Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed in OP's shoes, too. It sounds like this comes down to misaligned expectations and desires.

I agree with the others that OP will be happiest if she lets go a little of the idea that the family has to do everything together.

But I think she needs to talk to her son and his family about what she wants out of this trip, too. It sounds like she wants to be busy doing things - that's how I like to travel, too - whereas they are happier taking things more slowly. Can you come to a compromise? One activity, and two meals, per day, maybe?

In order to be showered and dressed for breakfast by 8:30, in sharing-a-bathroom scenario, I’d have to start waking people up at 7:15 a.m. That’s…not fun on a vacation. That’s the daily grind. Not to mention the kids would be extra tired

I can’t believe you would be annoyed that a family is still showing up with kids in tow ON TIME to eat the free breakfast that grandparents are so desperate to consume to “get their money’s worth.”

I want all of my family members to feel well-rested and relaxed on vacation. I don’t care who pays. You want to eat early? Go do. You want morning excursions? GO DO. I can’t stand go-go-go types on vacations.

This is not a hard problem to solve. OP, get up and have breakfast when you want. If there are things you want to do, go do them. People can join or not as they want. I've had a lot of success vacationing with mine and other families and this is the only way these things can work. Forced togetherness never makes for a good time.

What place ends breakfast at 9:00am. Weird.

Early birds and night owls should not travel together especially if the expectation is doing everything together. I'm an early bird and don't travel with the late crew because I feel like they spend half the day sleeping and don't get to do as much. It's not like I go to sleep super early either, I just don't want to sleep half the day away.

I would be annoyed in OP's shoes, too. It sounds like this comes down to misaligned expectations and desires.

I agree with the others that OP will be happiest if she lets go a little of the idea that the family has to do everything together.

But I think she needs to talk to her son and his family about what she wants out of this trip, too. It sounds like she wants to be busy doing things - that's how I like to travel, too - whereas they are happier taking things more slowly. Can you come to a compromise? One activity, and two meals, per day, maybe?

Go to a leisurely breakfast and they will get there when they get there OP. Kids don't care about a leisurely breakfast.

If it was my vacation, I would be sleeping til at least 8:50 and then roll into breakfast in yesterday's clothes before I take a shower.

You eat when you want. Leave the others alone.

~grandmother

OP: The kids are almost certainly taking longer to fall asleep because vacation/the hotel/you are exciting, but they’re also exhausted because they’re doing so much, so they’re up a bit later than usual. But really with 5 and 8 year olds and the expectation that everyone is showered (in one bathroom, I assume) and dressed for the day, being ready by 8:30 probably means being up by 7:30 at the latest, because the 5 year old is not going to do all of that herself & there are 4 of them (and 2 of you). Is 7:30 really that late to get up on vacation?

Also, do you really think the 5 year old is going to sit around and have a leisurely breakfast anyway? They’re willing to eat with you, so I don’t understand in the slightest why you don’t just eat breakfast when you want and then join them for their breakfast? The extra non-eating hands would probably be a big help too.

^^Meant to say: what do you want OP to tell her son/DIL: “Well, an anonymous internet poster’s kids get up early, and early breakfast and activities sound great, so you should be that way, too?”

Anonymous wrote:It's a lake resort that DIL wanted to go to, and they probably have morning activities for the family like bird watching or fishing? So OP having paid for the full resort experience, would like her grandkids to wake up, enjoy a good breakfast, and go do the morning activities.

They didn't sign up for a long weekend at a hotel. They signed up for a resort experience with activities, at her DIL's request.

OP, my kids were always up by 6 am (annoyingly so!) so I think an early breakfast sounds great for kids!!

And? What do your kids have to do with anything? What, you want OP to tell her son’s

Also, why the fixation on the “DIL wanted to go” thing. How about reality: DIL likely didn’t WANT to go on vacation with her ILs, but in the interest of fairness, agreed to go somewhere at their request. OP then likely asked for ideas, or was at least open to suggestions, and DIL had heard about this place.

You do get that OP’s son likely knew about/co-signed the location suggestion, yes?

I don’t like vacationing with my ILs, but fair is fair, and we spend equal time vacationing with family. BUT we pay our own way always. That said, ILs want the same boring beach house every year, and finally I suggested a mountain resort instead. DH knew about and co-signed my suggestion, so he is equally responsible for that. Why always the knee-jerk reaction to lay the blame for something at the feet of the DIL?

My husband and my brother and my BIL are all individuals with their own minds who make decisions, jointly, with their wives. Who are these spineless husbands and sons and brothers of yours who apparently have no say/no agency as to what their wives ask for and expect from their families?

It's a lake resort that DIL wanted to go to, and they probably have morning activities for the family like bird watching or fishing? So OP having paid for the full resort experience, would like her grandkids to wake up, enjoy a good breakfast, and go do the morning activities.

They didn't sign up for a long weekend at a hotel. They signed up for a resort experience with activities, at her DIL's request.

OP, my kids were always up by 6 am (annoyingly so!) so I think an early breakfast sounds great for kids!!

Anonymous wrote:What kind of resort stops serving breakfast at 9:00 am on a weekend? That’s a recipe for a rushed, unpleasant start to the day for all the guests. Regardless, as others have mentioned, the non-control freak way to handle this is for OP and her DH to go down at 7:30 or 8:00 to have a leisurely breakfast and make sure they are getting their money’s worth. That way OP won’t feel so put out if she’s asked to get a juice for one of the girls. I’m not quite sure why a 5 and 8 year old would need help cutting their food, but surely we are talking about less than 90 seconds of effort on the cutting front? That leaves 20 or 30 minutes for the late arrivals to eat and discuss the day’s plan.

Plenty of places offer continental (free) fare from, say, 7-9. And if you want different food or different hours, you go to the restaurant and (gasp) P-A-Y.

OP, you seem oblivious to what a difficult year this has been for parents of young kids. Cut them some slack. You have plenty of time to sleep in. They hardly ever get to. And 8:30 is not even that late.

The point of vacation is to relax. Sleeping in is a huge partnof that.

"together time is kind of the point of a family vacation". OP you have them from what, 10 AM through dinner? That is plenty of together time. Get a grip.