Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 07:03     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
You are not conjoined twins.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 06:58     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to stay married to this jackass? Convince us why you should stay.


+1. It sounds like there are no kids? Don't get pregnant. Divorce his ass and find someone who can either have your back or disagree like an adult (and isn't on his mom's apron strings).


Agree. It was workable until he escalated and said you embarrassed him. He doesn’t want to grow up yet.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 06:46     Subject: Re:Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Op here. My husband would think it very rude if I left earlier. Her say I’m showing his family I don’t care about them.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 05:07     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I huddle before EVERY move we make with family. We agree about all of it ahead of time.


Sounds so immature.


NP. I disagree. I also talk over plans with my husband before we meet with family. That way one person isn’t expecting to leave at 7 while the other assumed they were fine staying until 11. I don’t see how planning ahead of time with each other’s schedules in mind is immature.


These are great approaches. And you may want to take two cars anyway. Often people will pay lip service to the idea of leaving at an earlier time but then refuse to when the time comes. And of course they also want their partner to stay too, and may pout about the partner leaving, but given the prior agreement and the two cars, you are good to go!
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 02:22     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:This is all on the wife. Some stuff you have to do and you do not get to complain. This is one of those. You have to suck it up and stay late. It is father's day for sakes. Also based on your post you probably did overlook at your watch.

Let him go. Get counseling if you want to continue with the relationship. Nothing good can come of talking it out on your own. Too much has been said.


Absolutely not. LOL.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 02:07     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
OP, as many others are saying, figure this out before you have kids. I have a similar dynamic with my husband's family. They are all way too close and co-dependent. I spent a lot of time seeking there approval so my husband wouldn't have anything to complain about. It is never enough. Our biggest blowups have been about his family. His sister actively tries to get us to divorce. Thankfully we live far away from them and across the country from his sister but they still interfere in our marriage a few times a year. He has shown you how he will handle these situations and who he will pick when there are opposing interests between you and his family. Either you fix this through counseling or you separate.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 01:18     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I huddle before EVERY move we make with family. We agree about all of it ahead of time.


Sounds so immature.


NP. I disagree. I also talk over plans with my husband before we meet with family. That way one person isn’t expecting to leave at 7 while the other assumed they were fine staying until 11. I don’t see how planning ahead of time with each other’s schedules in mind is immature.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 01:09     Subject: Re:Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. His family tends to drink and get into drama with each other. His sister is perpetually unkind to me where she hardly acknowledges me. I was already on edge because earlier she was rude to me:

Our puppy peed on MILs floor. I got up to say oh I’m sorry let me clean it. MIL said don’t worry and started wiping it away. SIL yells at me from across the room “ yes go clean! It’s your dog!”

Then after dinner SIL and MIL were in a fight about something. I was restless as usually once drama begins it tends to drag on. I asked where MIL was and everyone said no idea. I volunteered to go find her so we could begin desert. I said, “ let’s go find her so we can start our desert before it’s too late. It’s a Sunday night.”

SIL gets angry and gets up, “ ok! Since you’re in such a rush legs all quickly eat!” And walked out. I tried to explain I didn’t mean it like that.

So on the way home husband was upset that I embarrassed the family by keeping track of time and hitting his moms feelings. That I was being selfish by making it about me.


Ok, now I don’t feel sorry for you. Look at you trashing his family. Not necessary.


This family sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 00:59     Subject: Re:Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:Op here. His family tends to drink and get into drama with each other. His sister is perpetually unkind to me where she hardly acknowledges me. I was already on edge because earlier she was rude to me:

Our puppy peed on MILs floor. I got up to say oh I’m sorry let me clean it. MIL said don’t worry and started wiping it away. SIL yells at me from across the room “ yes go clean! It’s your dog!”

Then after dinner SIL and MIL were in a fight about something. I was restless as usually once drama begins it tends to drag on. I asked where MIL was and everyone said no idea. I volunteered to go find her so we could begin desert. I said, “ let’s go find her so we can start our desert before it’s too late. It’s a Sunday night.”

SIL gets angry and gets up, “ ok! Since you’re in such a rush legs all quickly eat!” And walked out. I tried to explain I didn’t mean it like that.

So on the way home husband was upset that I embarrassed the family by keeping track of time and hitting his moms feelings. That I was being selfish by making it about me.


Ok, now I don’t feel sorry for you. Look at you trashing his family. Not necessary.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 00:58     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:DH and I huddle before EVERY move we make with family. We agree about all of it ahead of time.


Sounds so immature.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 00:46     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
OP, out of curiosity have you posted before about you and your husband's arguments. Especially pertaining to who takes the puppy out and when? Bottom line is you both sound toxic and don't fight fair. Either divorce or get counseling. Certainly don't bring kids into this level of dysfunction
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 00:42     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Father's day , so stfu
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 00:37     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
You write really well in the bathroom
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 00:29     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Work this all out through counseling or separation before you even think about having kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2021 23:49     Subject: Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is all on the wife. Some stuff you have to do and you do not get to complain. This is one of those. You have to suck it up and stay late. It is father's day for sakes. Also based on your post you probably did overlook at your watch.

Let him go. Get counseling if you want to continue with the relationship. Nothing good can come of talking it out on your own. Too much has been said.



This is probably the worst piece of advice ever given on DCUM. He's not a father. And even if he was that's not a reason to not leave his mother's house at a reasonable time after spending 6 hours with them because his mother might get upsets. It's not a reason for him to be verbally abusive to his wife. ANd most importantly wives do not just have to sit around and do whatever their husbands tell them because their husbands don't want to make mommy mad.


Yes they do. If they want to stay married. And husbands have to do the same. You do not get to do what you want once you are married, frankly even dating, when it comes to people's parents. You have to suck it up and deal secure in the knowledge that your inlaws will be dead soon enough.


Marriage comes 1st. What God joins, let no one separate. Spouse comes before parents. Unless they are paying your bills


You marry the family too. Don't think otherwise. If you hate them before you will hate they worse later.


I didn't. It's called boundaries. I married DH. Sure, I regularly interact with in laws. I knew in laws before my DH. But, we need to protect our marriage first. When you have this attitude, that is when things work better.


What does this mean?


I wasn't OP. I'm saying a happy marriage is my priority. Not happy in laws.