Time to roll up your sleeves and start volunteering at a soup kitchen. That’ll bring you back down to earth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

I posted previously that we earn $2m+ and have a lot of friends who earn 200-300k. Our friendships are just fine.

We also have friends who earn probably $50-100m? Some are famous who get mentioned in the news and on tv. They are just normal people. We do play dates and invite them to birthdays.

Our richer friends fly private. They own multiple houses. They may have a yacht but pretty normal people.

We invite our friends to our house, have drinks, play tennis, swim, etc. We don’t talk about money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

PP here. Yes, I see your point. What I described is for probably <20mm set, and I was suggesting to hide/camouflage the wealth, which may be appropriate at that lower level. In your situation, maybe the strategy should be to lean into the wealth via a cause/ foundation/charity as others have suggested? Maybe part of the solution is to more fully & forcefully acknowledge your situation and see what that brings.

I will say this: if you drop your old friends and hang out exclusively with new friends who are also rich, you are absolutely a DOUCHEBAG. This is pretty much the definition of a douche.

This happens way too frequently and will end up completely warping your perception of the world. If you want to stay grounded, remain close with the people who have always been there for you.

There are plenty of FAT FIRE people on reddit who are young with a lot of money. Go there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

How is it possible that everyone on here understands how to solve this except for you? You don't enjoy having as much money as you do so get rid of it.

Op here. A few people gave helpful responses. But most think I’m looking to solve something. It’s not a solvable thing and I’m not looking to solve it. I was looking for a person or two with whom to commiserate. I do get that looking for empathy or an anonymous forum on something non mainstream is difficult, but there aren’t exactly better forums, so I tried.

Why waste your valuable time on this silly anonymous forum? You sound like you are in a position to do something useful with your time and money so get off DCUM and do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

How is it possible that everyone on here understands how to solve this except for you? You don't enjoy having as much money as you do so get rid of it.

Op here. A few people gave helpful responses. But most think I’m looking to solve something. It’s not a solvable thing and I’m not looking to solve it. I was looking for a person or two with whom to commiserate. I do get that looking for empathy or an anonymous forum on something non mainstream is difficult, but there aren’t exactly better forums, so I tried.

OP, are you maybe having some whiplash from growing up in one class and then entering another later in life?

Both of my parents grew up wealthy -- private schools, tutors, nannies for each kid in the family, etc. then their country went through a war and they had to flee as refugees and all the kids started fresh. My parents came here and built up to a UMC sort of life, one that they were very happy with. They always had friends across income levels and were never snobby about their pasts.

my in laws both came from humble backgrounds, moved here and became wealthy. they go insane trying to figure out how to spend their wealth and buy ridiculous cars and houses and try to control our decisions with their wealth. My husband is the least materialistic person ever, works for a non-profit and wont take their "gifts."

Here's something to remember -- money comes and goes. life circumstances come and go. Who you are as a person just cannot be that tied to your current net worth. it will drive you insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

How is it possible that everyone on here understands how to solve this except for you? You don't enjoy having as much money as you do so get rid of it.

Op here. A few people gave helpful responses. But most think I’m looking to solve something. It’s not a solvable thing and I’m not looking to solve it. I was looking for a person or two with whom to commiserate. I do get that looking for empathy or an anonymous forum on something non mainstream is difficult, but there aren’t exactly better forums, so I tried.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

What do you want, OP? Do you want to be able to connect with people who make $150k a year or do you want to make new friends who have as much money as you do? You don’t seem clear on that. I have friends who are very wealthy and my in laws are very poor. I don’t understand why you can’t have a gazillion dollars and still be friends with someone like me. If I can connect with my in-laws who have never made more than $20k a year, didn’t have indoor plumbing till recently, and bought second hand underwear…well, can’t you connect with someone who can’t afford to fly first class or pay for private school or whatever? We all have limits in life - yours just don’t have to do with money. It seems your challenges might be more with empathy. That’s okay - empathy is a muscle you can build.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

If you have figured out that for you, happiness is being around people if basically the same income level, than try to achieve that. If there are not enough rich people around for you to have in your life, than drop down in wealth and you will have a larger clan to make you happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

How is it possible that everyone on here understands how to solve this except for you? You don't enjoy having as much money as you do so get rid of it.

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be flashy, never speak of your 1% challenges, and always keep in mind that friends and family are what's important.

Also, you could hire a wealth management advisor to talk about everything.

Op here. This worked sorta well when we made less and had less. One can fairly easily hide some degree of income and wealth. But as it grows exponentially even hiding large amounts still gives the appearance that I have much more than those around me.

For example a 1%er can fit in well with the top 10% even though he makes multiples of their income. Some Might fit in okay with the middle class, but truly that is a stretch, because his monthly income is their annual income. Further down the income ladder the multipliers get absurd. As one goes up the income ladder (and the net worth ladder which should inevitably follow) the same thing happens.

I hope and think that my values are solid and good, but it’s not the same. It comes with obvious financial benefits, but it’s also lonely and hard to relate with those further down the ladder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By any chance, OP, did you attend Georgetown or another Jesuit institution?

Op. I did not. Public schools through college.

And this money is all inherited btw

Op here. None of it is inherited or gifted. It’s very high income over a very extended period of time. I invested that to get the net worth, but those investments in fact yield more income. Phenomenal from a financial perspective, but this isn’t a financial problem. It’s a sense of separation problem that I have.

You sound ridiculous. If you are unhappy and uncomfortable being as wealthy as you are, that is a very solvable problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By any chance, OP, did you attend Georgetown or another Jesuit institution?

Op. I did not. Public schools through college.

And this money is all inherited btw

Why did you say you made the money if it was given to you? Claiming you "made" it implies you worked for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By any chance, OP, did you attend Georgetown or another Jesuit institution?

Op. I did not. Public schools through college.

And this money is all inherited btw

Op here. None of it is inherited or gifted. It’s very high income over a very extended period of time. I invested that to get the net worth, but those investments in fact yield more income. Phenomenal from a financial perspective, but this isn’t a financial problem. It’s a sense of separation problem that I have.