Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 23:02     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
OP I'm a parent of a kid going to college this coming fall.

I've also become an extremely anxious person and have never taken medication in my life, but am considering zoloft. Mentioning this by way of commiseration.

I recommend getting a college advisor. Not that you can't do it yourself, but given your anxiety you should consider outsourcing.

My kid in particular, gets defiant instead of working with me as a team member, so it was really helpful for me (she'll do anything for an outside expert)

I did outsource and I am very grateful.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 22:53     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Using a knowledgeable college counselor helps a lot (especially if DC is an oldest or only child and it is your first time going through the process). Having a coach takes some of the worry out of making a "wrong" decision.


Any recommendations? Thank you in advance.


We used Richard
Montauk. RichardMontauk.com. Look up his books on Amazon to familiarize yourself before calling. He’s not local to the area. He does everything now by phone and Zoom. Not sure where he lives but it was worth it.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 20:32     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:I really appreciate all of you taking the time to give your honest feedback and opinion.

Many many thanks.

- OP





One thing: Even if we said, "You have to do this or that," just about the only things your son has to do is to sign up and take whatever standardized tests he plans to take, request recommendations on time, get the UMD and safer alternative applications in on time, and submit the required financial aid forms and (if relevant) loan application forms on time.

Everything else is icing on the cake.

And, even if your son flubs those steps, chances are he can just rush around feeling nervous, do everything late, and still persuade UMD to let him start in the fall, or to admit him for a later term.

Example: Someone here talked about creating a spreadsheet, and someone talked about doing essays over the summer.

Those are great ideas, but, they're only great for you and your son if they fit you and your son. There are kids who do their applications at the last minute and get into dream schools. There are kids who do everything in advance, by the book, and get rejected by all of their favorite schools. So, you never know, and there's no real reason to stress if a deadline gets missed or something else goes wrong. Just do what you can and things will work out.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 19:46     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hop over to college confidential where there are already some applicants in CS asking readers to chance them, or estimate their chances of getting into various colleges. You’ll probably be able to stack your child’s stats against the posted applicants. If you have some extra time read Jeff Selingo(sp?) book on the college application process. It may make it more transparent to you what happens.

Best of luck to you, your son worked hard all these years.


If you become stressed easily, I would avoid blogs like College Confidential.


Thank you. Spot on advice for avoiding the "chance me" feature on College Confidential. I just saw one CS applicant from China (from 2019) - https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/t/chance-me-for-cmu-scs-ed/2065675 and it's really not conducive to anyone's stress level.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 19:35     Subject: Re:As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:Read "College Is Yours 2.0" by Patrick O'Connor, PhD.

He was head of the national college counselors group for several years. His book is short, sweet, funny and is good at getting everyone to just calm down.

It's on Amazon; I think the newest edition comes out next month.


Thank you. Great reviews on Amazon. Ordered it along with the following two books -
- College Essay Essentials: A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing a Successful College Admissions Essay by Ethan Sawyer
- Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions by Jeffrey Selingo


Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 19:28     Subject: Re:As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is so much info on the internet. Why don’t you educate yourself?


Because every school on the website sounds good. I am also not understanding the implications of many things that are listed on the websites.

We were not educated in this country so what we know about what is a good school comes from US News ranking. Not having lived in other places in the US, I cannot say that my kid likes big or small, hot or cold, urban or suburban, greek life or college football.

He wants to do CS. So I used Naviance and US world News to come up with a list. But, it is not a list based on what we know about the schools but rather a copy and paste of what other students have applied to from his school. The Naviance list is also following pretty much the US world news so I suspect that is how people are starting their search?

So I did make a list but this is not a list with any deep thought about what I know about my kid or through some great research (colleges that change life etc) but rather I have followed the list of others. He matches all schools according to Naviance. But obviously that is not true. Also, what do I know about my kid? I have no idea if he will be bored in a safety or crushed in a reach? Should he dream big? Should he be in his small pond? In-state? OOS?

I am second guessing everything. All schools sound good on the websites so my fear is that I will select the school based on some weird criteria and then one day my kid will wake up and say that he could have gone to a better school with his stats but I was a lousy guide!! Or I will not have him apply to some great program or opportunity in a college even though he is eligible.


I meant there are lots of college admissions blogs out there and many college counselors also post a lot of free information. Sarah Haberson is one example. If you google her, she has a ton of info on college admissions. Ask the Dean on college confidential is also helpful. Reddit. Georgia Tech Admissions blog is good too. We did not use a private college counselor but were able to figure it out pretty well by doing our own research and talking to other parents and kids. It is not that complicated to figure out.


Thank you for these recommendations.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 19:21     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:OP, This is why we hired a college counselor. There were just so many pieces to manage, my job is very stressful, and I am not good at this type of project management. I hired the college counselor to navigate the process and to make up for my deficiencies.


I feel the same. Honestly, I am not at all averse to hiring college counselors at all but I do not know anyone IRL who had private college counselors. Not sure if people admit to hiring college counselors? Maybe people did do the research themselves and maybe parents having gone to universities here are more familiar with the process? Anyways there are some recommendations on DCUM (PrepMatters for one) so I will certainly look into that.

Were you happy with your college counselor and would you mind sharing their name? Thanks.

-op

Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 15:16     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
OP, This is why we hired a college counselor. There were just so many pieces to manage, my job is very stressful, and I am not good at this type of project management. I hired the college counselor to navigate the process and to make up for my deficiencies.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 15:12     Subject: Re:As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is so much info on the internet. Why don’t you educate yourself?


Because every school on the website sounds good. I am also not understanding the implications of many things that are listed on the websites.

We were not educated in this country so what we know about what is a good school comes from US News ranking. Not having lived in other places in the US, I cannot say that my kid likes big or small, hot or cold, urban or suburban, greek life or college football.

He wants to do CS. So I used Naviance and US world News to come up with a list. But, it is not a list based on what we know about the schools but rather a copy and paste of what other students have applied to from his school. The Naviance list is also following pretty much the US world news so I suspect that is how people are starting their search?

So I did make a list but this is not a list with any deep thought about what I know about my kid or through some great research (colleges that change life etc) but rather I have followed the list of others. He matches all schools according to Naviance. But obviously that is not true. Also, what do I know about my kid? I have no idea if he will be bored in a safety or crushed in a reach? Should he dream big? Should he be in his small pond? In-state? OOS?

I am second guessing everything. All schools sound good on the websites so my fear is that I will select the school based on some weird criteria and then one day my kid will wake up and say that he could have gone to a better school with his stats but I was a lousy guide!! Or I will not have him apply to some great program or opportunity in a college even though he is eligible.


I meant there are lots of college admissions blogs out there and many college counselors also post a lot of free information. Sarah Haberson is one example. If you google her, she has a ton of info on college admissions. Ask the Dean on college confidential is also helpful. Reddit. Georgia Tech Admissions blog is good too. We did not use a private college counselor but were able to figure it out pretty well by doing our own research and talking to other parents and kids. It is not that complicated to figure out.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 13:01     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Needing to go on Zoloft because you're melting down over your kid applying to college has got to be a new level of idiocy on DCUM. This could be up there with lightly fried and spiced tuna, maroon washcloths, and the pine cone lady.

+ 1 billion.
I call troll.


When I first read the original post, it struck me as over the top and possibly the work of a troll. But, OP has returned a few times to add information and thank those who've posted. And, overall, the advice here is quite good, so, regardless of whether you believe the op is a troll or not, this is actually one of the most helpful college info threads I've seen on DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 12:43     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Anonymous wrote:Needing to go on Zoloft because you're melting down over your kid applying to college has got to be a new level of idiocy on DCUM. This could be up there with lightly fried and spiced tuna, maroon washcloths, and the pine cone lady.

+ 1 billion.
I call troll.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 12:35     Subject: As a parent of a rising senior, I am completely paralysed.
Not particularly relevant to what a rising junior needs to focus on though.