Anonymous
Post 06/19/2021 08:51     Subject: How many times per week/month are you okay with your spouse going out?
Anonymous wrote:I’d be wondering why he’d want to go out without me.. as Grandma used to say, there comes a point at night when the only things that are open are legs and liquor stores. I also wouldn’t want him going out with friends who don’t value our marriage, my kid showed me a meme “I know the Bible is false, nobody over 30 has 12 friends who are free for dinner on a Thursday”. I’d be wondering why I wasn’t welcome to join or why he wouldn’t prefer to be home with me.. nobody forces anybody to get or stay married.

I also don’t believe in “doing your fair share” or “doing half the kid duties” some of you guys would say “Well, I bathed the top half of the kid, you get the bottom half” or “I drove my half of the way, slam on the breaks, jump out of the car while you’re on the highway and say “your turn!”. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of but some of you guys have a sense of fairness that borders on the absurd.


Ha! Your Grandma was kind of sassy.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2021 08:48     Subject: Re:How many times per week/month are you okay with your spouse going out?
We are empty nesters and he rarely does a guys out night. After all these years he seems to continue to like being with me. Who would have thought?
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2021 08:42     Subject: Re:How many times per week/month are you okay with your spouse going out?
Anonymous wrote:Depends on what you mean by going "out"? I go out to dinner with my friends every once in a while but my DH doesn't really do that. He goes mountain biking with a few friends on Sunday mornings.


I took OP to mean: going out to a dance club or singles bar.

Meeting old friends you already know or socializing with them is not “going out.”
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2021 07:33     Subject: How many times per week/month are you okay with your spouse going out?
Okay so I’m the one who said once a month.

I want to add that I have been told more times than I count that I am such a great wife for being okay with my husband working a really intense job. Maybe part of the reason I’m fine with it is that DH does spend so much time at home. If he were to announce he was doing a weekly whisker and cigar night with his buddies, I would say great! Time to start applying for jobs that don’t require 70-80 hours a week and that you drop everything at any time to work.

I wonder if I wasn’t okay with it would people think that was controlling? How much compromise should there be with how your spouse uses their time?
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2021 03:20     Subject: How many times per week/month are you okay with your spouse going out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:7/31. I don't parent my spouse.

But does your spouse parent? My issue would be being home alone with the kids.


OP here. I should have clarified that this is the gist of my question. How often are you cool solo parenting for your spouse’s solo social activities.


DP. As long as we coordinate, as much as he wants (or as much as I want). I think it’s a bit weird that people split their parenting time, like you have Saturday morning, I have Saturday afternoon, whatever. Our baseline is that we parent together every night and weekend. If someone wants to go out or go to the gym or whatever, it’s not a big deal.


I don’t think everyone’s baseline is that the whole family sits at home every evening and weekend. We have friends over, go to parties, work, visit family, take kids to activities, etc.
It’s fine with me if DH wants to spend Saturday morning golfing, but he’s got to let me know beforehand so that he can get a sitter if I need to work or arrange rides if two kids need to be in separate places at the same time. And really, if he started doing it every weekend, it would get to me.