Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends’ kids whose parents are strict about their diet go completely bonkers when they see junk food. I had kids literally stuff their pocket with junk lying around our house unnoticed. The parents claims the child doesn’t like sweets only fruit, meanwhile the child is stuffing her pockets fill out airheads.

I think it’s upsetting to these people to see how much their children still want all that junk.

Every child goes bonkers when they see junk food. It has scientifically been proven to be a drug. Sugar is a drug. Food is a drug. Lays has spent millions of dollars fabricating Doritos in a lab in such a way that your brain is triggered to keep wanting more. That multibillion dollar industry is what makes junk food so hard to put down. And that is why some parents don't want their kids to eat it - because it's so hard to stop. For many people, they cannot outsmart food manufacturers so they opt not to keep that crap in their homes. Because these companies have made it a completely unlevel playing field. So all kids love junk. They are hardwired to do so. How much you allow them to eat is up to the parent. But why are you judging other parents for trying to do their best and keep it away from their kids? You're both trying to act in their best interest so why don't you give deference to each mom in that she knows her kid and family best?

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends’ kids whose parents are strict about their diet go completely bonkers when they see junk food. I had kids literally stuff their pocket with junk lying around our house unnoticed. The parents claims the child doesn’t like sweets only fruit, meanwhile the child is stuffing her pockets fill out airheads.

I think it’s upsetting to these people to see how much their children still want all that junk.

Every child goes bonkers when they see junk food. It has scientifically been proven to be a drug. Sugar is a drug. Food is a drug. Lays has spent millions of dollars fabricating Doritos in a lab in such a way that your brain is triggered to keep wanting more. That multibillion dollar industry is what makes junk food so hard to put down. And that is why some parents don't want their kids to eat it - because it's so hard to stop. For many people, they cannot outsmart food manufacturers so they opt not to keep that crap in their homes. Because these companies have made it a completely unlevel playing field. So all kids love junk. They are hardwired to do so. How much you allow them to eat is up to the parent. But why are you judging other parents for trying to do their best and keep it away from their kids? You're both trying to act in their best interest so why don't you give deference to each mom in that she knows her kid and family best?

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends’ kids whose parents are strict about their diet go completely bonkers when they see junk food. I had kids literally stuff their pocket with junk lying around our house unnoticed. The parents claims the child doesn’t like sweets only fruit, meanwhile the child is stuffing her pockets fill out airheads.

I think it’s upsetting to these people to see how much their children still want all that junk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

They are absolutely valid. Sister has a right to be concerned about her own children's screen time and diet. No one cares what OP does with her own kids, and OP can tell her sister that. But the line of thinking that someone OP's laissez faire attitude about her kids' behavior is a beeline to collegiate success is nonsense.

Letting your kids have fries or play on an ipad isn’t “laissez faire.” It’s … normal? Common? You can be an attentive parent AND go to Burger King occasionally!

OP has already said that her screen time oversight is lax. She sounds incredibly laissez faire. And TBH, letting kids shovel BK in the car is clearly a sign that they eat it to much. That said, no one can tell OP what to do with her kids - not even her sister. But you missed the point. The point, and this entire response, was to prior PPs comment stating that future college success of these cousins would clearly show OPs parenting style as superior, or alluding to that. Nonsense. You cannot claim that OP's kids will have a better college trajectory based on this limited view of their parenting or kids' lives. That's total BS and makes zero sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends’ kids whose parents are strict about their diet go completely bonkers when they see junk food. I had kids literally stuff their pocket with junk lying around our house unnoticed. The parents claims the child doesn’t like sweets only fruit, meanwhile the child is stuffing her pockets fill out airheads.

I think it’s upsetting to these people to see how much their children still want all that junk.

Every child goes bonkers when they see junk food. It has scientifically been proven to be a drug. Sugar is a drug. Food is a drug. Lays has spent millions of dollars fabricating Doritos in a lab in such a way that your brain is triggered to keep wanting more. That multibillion dollar industry is what makes junk food so hard to put down. And that is why some parents don't want their kids to eat it - because it's so hard to stop. For many people, they cannot outsmart food manufacturers so they opt not to keep that crap in their homes. Because these companies have made it a completely unlevel playing field. So all kids love junk. They are hardwired to do so. How much you allow them to eat is up to the parent. But why are you judging other parents for trying to do their best and keep it away from their kids? You're both trying to act in their best interest so why don't you give deference to each mom in that she knows her kid and family best?

Anonymous wrote:"Thanks for your concern, but I'm not going to get into a debate about parenting methods."

And then:

"Again, thanks for your concern, but like I said, I'm not going to debate parenting methods. Please stop bringing this up."

And then:

"We've talked about this: stop bringing this up."

After that, if she brings it up, either immediately change the subject ("What's your favorite summer drink?") or just straight up leave the room.

[b]Just because someone tries to hand you a bag of dog sh!t doesn't mean you have to take it from them[i].

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends’ kids whose parents are strict about their diet go completely bonkers when they see junk food. I had kids literally stuff their pocket with junk lying around our house unnoticed. The parents claims the child doesn’t like sweets only fruit, meanwhile the child is stuffing her pockets fill out airheads.

I think it’s upsetting to these people to see how much their children still want all that junk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

They are absolutely valid. Sister has a right to be concerned about her own children's screen time and diet. No one cares what OP does with her own kids, and OP can tell her sister that. But the line of thinking that someone OP's laissez faire attitude about her kids' behavior is a beeline to collegiate success is nonsense.

Letting your kids have fries or play on an ipad isn’t “laissez faire.” It’s … normal? Common? You can be an attentive parent AND go to Burger King occasionally!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would be extra careful not to create envy in her poor children - so no pulling out of iPads, no walking in with fries, etc. It’s good for your kids to have a detox from all that, frankly. You don’t need to live like this all year - just when your families get together.

I think OP's sister was way out of line, but I would do the same thing anyway. Let them eat whatever you want when they are with you, sure, but not in front of them. And no screens outside of your cottage. It's not like it will hurt them to have a little less screen time -- they can play a game with their cousins or read a book or help make dinner or whatever together. But I'd do it because (1) less screen time is better anyway, (2) if they don't get a lot of time with their cousins, I'd rather they were spending time with them instead of glued to a screen anyway, and (3) I was raised that flaunting things in front of people who don't have them is unkind. The cousins can't help their parents' rules; show them a little grace by doing things they can participate in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

They are absolutely valid. Sister has a right to be concerned about her own children's screen time and diet. No one cares what OP does with her own kids, and OP can tell her sister that. But the line of thinking that someone OP's laissez faire attitude about her kids' behavior is a beeline to collegiate success is nonsense.