My DH loves just hanging out with7th grade DS before one of us drives him to school. If DS gets up early, DH will take him to diner/or to get donuts for breakfast on the way to school.

Anonymous wrote:Of course I can get up. I just wish he’d invest some emotional capital in the kids once in awhile. He only gets involved and shows up when they play his favorite sport. Otherwise he only comes down and engages with anyone at home is when he gets dinner (even if I’m not home).

One of my friends from high school ended up with a husband like yours. When he was home and not eating or sleeping, he was in his hobby room and never talked with the kids. She ended up divorcing him once the kids were both in high school, and really she knew she should have done it much sooner.

OP - this is a much larger issue. I hope your DH understands your kids get that they are not important to him (except in terms of HIS interest in the sport HE likes which is clearly for him and not them) will have very little emotional attachment later in life. He's selfish and they see right through that.

Please do them a favor and be the hands-on parent.

Yeah, it would be hard for me to drive my MSer to school if I was asleep. But seriously, yes of course. i don’t think both parents need to be up but sounds like you have a bigger issue at home.

My DS has to leave at 6:45. I don't have to work until late morning. I sleep in. He says good morning and 'bye, I love you' and is off. He doesn't even eat breakfast at home, he grabs it at school along with eating the school lunch. I guess that according to DCUM I'm a lazy mom with no bond with my son, but from my vantage point, we're actually doing quite well. We talk every evening at dinner and before bed, spend time together on the weekends, and he's also helpful around the household.

Anonymous wrote:I leave for work at the same time as my middle schooler so we are both up. I like to see him for a little bit alone in the morning. DH and the kids in elementary school are still sleeping when we leave.

So it’s usual to have them be the only one up from the first day or week of school? That’s what the OP is about. Rest of the year is different.

I leave for work at the same time as my middle schooler so we are both up. I like to see him for a little bit alone in the morning. DH and the kids in elementary school are still sleeping when we leave.

When my kids started driving I still got up and waved to them from the driveway. I also wait up for them to come home at night on weekends every single time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he preventing you from getting up? Just get up but I wouldn’t expect or insist that husband gets up too.

Of course I can get up. I just wish he’d invest some emotional capital in the kids once in awhile. He only gets involved and shows up when they play his favorite sport. Otherwise he only comes down and engages with anyone at home is when he gets dinner (even if I’m not home).

You are married to a narcissist. I have one in my home as well. Sorry, it really sucks.

Maybe? Possibly it’s anxiety but would never see a therapist. He doesn’t like to do anything especially where kids are involved that may be … wrong(?). Not sure how to explain it. I’m exhausted though.

Depends on the kid. My parents went to work before I woke up, and I don't recall this as any issue at all.

Certainly it doesn't require both parents to be up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What time does he wake up???

He’s been WFH, so 8:00 and then jumps on calls after he’s showered and dressed.

I've gotta say my dad was an absolutely amazing father but he was getting ready for work or sleeping when I was getting ready for school but my mom was *always* up. This isn't the problem here because my dad was present in so many other aspects of my life and, as another poster said, provided for my emotional needs in other ways. The fact that your husband is not doing this is the problem, not that he doesn't wake up to see your kids off.

My husband and I are both up and getting ready for work while our child is getting ready for school. We're both at least half paying attention to whether our child has everything, and half making sure we have everything we need. Sometimes things get missed. Most of the time everyone is out the door on time.