Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who refuses to let anyone enter the home, so yes, it can happen.

Dealing with this on a smaller scale with my elderly ILs. They’ve never hired any outside help for anything. Maybe had a plumber due to a potential pipe burst. Uphill battle to encourage my ILs to get a lawn service or a house cleaner or an exterminator because this is a foreign concept to them.

Even in their younger years they were suspicious and fearful in general and did everything themselves or it wouldn’t get done.

I last entered their creepy basement about a decade ago. It is quite literally packed to the rafters with a lifetime of stuff. DH is just now trying to get them to “de clutter.” It’s all likely going to be hauled away in a dumpster when one or both are gone.

I have a family member who refuses to let anyone enter the home, so yes, it can happen.

Anonymous wrote:I also speculate that both Gene and his wife grew up poor. To them, the mouse/rat problem wasn’t a huge deal.

Remember, he was just an actor, not a scion of industry or a frequent entertainer. Isolation can occur if you have stuff to hide.

Trust me, if his kids or the neighbors saw how they lived, something would have been done or said. She didn’t want that. He was her everything.

I suspect they both had mental health issues. She was attracted by the fame; he was attracted by the young wife who kept life uncomplicated —no kids, subservient.

You have clearly never had to deal with an older person with hoarder tendencies. Whatever you think of her and the house, it was not so bad that anyone would have been able to get a custodianship and short of that, there’s nothing you can do.

They were very private people who didn’t want household help with them every day (if you were as famous as he and had to deal with tabloids, you’d probably feel the same) and she got overwhelmed by taking care of a dementia patient and a huge house by herself. Unless you’ve done that yourself, I wouldn’t judge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw the pics. It's super messy but I think people don't realize the level of mess many people live in. This is hardly horrific unsanitary hoarding. And I don't like the negative judgmental spin so many are taking. They had been together for decades and obviously loved each other very much and the kids were not close to them. It's too bad the family could not block the pics from being aired out because how they lived is not really any of our business.

+1. It is not uncommon for house and yard maintenance to decline when someone has to take care of an elderly person with dementia. Your emphasis is on caring for that person and even your own health and hygiene takes a backseat. His kids were living their own lives and everything worked until the caregiver came down with a rare and deadly disease.

It’s so weird how invested you are in saying she was doing a great job. Of course it’s not uncommon for those things to decline for normal people because most caregivers don’t have the resources to pay for all of that or to hire in home care. Also where are you getting that everything worked before he was alone for ten days with a dead body in the house? Presumably before then he was living in a filthy house with rats and no social stimulation. It’s not like he could have told anyone when he was too cognitively impaired to use a phone or text/email.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly so dumb not to have hired outside help. Not sure if she was just conserving resources for when he died before her but their house looks filthy and they had a billion rodents throughout the property. Hiring a cleaning person and/or someone to help with Gene would have been the humane and responsible thing to do. A cleaning service, an exterminator, and maybe a few terriers or a cat would have done wonders. There’s even barn cat programs where you can adopt a cat that lives outside and hunts rodents for you.

My mom's neighbor was a hoarder later in life. Typically, they don't let anyone into their house due to the shame. In her will she specified the one person who was allowed to go in and clear out the house. Really sad.

This.