Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re young enough with adequate grades from undergrad, go to a graduate program at an Ivy. Many people there are seeking their prospective spouses.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to struggle, I do not understand a lot of these responses.

Same here. Maybe these are bitter people who feel that women like OP would reject them because they don't make a lot of money? Or wish they had found a spouse who made more money? What OP is doing is what a lot of UMC and UC parents did for their own kids - putting them in certain social circles, introducing them to certain families, to make a "good march." In fact, I remember the old joke that so and so went to college to get her MRS degree.

I, in my modest MC way, chose my DH not just because of physical attraction, personality, commonalaties, character, and shared life goals but because he had a stable job that provided a good living making a bit more than me. It was important because we both were looking to have children in wedlock and to raise them without a lot of financial struggle. People need to be at least somewhat aware about what their potential partner makes or could make so they know if they can have the life (and lifestyle) you would like. that. Thing with sussing out if they have a lot of commercial debt and student loans,, if they are careless with spending,, if they have no plans to save for retirement. Financial strife is one of the main causes of divorce and it makes sense to want to avoid all that.

I’m actually a rich dude that wants to be valued for more than my ability to provide a nice lifestyle and a bump in social class. I’m highly grateful that I met my wife when I was broke — I dodged a lot of these striving women who are really just low key gold diggers. On a semi related note, I was happy when I was broke, and I’m happy now that I’m rich — a lot of you social climbers won’t get to experience this because you’re so focused on the material aspect of life.

+1

Standing ovation, right here.

My God, these women should be embarrassed, if they weren't so stupid, frankly.

Stop looking at what other people have, and what you "think" you deserve, and stay in your lane, and make yourself a better person inside, OP. That might help, but I doubt it.

Men don't want striver gold diggers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what bothers me the most about this thread is that, if the same woman married an NGO worker and posts on the infants/toddlers board about being hard pressed to pay for daycare, she’ll get vilified for “having kids she can’t afford to pay for”

It’s almost as though people just hate women. That can’t be right...

It's not either/or. Responsible people make their own happiness. It's part of being an adult. No one worth anything wants how OP comes across, for good reason.

Anonymous wrote:If you're dating, how can you filter for men who either have a good income or will be making so in a few years?

I work in non-profits so all the men I meet are in similar salary range to me. (60k-110k) I'd like to see if I can swing higher.

Anonymous wrote:I think what bothers me the most about this thread is that, if the same woman married an NGO worker and posts on the infants/toddlers board about being hard pressed to pay for daycare, she’ll get vilified for “having kids she can’t afford to pay for”

It’s almost as though people just hate women. That can’t be right...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re young enough with adequate grades from undergrad, go to a graduate program at an Ivy. Many people there are seeking their prospective spouses.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to struggle, I do not understand a lot of these responses.

Same here. Maybe these are bitter people who feel that women like OP would reject them because they don't make a lot of money? Or wish they had found a spouse who made more money? What OP is doing is what a lot of UMC and UC parents did for their own kids - putting them in certain social circles, introducing them to certain families, to make a "good march." In fact, I remember the old joke that so and so went to college to get her MRS degree.

I, in my modest MC way, chose my DH not just because of physical attraction, personality, commonalaties, character, and shared life goals but because he had a stable job that provided a good living making a bit more than me. It was important because we both were looking to have children in wedlock and to raise them without a lot of financial struggle. People need to be at least somewhat aware about what their potential partner makes or could make so they know if they can have the life (and lifestyle) you would like. that. Thing with sussing out if they have a lot of commercial debt and student loans,, if they are careless with spending,, if they have no plans to save for retirement. Financial strife is one of the main causes of divorce and it makes sense to want to avoid all that.

I’m actually a rich dude that wants to be valued for more than my ability to provide a nice lifestyle and a bump in social class. I’m highly grateful that I met my wife when I was broke — I dodged a lot of these striving women who are really just low key gold diggers. On a semi related note, I was happy when I was broke, and I’m happy now that I’m rich — a lot of you social climbers won’t get to experience this because you’re so focused on the material aspect of life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to say but high earning men do the filtering...not you. If they decide to find you, they will. If you're not attractive or also a high earner, then your odds are slim.

Actually no. If you are attractive and know where to look, they are easy to find. The only filtering men do is how attractive you are and if you seem crazy. If you are pretty, good personality, can hold a conversation and are interesting, and can put yourself in the right places- you will have no problem finding a “high income” man

Particularly in DC. Between K st. and the defense contractors there are plenty of men making $300k+. This isn’t a little town with only one wealthy person...

That's not high earning. Funny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take - successful people lift each other up. I met DH when I was young and in Grad School - I knew he also wanted to go to Grad School, but was not sure what he was going to do. We both had super menial jobs to support us during school, so we began with nothing. I became successful in my career first while he went to law school. We married and I supported him for a bit, and then he became very successful. I took a few years off to raise our kids and then went back to work as a p/t consultant. We have a great life. Now our oldest kid is a first year at a top law school. I'm amazed at all of the attention he gets - he's dating a woman from his undergrad that he has known for awhile and feels comfortable with - she is also a go getter but in a lower paying industry. I think he's proud that she's a hard worker and extremely compassionate and sweet (and cute), and I think he would hate the thought of somebody wanting to date him because he is going to be a lawyer.

This is completely irrelevant. OP isn't a college student anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re young enough with adequate grades from undergrad, go to a graduate program at an Ivy. Many people there are seeking their prospective spouses.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to struggle, I do not understand a lot of these responses.

Same here. Maybe these are bitter people who feel that women like OP would reject them because they don't make a lot of money? Or wish they had found a spouse who made more money? What OP is doing is what a lot of UMC and UC parents did for their own kids - putting them in certain social circles, introducing them to certain families, to make a "good march." In fact, I remember the old joke that so and so went to college to get her MRS degree.

I, in my modest MC way, chose my DH not just because of physical attraction, personality, commonalaties, character, and shared life goals but because he had a stable job that provided a good living making a bit more than me. It was important because we both were looking to have children in wedlock and to raise them without a lot of financial struggle. People need to be at least somewhat aware about what their potential partner makes or could make so they know if they can have the life (and lifestyle) you would like. that. Thing with sussing out if they have a lot of commercial debt and student loans,, if they are careless with spending,, if they have no plans to save for retirement. Financial strife is one of the main causes of divorce and it makes sense to want to avoid all that.

Anonymous wrote:Here's my take - successful people lift each other up. I met DH when I was young and in Grad School - I knew he also wanted to go to Grad School, but was not sure what he was going to do. We both had super menial jobs to support us during school, so we began with nothing. I became successful in my career first while he went to law school. We married and I supported him for a bit, and then he became very successful. I took a few years off to raise our kids and then went back to work as a p/t consultant. We have a great life. Now our oldest kid is a first year at a top law school. I'm amazed at all of the attention he gets - he's dating a woman from his undergrad that he has known for awhile and feels comfortable with - she is also a go getter but in a lower paying industry. I think he's proud that she's a hard worker and extremely compassionate and sweet (and cute), and I think he would hate the thought of somebody wanting to date him because he is going to be a lawyer.

Anonymous wrote:If you’re young enough with adequate grades from undergrad, go to a graduate program at an Ivy. Many people there are seeking their prospective spouses.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to struggle, I do not understand a lot of these responses.