There are always stay at home moms everywhere who want to make a few extra bucks while getting the privilege of raising their own children. (Sadly, yes, this is now a privilege in the USA.) Look around your neighborhood or on your neighborhood list-serv.

^

That is me you are talking about. You are a nut job. I know -- as do most women in this country -- how to raise a family on a budget. You apparently know nothing. I hope you are not in charge of any budgetary issues at home or work. You would never touch my money.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you price out all the suggestions here (care + health + sick and vacay benefits etc. etc.) and see how it compares to your own salary? Might be worth it to quit your current work and be a stay at home mom. And, you could babysit a child or 2 and make extra money while you get to be with your own kids. I know lots of women who have done just that. I would do it just to save the headache.

Seriously? The fact that you can't even see how myopic that thinking is says a lot about you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$32/hr for the twins at a maximum of 35 hours a week, $35/hr for overtime, full-healthcare paid by you every month, 3 weeks PTO (2 your choice, 1 theirs), and 8 days of sick leave.

Plus access to your car for twin appointments, mommy & me classes, park trips etc

Overtime is 1.5 times the normal rate. It's not negotiable. You obviously don't know what you're talking about.

Anything is negotiable when its a self-contract. I'd personally start with a higher base pay + lower hours than how for a few crumbs of OT.

It's literally illegal to pay someone less than 1.5 times their hourly rate for overtime hours. Putting it into a contract doesn't make it any less so.

Because you are not paying enough for a difficult nannying job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I empathize, that is tough. For what it's worth, I've seen several daycares with cameras, including mine. Also ask yourself what your actual concerns are with daycare. This area is much higher-than-average quality in terms of group childcare standards because of the local education level and affluence.

It’s really the fact that I’m not allowed inside of the building so I’d at least want to check in every so often to see how they’re doing for my own peace of mind. I did this with my older son and it significantly decreased my anxiety and increased my comfort level to see him sleeping or happily playing.

Look at it from their point of view that everytime your kid sees you it cries for halfban hour when you leave. If you don't trust child care then stay home and take care of your children, which is what women should be doing anyway and I say this as a woman who was a SAHM until youngest child was in third grade. We were married 15 years before we bought a house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I empathize, that is tough. For what it's worth, I've seen several daycares with cameras, including mine. Also ask yourself what your actual concerns are with daycare. This area is much higher-than-average quality in terms of group childcare standards because of the local education level and affluence.

It’s really the fact that I’m not allowed inside of the building so I’d at least want to check in every so often to see how they’re doing for my own peace of mind. I did this with my older son and it significantly decreased my anxiety and increased my comfort level to see him sleeping or happily playing.

Look at it from their point of view that everytime your kid sees you it cries for halfban hour when you leave. If you don't trust child care then stay home and take care of your children, which is what women should be doing anyway and I say this as a woman who was a SAHM until youngest child was in third grade. We were married 15 years before we bought a house.

PP above, I should add that my daycare (which has cameras) also posts about a billion app pictures a day so I do see my kid playing happily, etc. This is pretty common among mid-range to high-range daycares.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I empathize, that is tough. For what it's worth, I've seen several daycares with cameras, including mine. Also ask yourself what your actual concerns are with daycare. This area is much higher-than-average quality in terms of group childcare standards because of the local education level and affluence.

It’s really the fact that I’m not allowed inside of the building so I’d at least want to check in every so often to see how they’re doing for my own peace of mind. I did this with my older son and it significantly decreased my anxiety and increased my comfort level to see him sleeping or happily playing.

I think daycares will probably go back to normal in the fall. They're doing this stuff based on local regs, not because they want to hide anything from you. In-home providers probably have more flexibility (but are also less supervised, so ... trade-off).

Face it, OP, if you want to be a dual working parent household, you're going to have to either pay (for a nanny/au pair), move (e.g. closer to family or lower COL), or suck it up and go with a solution that isn't perfect (daycare or nannyshare, etc.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why isn’t an au pair appropriate for babies OP?! I think an au pair would be a great solution in your case.

We have used au pairs to care for our elementary school kids and loved the experience, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with having an au pair watch twin infants. Also it is very hard to find au pairs right now, and you would be hard pressed to find someone willing to watch 3 kids, two of whom are infants in the best of times. This just isn't a gig that most au pairs want.

Agree with this. I had a feeling that most au pairs would come and the rematch with a family with less kids

[quote=Anonymous]I didn't read all the responses but as a mother of 3, and one set of twins .. I would use an agency to place or narrow down the candidates. They will also guide you with costs and taxes and healthcare etc. We went through 2 before finding our beloved nanny who has been with us now for 8 years. It costs a FORTUNE but is a life saver as we both work out of the house full time. [/quote]

Would you mind sharing the cost?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I empathize, that is tough. For what it's worth, I've seen several daycares with cameras, including mine. Also ask yourself what your actual concerns are with daycare. This area is much higher-than-average quality in terms of group childcare standards because of the local education level and affluence.

It’s really the fact that I’m not allowed inside of the building so I’d at least want to check in every so often to see how they’re doing for my own peace of mind. I did this with my older son and it significantly decreased my anxiety and increased my comfort level to see him sleeping or happily playing.

OP here: Thanks for all of the thoughtful and helpful responses. I’ve continued my search and added an additional week of PTO and a healthcare stipend and have 3 interviews scheduled for today. I’m hopeful that one will stick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$32/hr for the twins at a maximum of 35 hours a week, $35/hr for overtime, full-healthcare paid by you every month, 3 weeks PTO (2 your choice, 1 theirs), and 8 days of sick leave.

Plus access to your car for twin appointments, mommy & me classes, park trips etc

This is nuts!

OP, try to post on care.com as well. As others have helpfully suggested - try to also include a rate you would pay if the third child is there. Guarantee 40 hours/week + time and half for overtime.

It’s a pandemic and excellent nanny care has been in hot demand for over a year. Hence OP being ditched.

OP, I empathize, that is tough. For what it's worth, I've seen several daycares with cameras, including mine. Also ask yourself what your actual concerns are with daycare. This area is much higher-than-average quality in terms of group childcare standards because of the local education level and affluence.