Anonymous wrote:Hey baby, what’s your new sign?

Hahaha

I do respect that some women do not want to be spoken to under and circumstances but I don’t think this is common.

My rule of thumb in striking up a conversation would be to do it in a public place and don’t say anything that you wouldn’t conceivably say to a man (assuming you don’t date men).

I wouldn’t be bothered by: “what kind of dog is she? Mines the lab” at the dog park “All this rain has been crazy” in line at the coffee shop or “so how do you know Larla?” at a friends’s birthday. Just use common sense to gauge if I seem interested and am conversing with you or giving short, one word responses.

I would be bothered by “wow, do you model?”, “you are just so hot I have to get your number”, “you have an incredible body” or anything pushy.

It’s important that if you want to approach women you are competent at reading social cues and can tell if she is engaging with you or shutting the conversation down.

Not all men, but enough men.

Hey baby, what’s your new sign?

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

I’ve never complained that it’s difficult to meet men. None of my female friends have, either.

You can stop with the #notallmen BS. When you’ve had several encounters with creeps who couldn’t take no for an answer, followed you, touched you, etc, yea, you don’t want to be approached by men. You can’t tell the creeps from the non-creeps just by looking. Although I’ll say pretty much any guy who goes around asking out women in public he thinks are hot is a creep. Sort of like, if I chatted up every dude I saw loading his groceries into a Lambo, pretty obvious I’m a gold digger.

Yes I think you should. I find it courageous, frankly, when a man actually has the nerve to approach and start conversation now. People are either too "busy" with their phone or computer too nervous to speak to people they don't know.

Be nice and polite, no beauty/looks compliments. And be quick to take a hint if she isn't responsive or doesn't seem interested. No big deal.

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

Oh good. You understood.

Yes I do but I am mid 40s and from another country
If I shy away from your suggestion to have coffee sometime - back off. Otherwise you are good.

As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

No matter how hot or not you may be, no I’m not interested. Sounds creepy, invasive etc. I’m also not interested in your comments on my appearance, your views on whether you want my number etc. Basically, leave me be.

Maybe if guys didn't call me nasty things when I politely turned them down or pushed the no. If I tell you I'm married (the ring should have been an obvious clue), don't push it.

Anonymous wrote:"playing with your phone"? once you throw that in, theres basically no time left in which it would be appropriate for you to be approached. is it really so bad to occasionally have to make small talk for a minute or two and then cue that you're not interested in further conversation and go back to what you were doing?

Is it really so bad for you to get a clue and recognize a woman playing on her phone is intentionally trying to NOT talk to you?

Women don’t exist for your entertainment. If you want to make small talk, find a dude who’s not busy and chat him up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be fine being approached. I think men now are too timid (I am early 40s but told I look younger).

True story: about 6 months before the pandemic I was at Starbucks and this handsome man was eyeing me up and down. I wanted to talk to him but was with work colleagues. I was hoping he would talk to me. I wondered if he was single.
He did not approach me.

We met on bumble six months later and had a lovely 7-month relationship. We could have met 6 months earlier than we actually did. He was too shy to talk to me.

If you couldn't talk to him because of work colleagues, why would it have mattered if he approached you? Also, I'm guessing the vast majority of women would prefer not to be approached when they're doing work stuff.

He appeared to be with work colleagues. I was alone. I was grabbing coffee—not doing work stuff. It was during the work day but who cares. After we met he told me he sometimes goes to Starbucks but some guys from the office.

I am approached often and I strongly dislike it. I’m married, but I also somehow have “resting talk to me face”. I’m also petite, which people need to take into account before talking to a woman alone in certain situations— you are not “interesting” to me, you are scaring me. If you talk to me on the metro after dark I am making sure there are witnesses. If you chat in an elevator I am looking for the cameras. It’s nothing personal, please don’t #notallmen me, but if you are one of the dangerous men I am at a grave disadvantage and I want to get home to my husband and baby more than I want to make sure your feelings aren’t hurt.

So, approach women in public well lit places intended for socializing. Talk to women after author events at bookstores or at sporting events or at vineyards/breweries. Don’t try to talk to women alone in the evening in non-social places.

Anonymous wrote:"playing with your phone"? once you throw that in, theres basically no time left in which it would be appropriate for you to be approached. is it really so bad to occasionally have to make small talk for a minute or two and then cue that you're not interested in further conversation and go back to what you were doing?

Yes. Because my time is my own and I’m not required to be polite to some man desperate and entitled for attention.