Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just a shout out to the two/three posters who discussed the de Becker book The Gift of Fear way, way back near the beginning of this thread. I ordered the book after reading your posts and the book arrived yesterday. I just finished it. You're right that it has a lot of merit, especially in context of this situation. Thank you for your discussion of the book so that I, and hopefully others, were able to learn from it.

You're welcome! You should also read Protecting the Gift. I found both books very eye opening.

Signed,
One of the posters who got flamed for mentioning these very applicable books

And you didn’t find they made you more paranoid and anxious? I’m personally afraid to read them. I’m anxious to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just a shout out to the two/three posters who discussed the de Becker book The Gift of Fear way, way back near the beginning of this thread. I ordered the book after reading your posts and the book arrived yesterday. I just finished it. You're right that it has a lot of merit, especially in context of this situation. Thank you for your discussion of the book so that I, and hopefully others, were able to learn from it.

It's a GREAT book!

Next take a look at this one:

https://www.amazon.com/Sheep-No-More-Awareness-Survival/dp/1682616045/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514682888&sr=8-1&keywords=sheep+no+more

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just a shout out to the two/three posters who discussed the de Becker book The Gift of Fear way, way back near the beginning of this thread. I ordered the book after reading your posts and the book arrived yesterday. I just finished it. You're right that it has a lot of merit, especially in context of this situation. Thank you for your discussion of the book so that I, and hopefully others, were able to learn from it.

You're welcome! You should also read Protecting the Gift. I found both books very eye opening.

Signed,
One of the posters who got flamed for mentioning these very applicable books

And you didn’t find they made you more paranoid and anxious? I’m personally afraid to read them. I’m anxious to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:Funeral was today and it was reported close to 800 attended.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door.

It sounds as though the girl had been taking a cab to/from school. Her mom had asked for an alarm system for the house as a Christmas present.

I tend to agree with the PP that I would have taken the phone away and put her on restriction the first time I discovered that she had snuck a boy into the house. Getting an alarm system installed would have been priority #1. But that is assuming that I knew about her sneaking the boy in the house. It's possible that the parents only recently found out that she had been doing that and simply had not had enough time to get an alarm system installed. They couldn't take the girl out of town for Christmas break because they already had guests on the way to visit them.

It is so easy to say "Well I would have done X,Y,Z differently".

True. i think from articles she knew he was sneaking in for a while. If that is true then i would have bought an alarm system myself and paid extra to have it installed rather than ask for an XMAS gift. They could afford it. I also would have taken the phone. Easy for me to say in retrospect and reporters don't always get the story right. Plus, this really is a worst case scenario. Unstable-highly unstable kids get dumped and can't handle it and do all sorts of problematic, but don't kill.

Anonymous wrote:This is just a shout out to the two/three posters who discussed the de Becker book The Gift of Fear way, way back near the beginning of this thread. I ordered the book after reading your posts and the book arrived yesterday. I just finished it. You're right that it has a lot of merit, especially in context of this situation. Thank you for your discussion of the book so that I, and hopefully others, were able to learn from it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just a shout out to the two/three posters who discussed the de Becker book The Gift of Fear way, way back near the beginning of this thread. I ordered the book after reading your posts and the book arrived yesterday. I just finished it. You're right that it has a lot of merit, especially in context of this situation. Thank you for your discussion of the book so that I, and hopefully others, were able to learn from it.

You're welcome! You should also read Protecting the Gift. I found both books very eye opening.

Signed,
One of the posters who got flamed for mentioning these very applicable books

Anonymous wrote:This is just a shout out to the two/three posters who discussed the de Becker book The Gift of Fear way, way back near the beginning of this thread. I ordered the book after reading your posts and the book arrived yesterday. I just finished it. You're right that it has a lot of merit, especially in context of this situation. Thank you for your discussion of the book so that I, and hopefully others, were able to learn from it.

Anonymous wrote:Posted too soon. RIP.

A friend of his is trying to raise money for the kids. Noble idea, but we need to wait until we know more and make sure the daughter was totally innocent in this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maybe stop speculating so much - much of what is being guessed at on this thread has already been answered by reputable sources. the FC Police have released the dispatcher's tape (WJLA). NOT the girl's 911 call, but the dispatcher relaying information from the girl's call to the police on scene and en route. The daughter called 911, and said her parents had been shot. As police arrive at the scene, an officer requested that the dispatcher tell the complainants to step out of the house with their hands up -- the dispatcher relayed that the caller said they are sending 10 year old male outside. The dispatcher than states "the caller is still upstairs with her boyfriend." At this point the officer stated, "shots fired." When asked to confirm, the officer replied, "yes." There is then a few seconds with officers asking if another officer is inside - he says, "yes," and something about "one down" - it is difficult to hear clearly. An officer states he is in the front door and asked where the other officer is. As that officer begins to say they are going to be upstairs on the second level, there is a muffled sound and as he continued talking, there is a longer muffled sound (reported to be the daughter screaming) and the officer states, "I think we have the shooter down." A few seconds later an officer says, "the shooter is 10-61." {best I can find that means dead}. There is then several minutes of back and forth of officers en route and then one asks the dispatcher to send a couple of units to "follow the ambulances to the hospital, Reston Hospital." Clearly it was chaotic as we now know Giampa was not dead, but critically injured. It is clear from the tape that the parents were both shot, the daughter called 911 while with her boyfriend upstairs, and Giampa was alive until the officers entered the house when he apparently shot himself.

so if you must, google, people, and stop wildly speculating - and spreading lies - about things that are now known.

and please stop second-guessing and demonizing the Frickers. They were clearly concerned, loving parents handling a deeply disturbing situation in their family the best they knew how. Almost everything in life can be done "better" with hindsight (think about how many times you've wished you'd handled something better).... but hindsight, by definition, is unavailable in the moment. None of you know the details of this situation, none of you know the steps they previously took or what they were thinking, none of you know the people involved or the particulars of their mental health and family situations. And none of you know how you would have handled it in the moment - and I hope none of you ever have to find that out.

Face it, there is no 35-second soundbite that will summarize and explain complicated human emotions and actions - get over it.

Now, let's all try to show our best humanity and give a deeply grieving family the dignity and space they deserve.

haters - don't bother responding as I won't bother to read your posts

Well said. Thank you for posting this and may the Frickers rest in peace.

+1000