, WOHM, WFHM. I don't see this as hypocrisy. When I was a SAHM, I had already had a good career. I decided to devote some time to my kids, both for my sanity sake and the well being of my family. Regardless of the parent's work status, a good parent helps their kids do well in school.

Do you have this same opinion of SAHD? I guess your opinion of SAHD is that they are losers.

Yeah, you're a professional SAHM. Yuck.

What is a professional SAHM?

Someone who runs the elementary school PTA like it's a paid job.

In many cases they earn more for the PTA than working people do for their companies. The PTA for one Arlington elementary earned $300,000 last year. Not bad for someone you vilify. I say take female brainpower and harness it or the public good. Yes, I have always worked

So if you're that driven, just be balls to the wall and get paid for it. None of this cloaking it with, "Oh, I SAH for the CHILDREN....."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me academically, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

You sound lovely. Luckily, most SAHMs aren't raising hateful children. That cannot be said about you.

Seriously. God forbid her husband or child gets sick one day and she has to take time off of work. Then she'd be a useless nothing, because apparently her only value is earning money.

this makes no sense.

Different poster. Sure it does.

I posted about particular SAHMs, of daughters, who push their daughters overly hard to excel academically.
Not sure how that translates into a woman being a useless nothing because she doesn't work. But way to project your own insecurities.

So, SAHMs should encourage their daughters to slack off. But push the boys. Yeah. That makes total sense. Are these the critical thinking skills you use at work?

You're really not very bright.

Tell that to my perfect SATs!

uh, ok. I'll tell it to your ... oy.
Do you really think I was implying that that's what mothers SHOULD do?
Never mind - this is just - I can't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me unnecessarily on the academic front, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

I am a SAHM and my DD is a super achiever academically. I left a well paying job to SAHM because my DH also has a high paying job. And while we were outsourcing everything that we could to make it easier to be an involved parent - we were unable to carve out the amount of time we wanted to spend with our kids. In the end, we decided that the mark of success of a person is not only what they can achieve in their own life but how their kids turn out. So, I quit after I had saved enough to retire. For years we have lived below our means and so I was able to save every cent that I earned.

I would prefer that my DD has the option to make enough money to last a lifetime by working a few years. Why? Because if she ever wants to stay home to raise her family - she has the financial wherewithal to do that. I started saving from when I was 19 years old. My kid is going to do the same. When she marries - she will already be a homeowner as I was.

Yes, I do push my DD to excel academically and aim for male dominated STEM careers - because being a SAHM without stellar education and your own money is not really is a choice and neither is being a WOHM in a dead end, ill paying job, a choice. And my DD is well adjusted and grateful and makes me proud each and every day.

So, regardless of if you are a SAHM or a WOHM - you do what is best for your kids and you make sure that they are financially secure outside of a marriage. A woman must have enough money that she can raise her kids, send them to college, pay for a retirement = without the help of a man. That is a choice you can make for yourself.

Poster you are replying to and I agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that, except in very limited examples, white people should not adopt transracially. However well meaning, they usually are not doing a very good job in helping the kids form a cultural identity. Going to culture camp once a year, and putting some artwork in the kid's room just aren't enough.

So the kids would be better off wherever they were before adoption?

I know a number of white families that have adopted kids of other races, and the kids are absolutely thriving.

In some cases, yes they would. Also, in many places, there are local families willing and able to adopt the children, but Americans (agencies and adoptive parents) are more lucrative avenues for orphanages and corrupt local officials. and there are many ways to thrive. Lots of transracial adoptees get great grades and are polite, high achievers. It doesn't mean they feel happy, safe or whole.

I would surmise that a lot of adopted children do not feel happy, safe, or whole, irrespective of whether the adoption was cross-racial. Are you also opposed to interracial marriage that results in children?

No, because those kids are being raised within their own cultures and don't have the trauma of adoption to deal with. That is a totally different situation.

International adoption is well-intentioned and often results in happy outcomes for both parents and children, but it also is a form of human trafficking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me unnecessarily on the academic front, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

I am a SAHM and my DD is a super achiever academically. I left a well paying job to SAHM because my DH also has a high paying job. And while we were outsourcing everything that we could to make it easier to be an involved parent - we were unable to carve out the amount of time we wanted to spend with our kids. In the end, we decided that the mark of success of a person is not only what they can achieve in their own life but how their kids turn out. So, I quit after I had saved enough to retire. For years we have lived below our means and so I was able to save every cent that I earned.

I would prefer that my DD has the option to make enough money to last a lifetime by working a few years. Why? Because if she ever wants to stay home to raise her family - she has the financial wherewithal to do that. I started saving from when I was 19 years old. My kid is going to do the same. When she marries - she will already be a homeowner as I was.

Yes, I do push my DD to excel academically and aim for male dominated STEM careers - because being a SAHM without stellar education and your own money is not really is a choice and neither is being a WOHM in a dead end, ill paying job, a choice. And my DD is well adjusted and grateful and makes me proud each and every day.

So, regardless of if you are a SAHM or a WOHM - you do what is best for your kids and you make sure that they are financially secure outside of a marriage. A woman must have enough money that she can raise her kids, send them to college, pay for a retirement = without the help of a man. That is a choice you can make for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me academically, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

You sound lovely. Luckily, most SAHMs aren't raising hateful children. That cannot be said about you.

Seriously. God forbid her husband or child gets sick one day and she has to take time off of work. Then she'd be a useless nothing, because apparently her only value is earning money.

this makes no sense.

Different poster. Sure it does.

I posted about particular SAHMs, of daughters, who push their daughters overly hard to excel academically.
Not sure how that translates into a woman being a useless nothing because she doesn't work. But way to project your own insecurities.

So, SAHMs should encourage their daughters to slack off. But push the boys. Yeah. That makes total sense. Are these the critical thinking skills you use at work?

You're really not very bright.

Tell that to my perfect SATs!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me academically, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

You sound lovely. Luckily, most SAHMs aren't raising hateful children. That cannot be said about you.

Seriously. God forbid her husband or child gets sick one day and she has to take time off of work. Then she'd be a useless nothing, because apparently her only value is earning money.

this makes no sense.

Different poster. Sure it does.

I posted about particular SAHMs, of daughters, who push their daughters overly hard to excel academically.
Not sure how that translates into a woman being a useless nothing because she doesn't work. But way to project your own insecurities.

So, SAHMs should encourage their daughters to slack off. But push the boys. Yeah. That makes total sense. Are these the critical thinking skills you use at work?

You're really not very bright.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me academically, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

You sound lovely. Luckily, most SAHMs aren't raising hateful children. That cannot be said about you.

Seriously. God forbid her husband or child gets sick one day and she has to take time off of work. Then she'd be a useless nothing, because apparently her only value is earning money.

this makes no sense.

Different poster. Sure it does.

I posted about particular SAHMs, of daughters, who push their daughters overly hard to excel academically.
Not sure how that translates into a woman being a useless nothing because she doesn't work. But way to project your own insecurities.

So, SAHMs should encourage their daughters to slack off. But push the boys. Yeah. That makes total sense. Are these the critical thinking skills you use at work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a woman who stays home and yet focuses hyper-vigilantly on her daughter's school placement/academics is a hypocrite.

Totally agree. Why encourage your DD to excel academically if her highest goal should be simply to reproduce? Focus on the boys. They have to get jobs someday.

You help all of your kids do their best so that they have choices. Just because I stay at home and it was the right decision for me doesn't mean that I will choose that decision for my daughter. My daughter will make her own decision about work/children when the time comes someday.

And the goal of education is to become learned, to gain knowledge. I think it is dumb that people think the goal of education is just to get a job. People should gain knowledge to widen their fields of opportunity and choice, not just to make you feel like they are worthy. How stupid. I WOH and have been a SAHM, my education taught me that I can do whatever the hell I want.
Take a Seat Now!

You certainly don't sound educated, but whatever.

The goal of education is not only to gain knowledge, but to use that knowledge as a productive member of society. If I were a high school aged daughter of a SAHM who pushed me academically, I'd tell her to look in the mirror.

You sound lovely. Luckily, most SAHMs aren't raising hateful children. That cannot be said about you.

Seriously. God forbid her husband or child gets sick one day and she has to take time off of work. Then she'd be a useless nothing, because apparently her only value is earning money.

this makes no sense.

Different poster. Sure it does.

I posted about particular SAHMs, of daughters, who push their daughters overly hard to excel academically.
Not sure how that translates into a woman being a useless nothing because she doesn't work. But way to project your own insecurities.

Everyone should do their best to excel academically so that they have choices and don't limit themselves from a young age. If a particular woman decides to stay at home to take care of her home and children that's her choice, but at least she would have education and career preparation to fall back on if something happened or if she later decided she wanted to enter the workforce.

Plus, being a SAHP is not a one-time decision; it can be reevaluated and a parent who stayed home when the kids were young may very well choose to return to work when their kids are older. In order to have that option the parent would need a good education whether that's in a traditional "career field" or in the form of some sort of vocational training.

Just because someone chose to be a SAHM doesn't mean her daughter will automatically want to make the same choice, so of course a good mom will want the DD to do well academically so that she has the necessary background to attend either vocational training or a university, giving the young woman options in life so she can make her own decisions to the fullest extent possible. Options are a good thing. Limiting them early is not.

That's only sensible, and not in the least hypocritical.