Honestly, the reason why you are getting so much shit and "advise' is because all of these women live in fear of their men leaving them - you are their worst nightmare.

Haha. Nice try, but married men rarely leave their wives for their skanks.

OP, did you expect so much uproar, detective work, and judgment when you originally posted here? Honestly, the reason why you are getting so much shit and "advise' is because all of these women live in fear of their men leaving them - you are their worst nightmare.

And here I thought the OP was just a lying narcissistic... now she's talking to herself... guess she's a nutcase, too.

OP, did you expect so much uproar, detective work, and judgment when you originally posted here? Honestly, the reason why you are getting so much shit and "advise' is because all of these women live in fear of their men leaving them - you are their worst nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Huh? Of course I wouldn't stake a claim to his assets. I don't know why you'd even think that? Someone asked if I would go to the funeral and I just said I'm not sure. "

I've attended several funerals where the mistress was present and sat with the family.

Several, huh? And the wife knows who is sitting next to her in the front row? Not in my world. That stuff don't fly.

I remember Mitterand's funeral and the amazement of the American public that the wife and mistress attended together. Second families aren't all that rare in America, but we pretend they don't exist. It would be smarter to set up safeguards to protect all of those involved.

What about a concubine agreement? Kinda like a pre-nup. Specifies how much money can be spent on the OW. How many nights a week the DH can be there. What happens if the OW becomes pregnant.

How the heck do you know that? There *are* women out there, even in their twenties, who know that they absolutely do not want to have children. So they date unavailable men or divorced men with children.

All the women (and men) that I know who do not want children date other men (and women) who also do not want children.

The only ones I know who date unavailable men are those who have low self-esteem. You know, like the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
She has a somewhat formalized pecuniary relationship with her guy. Many, many women go after an affluent professional for the same reason. You may not have done so but it would be naive to think that is not the motivation of many women especially in this town.

And many men choose to *marry* them anyway. Please don't equate married couples with what the Op is doing. It isn't the same thing. At all. Op's boyfriend already has a wife and it ain't her.

So if the guy who is providing for OP were not married, it would change your opinion of her? Fault the husband by all means but don't blame the OP for doing what millions of women do when they marry a guy because he has money. Not just in the US but pretty much all over the world.

If Op was just single and just sitting back and letting her rich boyfriend support her, I think that would be unwise. He could dump her tomorrow and where would she be? If Op was married to the guy and they, as a committed couple, decided that it would be best for Op to stay home that would be a team decision on both of their parts.

And if the wife decided that she did not want to work because she would rather stay at home although she has no children because her husband can provide for the sort of lifestyle she expects that would make her a ......... by your definition?

If the wife decided unilaterally (without her husband's agreement) that she was not going to work and live off her husband's income, that would make her a very poor team player and would quite possibly be grounds for divorce.

A poor team player? Hmm, we have a lot of poor team players in this country. Though in actual fact, OP's relationship with her guy is basically the same without the marriage certificate.

Exactly the same except for: The marriage certificate, the kids, the house, the legal rights, the joint accounts, the life insurance policies, the family get togethers, the holiday celebrations, the wedding pictures, the social circle.......actually not all that similar. Sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

She already said she didn't want to because she doesn't want kids.

She said that as a way to save face, nothing more: "Of course he would marry me, except that I don't want kids so he was stuck marrying a frigid woman who did."

How the heck do you know that? There *are* women out there, even in their twenties, who know that they absolutely do not want to have children. So they date unavailable men or divorced men with children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She already said she didn't want to because she doesn't want kids.

She said that as a way to save face, nothing more: "Of course he would marry me, except that I don't want kids so he was stuck marrying a frigid woman who did."

A frigid woman who only has sex because that's what she has to do to get babies. Lol.

Not unheard of, PP. Especially if it started after she had the kids. Go to the relationship forum and listen to the complaints of women who have lost interest in sex and men complaining their wives don't want to have sex after having children.

Anonymous wrote:OP, would he pay for grad school if you wanted to go?

I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:

She already said she didn't want to because she doesn't want kids.

She said that as a way to save face, nothing more: "Of course he would marry me, except that I don't want kids so he was stuck marrying a frigid woman who did."

A frigid woman who only has sex because that's what she has to do to get babies. Lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She has a somewhat formalized pecuniary relationship with her guy. Many, many women go after an affluent professional for the same reason. You may not have done so but it would be naive to think that is not the motivation of many women especially in this town.

And many men choose to *marry* them anyway. Please don't equate married couples with what the Op is doing. It isn't the same thing. At all. Op's boyfriend already has a wife and it ain't her.

So if the guy who is providing for OP were not married, it would change your opinion of her? Fault the husband by all means but don't blame the OP for doing what millions of women do when they marry a guy because he has money. Not just in the US but pretty much all over the world.

If Op was just single and just sitting back and letting her rich boyfriend support her, I think that would be unwise. He could dump her tomorrow and where would she be? If Op was married to the guy and they, as a committed couple, decided that it would be best for Op to stay home that would be a team decision on both of their parts.

And if the wife decided that she did not want to work because she would rather stay at home although she has no children because her husband can provide for the sort of lifestyle she expects that would make her a ......... by your definition?

If the wife decided unilaterally (without her husband's agreement) that she was not going to work and live off her husband's income, that would make her a very poor team player and would quite possibly be grounds for divorce.

A poor team player? Hmm, we have a lot of poor team players in this country. Though in actual fact, OP's relationship with her guy is basically the same without the marriage certificate.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, if your boyfriend divorced his wife, would you want to become his fiance or future wife?

She already said she didn't want to because she doesn't want kids.

OP is being disingenuous because if she could marry him she would.

How do you know what she thinks? Or would do?

She is in the relationship mainly for the material comforts it provides. Marrying him offers a much greater likelihood of it being more permanent.

She'd totally marry him. Bullshit, OP.

Ha. She'd marry him in a heartbeat AND have his kids.

OP, would he pay for grad school if you wanted to go?

Anonymous wrote:"Huh? Of course I wouldn't stake a claim to his assets. I don't know why you'd even think that? Someone asked if I would go to the funeral and I just said I'm not sure. "

I've attended several funerals where the mistress was present and sat with the family.

Several, huh? And the wife knows who is sitting next to her in the front row? Not in my world. That stuff don't fly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your boyfriend divorced his wife, would you want to become his fiance or future wife?

She already said she didn't want to because she doesn't want kids.

OP is being disingenuous because if she could marry him she would.

How do you know what she thinks? Or would do?

She is in the relationship mainly for the material comforts it provides. Marrying him offers a much greater likelihood of it being more permanent.

She'd totally marry him. Bullshit, OP.