Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ stop being so aggressive against people who disagree with you. There are people with examples on both ends of whether others care. I said that people in my world would care but that’s in my personal sphere. At work, you work with whomever you need to and so a different case. Stop being so aggressive with people who disagree with you. Clearly people aren’t going to change their perspective just because you say so.

The problem you have is that you assume all people agree with you. Several of us here wouldn't care. I wouldn't. My friend's husband cheated and now he is gone. I spend no time thinking about him or his being a cheater. She is with someone else now, the world continues spinning on its axis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. You definitely are the one in need of therapy if you think an affair is just a bit of sex that hurts nobody. It’s the way you justify your actions. If you have been blindsided and thrust into PTSD you would understand. It’s a worse feeling than a parent’s death. There are entire practices devoted to affair/infidelity PTSD. If you have a marriage where you do not live your spouse and it was a “settled” thing you did for finances or family/societal expectation, of course you would have zero empathy or idea how that feels when it’s done to you. And these aren’t situations where there is no sex at home, quite the opposite.

I've been blindsided by my DH's adultery and no, it's not worse than a parent's death. I'd live through dozens of affairs before I would get over the death of my mom.

Anonymous wrote:^ stop being so aggressive against people who disagree with you. There are people with examples on both ends of whether others care. I said that people in my world would care but that’s in my personal sphere. At work, you work with whomever you need to and so a different case. Stop being so aggressive with people who disagree with you. Clearly people aren’t going to change their perspective just because you say so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^+1000
In my world, people would definitely care . . . where do people live that they think their friends would not care about a spouse destroying their spouse and family, let alone another spouse and family?

Also, to people who said kids don't care - that may be true about young kids WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG, but just read all over these threads about the teens and young adults who care a lot and hold resentment about the cheating parent and say that it damages their relationship forever, if they even speak to the cheating parent.

Of course your friends care about you getting cheated on. But come on, the world does not consist of your friends. The world mostly doesn't care.

Anonymous wrote:DP. You definitely are the one in need of therapy if you think an affair is just a bit of sex that hurts nobody. It’s the way you justify your actions. If you have been blindsided and thrust into PTSD you would understand. It’s a worse feeling than a parent’s death. There are entire practices devoted to affair/infidelity PTSD. If you have a marriage where you do not live your spouse and it was a “settled” thing you did for finances or family/societal expectation, of course you would have zero empathy or idea how that feels when it’s done to you. And these aren’t situations where there is no sex at home, quite the opposite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go into it with assumption that the betrayed spouse will in fact destroy your life and haunt you for the rest of it. Tell everyone that knows you.

If you are willing to take that risk and the risk your spouse will divorce you when he/she tells them, then by all means play ball.

You seriously overestimate how much people care. Adultery is common. A betrayed spouse has very little power to "destroy your life" simply because the number of people who'd care is very, very small. Like her parents+sister small. Seriously. Nobody cares. A betrayed spouse who tells "everyone that knows you" makes herself look pathetic and small. You have no idea how little people care. I mean he can get divorced today, remarry tomorrow and five years from now no one will remember. Get some perspective. I say this as a wronged spouse.

You are wrong. Most people care. Like, the American people would never elect a man who cheated on his wife because they care too much, especially the conservatives. Just like how when Bill Clinton was caught, his approval ratings went down and he was thrown out of office his second term. And you never hear people chanting "tiger" anymore on the golf course, since he was shunned since the cheating.

Thus the bill to remove MLK Day from our national holiday line-up, since he was a notorious philanderer.

Anonymous wrote:^+1000
In my world, people would definitely care . . . where do people live that they think their friends would not care about a spouse destroying their spouse and family, let alone another spouse and family?

Also, to people who said kids don't care - that may be true about young kids WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG, but just read all over these threads about the teens and young adults who care a lot and hold resentment about the cheating parent and say that it damages their relationship forever, if they even speak to the cheating parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go into it with assumption that the betrayed spouse will in fact destroy your life and haunt you for the rest of it. Tell everyone that knows you.

If you are willing to take that risk and the risk your spouse will divorce you when he/she tells them, then by all means play ball.

You seriously overestimate how much people care. Adultery is common. A betrayed spouse has very little power to "destroy your life" simply because the number of people who'd care is very, very small. Like her parents+sister small. Seriously. Nobody cares. A betrayed spouse who tells "everyone that knows you" makes herself look pathetic and small. You have no idea how little people care. I mean he can get divorced today, remarry tomorrow and five years from now no one will remember. Get some perspective. I say this as a wronged spouse.

You are wrong. Most people care. Like, the American people would never elect a man who cheated on his wife because they care too much, especially the conservatives. Just like how when Bill Clinton was caught, his approval ratings went down and he was thrown out of office his second term. And you never hear people chanting "tiger" anymore on the golf course, since he was shunned since the cheating.

Thus the bill to remove MLK Day from our national holiday line-up, since he was a notorious philanderer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go into it with assumption that the betrayed spouse will in fact destroy your life and haunt you for the rest of it. Tell everyone that knows you.

If you are willing to take that risk and the risk your spouse will divorce you when he/she tells them, then by all means play ball.

You seriously overestimate how much people care. Adultery is common. A betrayed spouse has very little power to "destroy your life" simply because the number of people who'd care is very, very small. Like her parents+sister small. Seriously. Nobody cares. A betrayed spouse who tells "everyone that knows you" makes herself look pathetic and small. You have no idea how little people care. I mean he can get divorced today, remarry tomorrow and five years from now no one will remember. Get some perspective. I say this as a wronged spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go into it with assumption that the betrayed spouse will in fact destroy your life and haunt you for the rest of it. Tell everyone that knows you.

If you are willing to take that risk and the risk your spouse will divorce you when he/she tells them, then by all means play ball.

You seriously overestimate how much people care. Adultery is common. A betrayed spouse has very little power to "destroy your life" simply because the number of people who'd care is very, very small. Like her parents+sister small. Seriously. Nobody cares. A betrayed spouse who tells "everyone that knows you" makes herself look pathetic and small. You have no idea how little people care. I mean he can get divorced today, remarry tomorrow and five years from now no one will remember. Get some perspective. I say this as a wronged spouse.

You are wrong. Most people care. Like, the American people would never elect a man who cheated on his wife because they care too much, especially the conservatives. Just like how when Bill Clinton was caught, his approval ratings went down and he was thrown out of office his second term. And you never hear people chanting "tiger" anymore on the golf course, since he was shunned since the cheating.

Thus the bill to remove MLK Day from our national holiday line-up, since he was a notorious philanderer.

Haha. Even in America not many people care at all. Affairs in Europe and Asia are quite well accepted. Wake up and get a grip. Nobody cares who you have sex with.