Anonymous wrote:I would be ok with it for a lower rate. She has experience doing it, you could always call the other family and ask how it worked out for them. I would ask about the classes, tell her it’s part of the job and how would she handle, would she sign her kid up too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I’ve allowed two different long term nannies to bring their kids to work.

In the first situation, our nanny of 3 years started bringing her 3 elementary/tween daughters. They were sweet girls and in many ways enriched my kids lives (a baby and toddler at the time). Their mom ran a very tight ship and they were extremely well behaved and I became friendly with them too. But over time it was hard because I was full time WFM and our house was small. Also we lived close to my nanny and she constantly wanted to bring my kids to her house, which was fine, but it did become complex and I didn’t want my kids there all the time. Over time it did feel a bit like we were paying nanny rates for a more daycare like experience. But my kids were happy. The scheduling just started getting complicated and over time boundaries did erode. We eventually moved states at around the time things were becoming unmanageable. It was also just hard because there were 3 of them-even If well behaved they were loud and had some drama.

In the 2nd situation, I explicitly spelled out in my ad that the nanny COULD NOT BRING HER KIDS TO WORK. I had learned my lesson! But then COVID happened and the only way to have our nanny come was if she brought her own kids (and honestly it felt safer than them being at school or in daycare). Her kids are older than mine though-ages 9 and 12. They are wonderful and they have actually been a blessing. My 2 yo is speech delayed and has special needs and I credit the nanny’s children with helping him meet milestones. They are constantly engaging him, playing with him, etc. I really have no complaints and I’ll miss them in the fall when they are back in school. The 12 yo is so helpful that we actually pay her $2/hour for all her work. She mops and sweeps and organizes toys and folds laundry. She entertains the kids while her mom makes lunch. The 9 yo we pay $0.50 for every book he reads to my kids and some weeks he makes $10-15.


I'm sure the kid is thrilled to earn $50/week or whatever. Much more than I pay my own kids!

So it can work but helps if there’s an age gap between kids.

I am just reading this thread out of curiosity, no dog in this fight, but I think you sound awesome!

Dp. I think she sounds cheap. You should pay more esp the kid that helped you kid advance. What is this the 1970s?

Anonymous wrote:Her child accidentally injures your child, how do you feel?

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed that every woman that wants to bring her kid always says “it worked out great at my last job!”.
I highly doubt that. If it did, why are they looking for work? Most families want reliable childcare with people they get to know and trust. It’s to much of a coincidence in my book, kind of reminds me of the 1960’s song “Saturday night and I just got paid and I a’int got nobody”.. if you were doing so well in your hometown so much why did you move?

I would also not be comfortable with the fact that she didn’t tell you she wanted to bring her son until nearly the end of the interview. If she hadn’t wanted to bring him, that’s fine, but springing it on you like that “Oh by the way can I bring my son?” strikes me as manipulative. She knew exactly what she was doing and was hoping your emotions would take over, the g-rated equivalent of “thinking with the little head”.

Other people have outlined all the ways this won’t work. My experience is that the children of these caregivers do not do well. They are overtired because they don’t get the rest and play they need. Their moms generally bring them on baby-sitting gigs so they are out well past their bedtimes meaning they are a mess. They really don’t know what to expect from day to day.

If she had been your nanny before and this was a “my kid’s school has a power outage can I bring him today” or you had two boys who should have been in preschool but aren’t due to covid and both have expressed wanting a pal, maybe aid it’s a big maybe, I’d give it a try.

Remember this woman is there to work for you and to make your life easier. She’s not a friend doing you a favor. You aren’t a friend doing her a favor. This isn’t the schoolteacher who’s kid just happens to go to her school, remember there are strict rules on that too.

And, for those of you who are thinking I’m a mean horrible person, remember the nanny does have options. She can find childcare just like every other working mother has had or will have to do. She can go on welfare, no shame in that. She can start an in-home daycare or go work at a childcare center. She can find a childcare job at a kids club at a gym that might be fine with her bringing her kid. She can find the source of families who always seem to have it work out great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I’ve allowed two different long term nannies to bring their kids to work.

In the first situation, our nanny of 3 years started bringing her 3 elementary/tween daughters. They were sweet girls and in many ways enriched my kids lives (a baby and toddler at the time). Their mom ran a very tight ship and they were extremely well behaved and I became friendly with them too. But over time it was hard because I was full time WFM and our house was small. Also we lived close to my nanny and she constantly wanted to bring my kids to her house, which was fine, but it did become complex and I didn’t want my kids there all the time. Over time it did feel a bit like we were paying nanny rates for a more daycare like experience. But my kids were happy. The scheduling just started getting complicated and over time boundaries did erode. We eventually moved states at around the time things were becoming unmanageable. It was also just hard because there were 3 of them-even If well behaved they were loud and had some drama.

In the 2nd situation, I explicitly spelled out in my ad that the nanny COULD NOT BRING HER KIDS TO WORK. I had learned my lesson! But then COVID happened and the only way to have our nanny come was if she brought her own kids (and honestly it felt safer than them being at school or in daycare). Her kids are older than mine though-ages 9 and 12. They are wonderful and they have actually been a blessing. My 2 yo is speech delayed and has special needs and I credit the nanny’s children with helping him meet milestones. They are constantly engaging him, playing with him, etc. I really have no complaints and I’ll miss them in the fall when they are back in school. The 12 yo is so helpful that we actually pay her $2/hour for all her work. She mops and sweeps and organizes toys and folds laundry. She entertains the kids while her mom makes lunch. The 9 yo we pay $0.50 for every book he reads to my kids and some weeks he makes $10-15.

So it can work but helps if there’s an age gap between kids.

I am just reading this thread out of curiosity, no dog in this fight, but I think you sound awesome!

Anonymous wrote:You charge her 20 /hour for her kid

Anonymous wrote:Driving around 3 kids is too much, plus the classes etc. Too complicated.