Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 17:21     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:We just found 2 gifts that my FIL apparently did not want hidden in the back of our linen closet. (We did not gift them to him.) I have no words.


Rewrap them and give them to him next year
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 14:02     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
We just found 2 gifts that my FIL apparently did not want hidden in the back of our linen closet. (We did not gift them to him.) I have no words.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 10:56     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents insist on mashed rutabaga in addition to all the actual good sides of a turkey dinner, so my house presently smells like dirt and ass.


And people put me on blast when I say I close my kitchen to others. This is precisely why I don’t let anyone in my kitchen


I was totally fine with them making it, as long as it was a day or two before and not taking up the kitchen the day of. People are welcome to make anything in my kitchen, as long as they stay out of my way and clean up.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 08:18     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents insist on mashed rutabaga in addition to all the actual good sides of a turkey dinner, so my house presently smells like dirt and ass.


And people put me on blast when I say I close my kitchen to others. This is precisely why I don’t let anyone in my kitchen
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 23:54     Subject: Re:Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Please include every last detail about all weirdness centered around food- I loved it last year and find it endlessly fascinating.


+1 MILLION - I may go search for that thread for a redux.


We went to my cousins house to celebrate. She makes the worst food but claims it’s so amazing. No one eats any of it, they just push it to the side and then throw it in the trash. She always packs leftovers for everyone, but I ditch mine. And she always brags to everyone about how everyone loves her food
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2023 16:17     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Petty vent- Dh just cannot get gifts for people. A coworker’s husband had an accident (not life-threatening) and I wanted to get her something small. I was debating a restaurant gift card for $25, flowers, or something else. Dh goes out and gets a $75 gift card. Wtf. It’s just so much for an acquaintance. He does this with all gifts. It’s always the wrong thing and then takes me more time to fix. I’m not into gifts on holidays so luckily he never has to buy me anything.


$75 is pretty close to what food, delivery & tip cost. Yes, it's a lot but I'm sure they'll appreciate it.


+1. I think because you're not into gifts on holidays that you don't realize what proper gifts cost. Admit that you're wrong on this one and use this as an opportunity to learn from your husband, who knows more than you here.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2023 16:11     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Family does not understand why we try to stick to our kids’ routines when we visit for holidays. “Can’t you just skip his nap today?” “Would it be so bad if bedtime was at 9 instead of 7?” I mean, if you are volunteering to be the one to handle the overtired toddler for the rest of the day, then sure, let’s just skip nap time.
Or they don’t understand why we don’t want to go hang out in a bar in the middle of the day with small children. Like no, my 19 month old will not be cool sitting there for several hours while you watch the game.


Then stay home.


Wow. Who knew that visiting family required you to turn over all parenting and scheduling decisions to the will of the group?

See ya at 6 am, when my kids wake up and want breakfast! We're doing that together, too, right?


Well, hopefully you're making extra breakfast, because then of course I'll join you.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2023 15:51     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My FIL just lost his shit over a perceived slight to his conservative values/trump. My husband felt the need to go to toe to toe with him. Husband eventually left the room but when our 11 year old told FIL that what we needed was Kamala Harris as president, I thought that he might have a heart attack. He yelled at my kids for being involved ing the conversation- my MIL cried- he apologized. My kids were involved because they were in the room when he lost his marbles. What a mess and we have 3 more days.


I feel you - this sounds like something my dad would do. His conservative principles, his politics, and his nationalism have always taken priority over his relationships with people, even his own family. He takes it as a personal insult when someone disagrees with him or expresses a different opinion. This is why I don't really enjoy visiting him or talking with him, and neither do his grandkids.


Maybe next time your husband can be the bigger person and not respond. He fell for it.


Ugh. Why do the reasonable people always have to be the bigger person. It's so one-sided. The trumpsters love to bait and everyone else has to play nice? Nope. Someone needs to shut them down. Being cordial doesn't work.


+1

I yell and scream right on back about how horrible trump and MAGA are. I’m sick of just sitting there and letting them rant nonsense.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2023 20:03     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Petty AF but I sent my niece something quite expensive and thoughtful for Christmas and I haven't heard a word from her about it. I asked her mother (my sister) if she liked it and got "She loved it".

Wouldn't you think my sister would tell her daughter to text me a thank you? Niece is home from college, so plenty of opportunity...........


I would be so annoyed. You may need to text the niece to get it off your chest, she is college age and should know better. "Hey, how do you like the ___? Would love to hear, I thought it would be perfect for you"


Yeah. It's a teachable moment. Sad that you have to do it, but she'll be better for knowing how important it is to say thank you.




It is her mother’s teachable moment. Next year send a less expensive gift, don’t be that Aunt she’ll avoid because you make her feel guilty. I still nag my 24 year old to text a personalized thank-you, with a photo if appropriate.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2023 17:13     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:My parents know their coffee is swill and never say a word about me taking their car to the local place down the street whenever I visit. Until this last trip, when my mom screamed at my (behind a door, thankfully) for making them look like post hosts in front of my sibling's new squeeze.

The way for them to avoid that in the future is to not buy garbage coffee.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2023 17:11     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Petty AF but I sent my niece something quite expensive and thoughtful for Christmas and I haven't heard a word from her about it. I asked her mother (my sister) if she liked it and got "She loved it".

Wouldn't you think my sister would tell her daughter to text me a thank you? Niece is home from college, so plenty of opportunity...........


If your niece is old enough to have a phone, you need to leave your sister out of it and reach out to your niece directly to ask if she liked the gift. That will hopefully prompt her to thank you. If you want your niece to act in a mature manner, you need to treat her like someone you have a direct relationship with. Talk to her, not about her, unless she is not old enough to have a phone.


If I sent a niece or nephew an expensive present and didn't hear from them, I would worry that they didn't actually like it. I'd want to check before telling someone I was disappointed not to get a thank-you ("I know you meant well, but you keep sending pierced earrings and her ears aren't pierced. ")
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2023 14:43     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
My parents know their coffee is swill and never say a word about me taking their car to the local place down the street whenever I visit. Until this last trip, when my mom screamed at my (behind a door, thankfully) for making them look like post hosts in front of my sibling's new squeeze.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 22:38     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:Petty AF but I sent my niece something quite expensive and thoughtful for Christmas and I haven't heard a word from her about it. I asked her mother (my sister) if she liked it and got "She loved it".

Wouldn't you think my sister would tell her daughter to text me a thank you? Niece is home from college, so plenty of opportunity...........


If your niece is old enough to have a phone, you need to leave your sister out of it and reach out to your niece directly to ask if she liked the gift. That will hopefully prompt her to thank you. If you want your niece to act in a mature manner, you need to treat her like someone you have a direct relationship with. Talk to her, not about her, unless she is not old enough to have a phone.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 13:33     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Petty AF but I sent my niece something quite expensive and thoughtful for Christmas and I haven't heard a word from her about it. I asked her mother (my sister) if she liked it and got "She loved it".

Wouldn't you think my sister would tell her daughter to text me a thank you? Niece is home from college, so plenty of opportunity...........


I would be so annoyed. You may need to text the niece to get it off your chest, she is college age and should know better. "Hey, how do you like the ___? Would love to hear, I thought it would be perfect for you"


Yeah. It's a teachable moment. Sad that you have to do it, but she'll be better for knowing how important it is to say thank you.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 12:06     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:Petty AF but I sent my niece something quite expensive and thoughtful for Christmas and I haven't heard a word from her about it. I asked her mother (my sister) if she liked it and got "She loved it".

Wouldn't you think my sister would tell her daughter to text me a thank you? Niece is home from college, so plenty of opportunity...........


I would be so annoyed. You may need to text the niece to get it off your chest, she is college age and should know better. "Hey, how do you like the ___? Would love to hear, I thought it would be perfect for you"