Interesting questions! I don't think people commenting (a lot of times out of concern!) can pierce the denial of an addict. Glennon Doyle was shocked (allegedly) at her recent anorexia diagnosis, when people had questioned this for years. I am not a fan of Doyle. And I have a softer spot for Jen Hatmaker, I'm not sure why--I guess I see a lot of potential that I am waiting to see filled? I feel she could go deeper, and I hope she does.

I have mixed feelings about all the snarking on Jen’s appearance. On one hand, it feels mean. Yeah, she has some pretty bad misses when she dresses up but overall her daily casual looks are fine. I think the issue is that she’s trying some hair/beauty/fashion influencer stuff and that opens you up to criticism - especially if that’s not your strong suit and you started out as a faith/family influencer and people feel you’ve lost your voice and authenticity.

When it comes to health-related appearance, though - there’s a history of people commenting on various influencers’ demeanor, complexion, weight, etc., and being correct that the person had some serious problems. The dilemma is: at the end of the day, does it make any difference? Does it help that person? Make them think? Or make them even more likely to indulge in unhealthy behaviors?

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what tshirt Tyler wears to weddings.

Dying laughing over here

Same. 😂

Anonymous wrote:True, because it’s even different than a “workaholic” parent, which is a real kind of addiction that is detrimental to any family too, as well as the health of the overextended individual. These online influencers are equal parts work-addicts and dopamine-addicts, the latter from the viewer-engagement. Jen might also have some CBD/alcohol dependencies on top of all that based on what she shares publicly; what she’s using privately is almost certainly increased. Her mind and body cannot be healthy with all that combined.

It is probably not too much of a stretch to say that research will reveal in the future that social media addictions and influencer lifestyle had different but equal long term negative life effects on the users as did straight up drug and alcohol abuse for those addicts.

I suggested a while back that the clothes often look tacky. Or "too young". Some readers found that offensive or ageist. Personally I don't like the happy hooker look for any age. It looks sad and desperate at 50.
Jens face looks so different from her earlier, softer prettiness. I think it's cheek implants- they are crowding out her eyes when she smiles. This must be hard for her kids to see. I wish for her sake and her family that she could step back and regroup.
As far as Tyler's T shirts, is their anything more ridiculous than a grown up man that has to advertise who he is on his shirt? He lost me at the Brilliant, Black, etc one. Reminds me of the shirts out there for little girls that say things like " I am strong", "Fierce", etc. There is more to a book than it's cover.

She talks to her kids all the time. My kids would immediately tell me Mom that dress is too short. Or Mom those boots are a lot. They're too much. Or that the outfit looks too young. Not to be mean, but to be helpful. Even if friends won’t speak up, kids will!! Maybe her children just aren’t paying attention to moms socials and what she’s wearing to work conferences.

True, because it’s even different than a “workaholic” parent, which is a real kind of addiction that is detrimental to any family too, as well as the health of the overextended individual. These online influencers are equal parts work-addicts and dopamine-addicts, the latter from the viewer-engagement. Jen might also have some CBD/alcohol dependencies on top of all that based on what she shares publicly; what she’s using privately is almost certainly increased. Her mind and body cannot be healthy with all that combined.

Anonymous wrote:Came here to same the same thing. Both of my parents were addicts and i saw an up close account of how that life plays out with an early death and funerals with only family because as it turns out, addicts don't have friends.

Interesting to think about how children of people like Dooce, Jen Hatmaker, Rachel and Dave Hollis, etc. might describe their own parents as social media addicts someday, and what that was like for them growing up in a home where the parents were addicted, not to substances, but to their public persona and constantly needing material and photos and products to appease the public… often at the expense of real life relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most adults in America period cope with alcohol or drugs (weed, coke, psychedelics, ketamine, etc.). Very few holistically healthy adults exist. And then the position corrupts. You cannot remain healthy by putting on an act nearly every day for the world to cruelly attack. No amount of positive praise can completely drown out the scathing critiques that all influencers deal with.


Some celebrities can cope by ignoring the public outside of work but for influencers, your whole life is work.

Bullshit. If this is your reality, find a healthier social circle. I mean this sincerely.

Came here to same the same thing. Both of my parents were addicts and i saw an up close account of how that life plays out with an early death and funerals with only family because as it turns out, addicts don't have friends. As a kid I just decided that life wasn't for me and have spent my entire life cultivating an existence that isn't dependent on substances. It required me finding new friend groups in college and in early adulthood often but it wasn't difficult. I'm now 50 and none of my friends use drugs or abuse alcohol (I had one friend in my adult life who was an alcoholic and she died at 40). If you're under the assumption that most adults in America cope with alcohol or drugs, please, please find a healthier social circle as pp mentioned. There are SO MANY holistically healthy adults. My life hasn't been a walk in the park and dealing with two addict parents was extremely difficult, but I never once thought that my life would be better if I became an addict myself.

The only question anyone is asking about those boots is “why?” 😩

Umm.

No one is asking about your boots, Big Sis.

Anonymous wrote:

I wonder what tshirt Tyler wears to weddings.

Dying laughing over here

“Black love is real.”

“My girlfriend wants a ring too ”

“My math teacher molested me. [suicide hotline number]”



Sorry to anyone who’s offended.

I wonder what tshirt Tyler wears to weddings.

Dying laughing over here

I lost a best friend when I called her out for being a mistress

I never, ever understood the appeal of messing around with a married man. I mean, I believe most of the guys string along the women and tell them that they will leave their wives. But, at the risk of sounding harsh, I think the gals who get into these relationships are troubled and have some mental issues.

Good for you for being a true friend and trying to pull your friend into reality.

For as brash as she claims them to be, I would not be surprised if everyone in her inner circle is walking on egg shells about Tyler

I've known a couple of influencers first-hand (courtesy of life in Southern California) and as combative and provocative as they were online, they were practically shrinking violets in real life. I would see them at gatherings and they were almost withdrawn and not engaging with people.

It is very very telling that Tyler seems to have no black friends at all. Black folks can spot his schtick a mile away.