Anonymous wrote:A June born redshirter is 14 months older than the youngest. Thats still far larger than a few days and very significant in the younger year groups.

Anonymous wrote:It is not just a few days older.

A redshired child with a March birthday in a district with a August 31st cut off is 17 Months older than the youngest child in the class.

Tell me with a straight face that a low income 4 year old faces no disadvanges being compared to a middle class 6 year old in the same kindergarden class!

Anonymous wrote:It is not just a few days older.

A redshired child with a March birthday in a district with a August 31st cut off is 17 Months older than the youngest child in the class.

Tell me with a straight face that a low income 4 year old faces no disadvanges being compared to a middle class 6 year old in the same kindergarden class!

Anonymous wrote:
The definition of a gaslighting manipulative narssacist is hurting another person while telling them that they are over reacting and that their suffering is no big deal.

Redshiting parents purpously went against guildlines and put their overgrown child next to a young age appropiate one and put them in a disadvantaged position.

Its gross and the practice should be banned !

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers look at kids and say, hey, that kid is mature and smart. They don't say, hey, that kid is 6 months older than my class average, they must just be average for their age.

This is the truth, and it's why people hold their kids back. If you don't like it, don't do it. But realize this is exactly what's happening from K-12.

I never said anything about impressing teachers. Teachers are human just like everyone else, and therefore, do not always judge objectively. If a young student is doing poorly, it's probably true that none of their teachers will say, "That kid is much younger than my class average. They're not lazy or dumb, just younger." But that kid should be able to gain self-closure in knowing that this is the simple truth after some soul-searching. If an old student is doing poorly, they'll have no such comforting thing to tell themselves. It's also true that teachers won't say "Hey that kid is 6 months older than my class average, they must just be average for their age", but that old student who's excelling is probably going to have a hard time feeling good about themselves knowing that they're excelling, not because they're smarter, but simply because they are older.

I think if that's how my child looked at their success or lack thereof, I'd be calling a therapist stat. That's not normal.

You're right. That wouldn't be normal. That would be very abnormal. But it would be abnormal in a good way. Part of maturity is realizing that what you think of yourself is more much important than what others think of you. For instance, I don't envy movie stars the way I used to, because I know that I've worked harder and am way more knowledgeable than many of them. For me, knowing that is enough to make me happy, even though I'll get anywhere near the popularity they have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers look at kids and say, hey, that kid is mature and smart. They don't say, hey, that kid is 6 months older than my class average, they must just be average for their age.

This is the truth, and it's why people hold their kids back. If you don't like it, don't do it. But realize this is exactly what's happening from K-12.

I never said anything about impressing teachers. Teachers are human just like everyone else, and therefore, do not always judge objectively. If a young student is doing poorly, it's probably true that none of their teachers will say, "That kid is much younger than my class average. They're not lazy or dumb, just younger." But that kid should be able to gain self-closure in knowing that this is the simple truth after some soul-searching. If an old student is doing poorly, they'll have no such comforting thing to tell themselves. It's also true that teachers won't say "Hey that kid is 6 months older than my class average, they must just be average for their age", but that old student who's excelling is probably going to have a hard time feeling good about themselves knowing that they're excelling, not because they're smarter, but simply because they are older.

I think if that's how my child looked at their success or lack thereof, I'd be calling a therapist stat. That's not normal.

Anonymous wrote:Or the public education system whose role includes enabling socio economic mobility could close the loophole and ban redshirting. True special needs kids will still get their legally entitled extra resources to help them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s gotta just be the one person on here, right? The one who talks about the shame of being the oldest and… succeeding? The one who talks about following some “rules”?

There are no hard and fast rules on this and I don’t know anyone who thinks about their age vis a vis their school performance! I hope your child doesn’t. I really also hope you don’t tell your child, when they do poorly, oh it’s just because Johnny messed up the curve because he’s so much older than you.

There must be someone, some family, in your life, anti-redshirting lady, who really annoys you. Who is smug about their kid’s success, even though you feel it’s unearned because the kid is older than yours. I’m sorry if the mom of the older kid is smug- that’s on her. You’re right to be irritated by that. But you’re wrong to kneecap your own kid by telling them it isn’t fair when s/he does poorly. And I can kind of tell you do that… Sigh. You have a good kid! It all comes out in the wash! Take a deep breath. Your kid is amazing and good and just celebrate them without twisting yourself into knots about his “competitors “- think of them as “friends “ who happen to do well.

Didn’t you read Malcom Gladwells book outiers? It’s proven that the oldest kids in a group are likely to be higher achievers. Most Oxford university students are born in Autumn ( no redshirting allowed in the UK). Most elite youth hockey players in Canada where born in the first 3 months of the year, cut off is the new calendar year. Redshirting increases that gap.

It’s very rich of parents who redshirted their kids so benefited from the system to gaslight the rest of us who where hurt from being unfairly compared to artificially created older classmates that we are overreacting to the barriers that you erected.

Were you hurt by this? Was your child? Those are two different things, realize. And as the parent, you have the ability, the obligation actually, to help your kid navigate the unfairness of life. And ok, you think this is unfair. Ok. Nothing I will say will convince you otherwise. But - now what? Life is unfair in so very many ways. Are you mad at children of wealthy families? Neurotypical kids? White kids? Boys? Girls? Kids who love stem?

Please, PP, just lay this down. Your kid deserves a mom who is proud of them - wherever they are and whatever success they’ve achieved. Every redshirting parent has a thing that their kid has that they worry about- all of us do! Just love on your kid, PP - and give yourself a break. You didn’t fail your kid for not redshirting. I swear no one else is thinking about this as much as you.

Actually yes, some of our kids are hurt from it. Because there are some standardized tests that are grade normed vs. age normed but are clearly based on age so some of us who have smart, young for the grade kids do very well for their age but cannot compete with kids a year older who should be in a grade ahead. Your kid isn't smarter, just older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a mid April birthday in a school district with an August 31st cut off. The oldest redshirted kid had a March birthday. He was not “ only a few months older “ he was over a year older.

If a few months age differences is no big deal then why didn’t the redshirters just follow the guidelines and go on time?

Was he proud of himself for outperforming kids as much as 17 months younger than him?

Anonymous wrote:I had a mid April birthday in a school district with an August 31st cut off. The oldest redshirted kid had a March birthday. He was not “ only a few months older “ he was over a year older.

If a few months age differences is no big deal then why didn’t the redshirters just follow the guidelines and go on time?