Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:News flash to the OP - if the male friend were not physically attracted to you on some level, he would not be wasting his time.

Normally I would agree but we've never met. Have made no concrete plans to meet either.

Why are you trolling the internet for guys OP?

I'm not. He reached out to me.

How?

He messaged me on FB. We're in a lot of the same groups based on shared interests.

Op are you me? I was in a similar position after meeting someone through a common fb group and conversation just expanded to everything over the course of months. Also in a difficult marriage, but the marital status was known. Also thought about friendship being fine but to be honest it became more of a crush. Anyway. I finally cut things off. Have to focus on the marital relationship first. If you're looking for an exit, do it the right way without interference from a glorified persona you'll likely never end up with anyway. It is hard because the feelings are real but if that's meant to be, it'll happen after and without affecting a divorce.

I'm a married woman and have many guy friends from various stages in my life.I guess the difference is that I really truly love my DH deeply so there really isn't a void to fill. My guy friends each add to my life ways my girls friends don't and I value their friendships.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone knows of the relationship statuses involved. Woman is in a sad and difficult marriage but isn’t leaving for various reasons. Single guy is not hyper local (45 miles or so) but they share common interests and ethics. So he reaches out just to be friends. Is this possible?

I'm a married woman with a single man as a friend so I was coming on here to say yes, it's possible, but I'm happily married. If I weren't, it would probably be a different story.

As a married man with single female friends, some are so platonic there is zero risk, and some are "will they, won't they" and we probably won't, but it's not impossible under the right circumstances we will.

As a woman, I promise you if you are decent looking there is a high chance a single male friend wants to sleep with you.

In OPs situation. I think it is a slippery slope. In a normal marriage, of course. The majority of my closet friends are men and only half are married. However, maybe the difference is O grew up with many of them ( and there is something about going through the awkward stages of HS and College where you know someone too well) and we have been firmly cemented in the brother/sister stages.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone knows of the relationship statuses involved. Woman is in a sad and difficult marriage but isn’t leaving for various reasons. Single guy is not hyper local (45 miles or so) but they share common interests and ethics. So he reaches out just to be friends. Is this possible?

look affairs just don’t happen. It’s not like dropping a glass or saying something dumb. You have to plan it out. As long as you set boundaries and stick to them, then yes you can. And make sure tour DH is aware of everything. My rule single opposite sex friend is this. If my partner listened into our conversations or read our texts would they be upset? If the answer is yes, then you are crossing boundaries.

OP not sure if you are talking about yourself as either interested party, but from my experience I think it is INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, if not impossible, to do this successfully without any impact to either the friendship or the marriage. The exception is if the single guy friend is actually more close with the husband and the wife just happens to also be friends with him.

If your marriage is missing something you are craving -- emotional connection, compatibility/share interests, spark, lust -- it will be way too easy to find these things in your slowly deepening friendship. Please please shut that door and work on identifying what it is that's lacking in the marriage and try to devise strategies for getting it back.

-- woman in a rocky marriage who has had feelings for a single friend now for over a year