Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 15:59     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife and my DH has an adult daughter. (We are the same age.) We have one child together who is in ES. By the time we married and had the baby, we had paid for 2 years of her college before she dropped out.

I am the financial planner between us and worked to help my DH out of huge debt that his ex incurred before their divorce. Our accumulated wealth is negligible but we do have good equity in the house we bought together before our son was born.

In our wills, we leave everything to each other. If we both die, it goes into a trust for our minor child with a. Provision that the trustee could choose to pay reasonable education expenses for my stepdaughter if she went back to school. Aside from that, it all goes to our minor child. While would it be shared wIth both? She is an adult who had been raised and should not be dependent. The equity in our house is due to my planning and financial acumen and my earnings as well as my spouse’s.

I can totally see resentment if one parent dies and that parent’s family property or heirlooms end up in the hands of the children of a second spouse. Otherwise, though, people shouldn’t count them r feel entitled to other people’s money as inher Trance. A couple is a couple, a partnership.



Do you plan to change the wills once your child reaches adulthood?


PP here. Yes, I imagine that our wills will leave everything to each other, or, if we die together, DH’s would split his $ evenly between his adult children.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 09:51     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
That isn't common. Sounds like you are the young wife and trying to justify this bad decision.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 09:32     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife and my DH has an adult daughter. (We are the same age.) We have one child together who is in ES. By the time we married and had the baby, we had paid for 2 years of her college before she dropped out.

I am the financial planner between us and worked to help my DH out of huge debt that his ex incurred before their divorce. Our accumulated wealth is negligible but we do have good equity in the house we bought together before our son was born.

In our wills, we leave everything to each other. If we both die, it goes into a trust for our minor child with a. Provision that the trustee could choose to pay reasonable education expenses for my stepdaughter if she went back to school. Aside from that, it all goes to our minor child. While would it be shared wIth both? She is an adult who had been raised and should not be dependent. The equity in our house is due to my planning and financial acumen and my earnings as well as my spouse’s.

I can totally see resentment if one parent dies and that parent’s family property or heirlooms end up in the hands of the children of a second spouse. Otherwise, though, people shouldn’t count them r feel entitled to other people’s money as inher Trance. A couple is a couple, a partnership.



Do you plan to change the wills once your child reaches adulthood?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 08:18     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
PP again- if it had been up to my dad- I wouldn’t gave had my wedding or college paid for by anyone.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 08:16     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
New poster and the dump the kids philosophy from the first marriage is alive and well in our family. Coming here is a little cathartic as it makes me realize it was not me.

My dad comes from a wealthy family and he was given a house, free college education and a paid for wedding.

In my case, his parents paid for my wedding my college and gave me 100k towards a house. He and his wife were jealous that they did this and say I stole their inheritance and offered nothing for my wedding. They threw themselves a huge and expensive wedding a few years later and asked me to be a bridesmaid and didn’t even offer to pay for the dress.



Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 08:10     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:extremely common. this is why women need to get the best divorce settlement they can including college tuition and life insurance to the extent possible.


I did this but ex scoffed at any mention of his Will, even though I sought none for myself and only “all my children per stirpes” for his only existing child.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 07:16     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife and my DH has an adult daughter. (We are the same age.) We have one child together who is in ES. By the time we married and had the baby, we had paid for 2 years of her college before she dropped out.

I am the financial planner between us and worked to help my DH out of huge debt that his ex incurred before their divorce. Our accumulated wealth is negligible but we do have good equity in the house we bought together before our son was born.

In our wills, we leave everything to each other. If we both die, it goes into a trust for our minor child with a. Provision that the trustee could choose to pay reasonable education expenses for my stepdaughter if she went back to school. Aside from that, it all goes to our minor child. While would it be shared wIth both? She is an adult who had been raised and should not be dependent. The equity in our house is due to my planning and financial acumen and my earnings as well as my spouse’s.

I can totally see resentment if one parent dies and that parent’s family property or heirlooms end up in the hands of the children of a second spouse. Otherwise, though, people shouldn’t count them r feel entitled to other people’s money as inher Trance. A couple is a couple, a partnership.


This is exactly why the term evil stepmother exists!!

A stepmother will never love nor care about her stepchild as much as her bio child.


Why is it evil to ensure that my minor child is taken care of in my will? Why is it evil to prioritize a minor over an adult? The adult was already provided for in childhood and for years as an adult.

I agree with last poster. Minor child needs to be provided for first, like the adult children had when they were young.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 07:06     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife and my DH has an adult daughter. (We are the same age.) We have one child together who is in ES. By the time we married and had the baby, we had paid for 2 years of her college before she dropped out.

I am the financial planner between us and worked to help my DH out of huge debt that his ex incurred before their divorce. Our accumulated wealth is negligible but we do have good equity in the house we bought together before our son was born.

In our wills, we leave everything to each other. If we both die, it goes into a trust for our minor child with a. Provision that the trustee could choose to pay reasonable education expenses for my stepdaughter if she went back to school. Aside from that, it all goes to our minor child. While would it be shared wIth both? She is an adult who had been raised and should not be dependent. The equity in our house is due to my planning and financial acumen and my earnings as well as my spouse’s.

I can totally see resentment if one parent dies and that parent’s family property or heirlooms end up in the hands of the children of a second spouse. Otherwise, though, people shouldn’t count them r feel entitled to other people’s money as inher Trance. A couple is a couple, a partnership.


This is exactly why the term evil stepmother exists!!

A stepmother will never love nor care about her stepchild as much as her bio child.


Why is it evil to ensure that my minor child is taken care of in my will? Why is it evil to prioritize a minor over an adult? The adult was already provided for in childhood and for years as an adult.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 07:06     Subject: Re:This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
I don’t know any wealthy families like this, all the kids have equal trusts/tuition/whatever. It is true that sometimes the younger kids get direct aid the elders did not (like rent help in NYC while they “pursue acting.”) But not sure I know any third families (lots of seconds). Idk about wives but I wouldn’t expect they’d get anything beyond their divorce settlements? Why would they?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 07:01     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife and my DH has an adult daughter. (We are the same age.) We have one child together who is in ES. By the time we married and had the baby, we had paid for 2 years of her college before she dropped out.

I am the financial planner between us and worked to help my DH out of huge debt that his ex incurred before their divorce. Our accumulated wealth is negligible but we do have good equity in the house we bought together before our son was born.

In our wills, we leave everything to each other. If we both die, it goes into a trust for our minor child with a. Provision that the trustee could choose to pay reasonable education expenses for my stepdaughter if she went back to school. Aside from that, it all goes to our minor child. While would it be shared wIth both? She is an adult who had been raised and should not be dependent. The equity in our house is due to my planning and financial acumen and my earnings as well as my spouse’s.

I can totally see resentment if one parent dies and that parent’s family property or heirlooms end up in the hands of the children of a second spouse. Otherwise, though, people shouldn’t count them r feel entitled to other people’s money as inher Trance. A couple is a couple, a partnership.


This is exactly why the term evil stepmother exists!!

A stepmother will never love nor care about her stepchild as much as her bio child.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2021 23:26     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:Yep, my dad is leaving everything to his new wife/family. It breaks my heart that my deceased mom's family farm is going to her.

But it is common. When a man starts a new family, he really doesn't see the first family as family anymore. Tale as old as time.


Can't you make a claim for that property?
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2021 23:23     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Unsure why everyone fixates on younger wife. My FIL married an age appropriate widow. They were married 10 years. He died at 75 and she got everything. Granted she cared for him in that final year of terminal cancer but I hardly think that was worth millions of dollars.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2021 22:43     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
I’m a second wife and my DH has an adult daughter. (We are the same age.) We have one child together who is in ES. By the time we married and had the baby, we had paid for 2 years of her college before she dropped out.

I am the financial planner between us and worked to help my DH out of huge debt that his ex incurred before their divorce. Our accumulated wealth is negligible but we do have good equity in the house we bought together before our son was born.

In our wills, we leave everything to each other. If we both die, it goes into a trust for our minor child with a. Provision that the trustee could choose to pay reasonable education expenses for my stepdaughter if she went back to school. Aside from that, it all goes to our minor child. While would it be shared wIth both? She is an adult who had been raised and should not be dependent. The equity in our house is due to my planning and financial acumen and my earnings as well as my spouse’s.

I can totally see resentment if one parent dies and that parent’s family property or heirlooms end up in the hands of the children of a second spouse. Otherwise, though, people shouldn’t count them r feel entitled to other people’s money as inher Trance. A couple is a couple, a partnership.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2021 17:05     Subject: This is super common right in inheritances....? Spinoff.
Anonymous wrote:This is why married people should take note. Put your assets in a trust to benefit your spouse, then kids when spouse dies. Then even if one remarries, they can’t cut they first kids out. With a 50% divorce rate, it’s naive to think it could never happen to your marriage.


My friend’s dad did this. Before he died, all of the adult kids vacationed together, did holidays together, etc. He also made annual gifts to his and her kids. He told her he wanted her to continue this practice after he died but it isn’t in writing. Wife can deplete principal in trust if she needs it so she can deplete it and transfer it to her kids so there will not be as much left for his kids. The trustee is one of her closest friends. She no longer invites his kids and grandkids over to her house so the kids lost a grandpa and a grandma.