Are you the same poster who wrote about his girlfriend wanting to be engaged before moving in?

Sheesh. Please stop talking to everyone around you and just talk to your girlfriend. Ask her what kind of ring she wants or take her shopping after you propose.

My husband was a very confused graduate student when the time came and picked out a diamond band (ie a wedding band) at a going out of business sale. So for months I wore a wedding band as my engagement ring and then we went shopping together to pick out our wedding bands, but for me picked out something that looks more like a traditional engagement ring. I like tradition and didn’t want a new diamond (because of conflict) so we shopped the estate sale section of a jewelry store and found a ring that looked like it could have been made to go with my band and didn’t need to be sized! Each ring cost in the range of $700. I had one tacky boss once ask why I don’t have a bigger ring and I said “because this is my style, and is what he picked out for me / what we said our vows with”. Otherwise no one has ever asked. When we first got engaged he said I could upgrade them someday, but I can’t imagine wanting to do that. My parents just celebrated 50 years and my mom said she doesn’t really wear her ring anymore and my dad gave her a different ring anyway and offered me hers. But I just feel like my simple rings are very fitting to who I am and have the connection to that time in our lives that an “upgrade” would not. Frankly during the pandemic I’ve often forgotten to put my rings on (they were part of my leaving the house routine) so I’m often ringless. (We’ve been married about 13 years)

In our case I have a friend who has a small family jewelry businesses, wife and I picked out a gorgeous *antique* ring that he had instead of buying a new one, it was actually cheaper than going to one of the usual places that people go to for diamond rings. He fitted it for her, she loves it.

My ring is a sapphire and my dh and I picked it out together. Why people spend so much money on some thing your fiancé may not like is beyond me.

Oh, and when you do go ring shopping, tell the jeweler your budget ahead of time so they can guide her towards gems in the budget.

Buy a CZ to propose with. It can be her travel set for your honeymoon. Shouldn’t travel with a nice ring anyway.

Every woman I’m close with had disclosed that they secretly dislike the ring their husband chose for them. Several of the rings involved mom or husband approval. PLEASE propose with a cheaper piece of jewelry, then go ring shopping together.

Mine is one carat, I wear it every day (23 years and counting) and would never change to larger. It has better color and clarity than what you were planning, but to each their own. My ring is not a statement or status piece, it is a piece of jewelry I wear every day to show my love and commitment.

My friends with larger rings do not wear them everyday. The diamonds get snagged on things, and they only put them on for special occasions.

Don’t do it...!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

You’re imagining the awkwardness. No one is looking at your wife’s ring.

Seriously.

Also, her boss’s boss has a smaller ring? So? My parents are multi-millionaires and my mom wears a simple gold wedding band.

Mine too. Interesting. And they've been happily married for 50+ years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several ]awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

You’re imagining the awkwardness. No one is looking at your wife’s ring.

Seriously.

⁰Also, her boss’s boss has a smaller ring? So?]My parents are multi-millionaires and my mom wears a simple gold wedding band.

This made me laugh when the OP wrote the question. "I am going to propose and I am going to buy the most boring, baisc b+tch ring ever, I'm just wondering where the basic becomes competitive and what this says about my fiance and my own dick size and career anxiety."

Get her an amethyst, OP. See how it goes and then pick a ring together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

You’re imagining the awkwardness. No one is looking at your wife’s ring.

Seriously.

Also, her boss’s boss has a smaller ring? So? My parents are multi-millionaires and my mom wears a simple gold wedding band.

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