Anonymous
08/23/2021 22:45
Subject: Re:Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He will pursue you when he's ready. Don't do anything other that what ever you were doing, let it grow organically.
OP here. My worry is that I’m misreading and he’s really not into me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship and making it weird for our friends if I pursue him or show interest and he’s not interested.
Girl, a massage? He thinks you're hot. Go for it!!!! Tell him you are wondering if he thinks because you are both single, it would be appropriate to switch from friend zone to dating zone.
Anonymous
08/23/2021 22:40
Subject: Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been having feelings for a long time for a guy friend...... but I don’t know if I’m misreading the signals. He has never said he is attracted to me or ever made any sexual advances beyond offering to give me a massage. Should I pursue this or let it go?
This is so much like high school: "does he/she like me or am I misreading the signals?"
He may still be pining for the lost relationship, he may be so in love with you that he is afraid to make a move lest you give him the "I like you as a friend" speech that all guys fear. The only way to find out is to tell him how you feel, or else be prepared to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have happened if you you had not been so shy to talk to him about your feelings.
Anonymous
08/23/2021 15:23
Subject: Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Be available and make it subtly known you are, but let him pursue. Men like (need) the chase. They are simple beasts when you get down to these details.
Is this 1950? Terrible advice.
Terrible and misogynist.
It's actually deeply feminist in that it saves the woman from feeling pathetic and rejected.
It's really not about what men like. It's that if a man doesn't ask you out, in 99% of all cases he doesn't want to.
This is a hell of a post. So, only men should feel pathetic and rejected?
There are plenty of reasons why men wouldn't ask out a woman, including fear of rejection. Another is concern that it would be seen as harassment towards the woman, especially if it is in a workplace setting. It has been drilled into men's heads over the past several decades that women don't appreciate unwelcome advances. Guess which segment of guys that are taking this advice to heart. It isn't the a-holes.
A man should want to ask you out more than he fears rejection. Men are used to rejection since they traditionally ask women out and not all women agree.
People meet, date and marry after connecting at work all the time.
Anonymous
08/23/2021 14:45
Subject: Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Be available and make it subtly known you are, but let him pursue. Men like (need) the chase. They are simple beasts when you get down to these details.
Is this 1950? Terrible advice.
Terrible and misogynist.
It's actually deeply feminist in that it saves the woman from feeling pathetic and rejected.
It's really not about what men like. It's that if a man doesn't ask you out, in 99% of all cases he doesn't want to.
This is a hell of a post. So, only men should feel pathetic and rejected?
There are plenty of reasons why men wouldn't ask out a woman, including fear of rejection. Another is concern that it would be seen as harassment towards the woman, especially if it is in a workplace setting. It has been drilled into men's heads over the past several decades that women don't appreciate unwelcome advances. Guess which segment of guys that are taking this advice to heart. It isn't the a-holes.
Anonymous
08/23/2021 13:57
Subject: Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Any updates OP?
+1, would love to know what's happened here.
PS I've made the first move on a number of guys. Ended up with one of them one for 25 years so far.
DH and I were good friends for a couple of years and then one day we were sitting at a bar and I made “goo goo” eyes at him. He was perplexed until the hand on his knee cleared everything up. Some men just need a little encouragement.
OMG! I did this too and I still remember his expression! Somewhere between WTF and OMG! Within hours we went from friends to lovers.
Anonymous
08/23/2021 12:29
Subject: Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Any updates OP?
+1, would love to know what's happened here.
PS I've made the first move on a number of guys. Ended up with one of them one for 25 years so far.
DH and I were good friends for a couple of years and then one day we were sitting at a bar and I made “goo goo” eyes at him. He was perplexed until the hand on his knee cleared everything up. Some men just need a little encouragement.
Anonymous
08/23/2021 11:53
Subject: Should I Pursue Him?
Anonymous wrote:Any updates OP?
+1, would love to know what's happened here.
PS I've made the first move on a number of guys. Ended up with one of them one for 25 years so far.