Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Carpool sticker (not the bumper sticker) for fancy private school.

Being thin at middle age.

Seeing a dermatologist for "non-medical" conditions.

Frequent flier tickets.

Overnight/sleepaway camp.

Totally agree with this!

Anonymous wrote:Carpool sticker (not the bumper sticker) for fancy private school.

Being thin at middle age.

Seeing a dermatologist for "non-medical" conditions.

Frequent flier tickets.

Overnight/sleepaway camp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are examples from own life. I'd say they were unintentional because my parents didn't do them to impress our neighbors or to show off. We didn't own luxury cars or have fancy brand name clothes or jewelry or go on extravagant 2 week vacations, so I grew up thinking we weren't as well off as most people. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned my parents had millions in the bank and that the following things made that obvious to other people in our town even if we kids remained pretty oblivious. I definitely think you could have all of the following as intentional status symbols. Like someone upthread said, there's a difference between old, faded beach stickers from Cape Cod on your ancient Volvo and a brand new OBX sticker on your Suburban.

--You own a boat and your entire family of five can sleep on it (not a yacht or anything show-offy, but you can afford to own it and store it at a marina year-round)
--You own a vacation home where you spend the entire summer (no renters, mom is there with the kids and dad visits on the weekends)--home is not fancy and doesn't have TV, but it's in a nice neighborhood and isn't a tiny cabin
--Your parents paid for private college--no loans or scholarships--and it was done as a matter of course with no consideration as to price when you picked a college

Much like your parents wealth, you missed the point of this thread. Non of that is unintentional.

Anonymous wrote:These are examples from own life. I'd say they were unintentional because my parents didn't do them to impress our neighbors or to show off. We didn't own luxury cars or have fancy brand name clothes or jewelry or go on extravagant 2 week vacations, so I grew up thinking we weren't as well off as most people. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned my parents had millions in the bank and that the following things made that obvious to other people in our town even if we kids remained pretty oblivious. I definitely think you could have all of the following as intentional status symbols. Like someone upthread said, there's a difference between old, faded beach stickers from Cape Cod on your ancient Volvo and a brand new OBX sticker on your Suburban.

--You own a boat and your entire family of five can sleep on it (not a yacht or anything show-offy, but you can afford to own it and store it at a marina year-round)
--You own a vacation home where you spend the entire summer (no renters, mom is there with the kids and dad visits on the weekends)--home is not fancy and doesn't have TV, but it's in a nice neighborhood and isn't a tiny cabin
--Your parents paid for private college--no loans or scholarships--and it was done as a matter of course with no consideration as to price when you picked a college

Much like your parents wealth, you missed the point of this thread. Non of that is unintentional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stupidly expensive strollers. Bonus of you have more than one for whatever scenario you and Larliandra may find yourselves in.

Does this include BOB running strollers?

Only if you don't run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these status symbols seem to indicate the things you see in people who are richer than you. But, what about those things that mark you as richer than others? Does anyone notice those things?

Here's one we haven't beaten to death yet: bed sheets that match. The pillowcase, flat, and fitted are all the same color and pattern. Most of the lower-middle class people that I know generally have sheets that match. I hardly ever see it in the homes of the poor people we know.

Pure white bedsheets are the highest status of all. They are traditional, they are understated but elegant, and they signal that you or the help changes them often to keep that white looking clean and pure. The "hotel sets" sold by various national companies don't really count, although nobody will be able to tell the difference. ("Hotel" anything, like "hotel" flatware, is middle class. Why does anybody need to pretend they're in a hotel to enjoy luxury?) But the real deal are the pure white, high thread-count sheets from Swiss and similar companies.

PP here. The white sheet thing may be an unintentional status symbol for the upper crust, but my point was that having sheets that match at all may be an unintentional status symbol to someone who is low-income. From what I've been reading on this thread, people seem very aware about "upper crust" symbols but maybe might not realize their own privilege. It's kind of interesting how adept people are at reading the code of the class above them. And also how little we see of our own advantages.

Here are some others: having a car. At all. Living in a home that is legal or to code. Throwing stuff out is a privilege. Most of the poor people I know don't ever throw anything out, almost no matter how broken or damaged it is. You just never know what might be useful later. Buying bulk is another privilege. When you are very poor you may only have enough money to buy a single roll at a time. That actually costs more, but if you don't have the resources to front the cost for 24 rolls, then you're sort of stuck. So, for some people, a Costco membership is an unintentional status symbol.

PP, in keeping with what you're saying, I only recently realized what a privilege using eBay is. You have to have a credit card and Internet access. Same thing with being a Peace Corps volunteer. It means you don't have crushing credit card debt and aren't a vital part of your extended family's well-being (through babysitting, financial contribution, etc.).

I think it was The Nation that had an article on how expensive and time intensive poverty is. I think unintentional status symbols are more fundamental than we of the DCUM community would believe.

I have friends without post-graduate education and keep running into how different my job search is from theirs. I've had my masters for nearly ten years. I don't even think about it. Colleagues from my last position claim they are stuck (in an office we all hated) because they don't have an advanced degree.

Having a passport, a bank account, a voter registration card...all of these are (SADLY!) not routine items in a lot of households. I'm always caught short when I hear this, but there it is.

Thanks for the eye-opener, PP.