Yeah, no car. Our kid did something dumb behind the wheel a couple years ago (though no accident or injuries), and per our written family agreement, lost the car for a while. He had a job that wasn't accessible via public transport. It sucked for everybody, including me who gave him a lift a couple times. But this is a really big deal.

I’m surprised that 1) insurance didn’t drop him or raise the price considerably and 2) that a judge didn’t suspend his license.

OP, your kid is irresponsible and could have seriously injured or killed himself or someone else. Why on earth would you put him behind the wheel without serious additional training and consequences???

She should get a different job closer to home.

My kids didn’t text while driving and STILL wrecked the car. Think of their LIVES.

I haven’t read the whole thread but you do realize that teens die in auto accidents? Your teen not safe behind the wheel. To himself or others.

If he is vaccinated, he should be taking the bus. Better for him to learn his lesson and better for the environment.

Two MVAs in a year with a high school driver? Protect your child and others on the road and don’t buy another car, and pull the driver’s license (parents of minors can do that) until they have matured and completed a driver safety course. Child is not mature enough for the responsibility, you need to protect them and others. I worked in ERs for years - lots of serious accidents where kids don’t walk away, it’s not a minor financial issue - it’s health and safety.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

I would not want my kid to bike 9 miles on area roads to a job. But texting while driving is also not an option. So in order to keep both my child and others safe, I would do a combo of uber and parent driving for all necessary trips for the rest of the summer. It sucks, but that's parenting.

Right -- no car for the kid (not sure why people thought I was suggesting getting her a new car) but there are reasonable alternatives to helping your child get to her job without declaring yourself 'not your teen's taxi' and giving no consideration to the context in which she needs a ride. Of course this kid made a bad mistake, no one is disagreeing about that. Not having a car to drive all summer will seem like a pretty big consequence to a recent HS graduate who is used to having her own car. OP, I posted before (first message) and now to provide some balance in the perspectives being expressed as to how you should handle this (and good luck working this out with your DH who wants to buy your child another car to drive).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

I have teens and live in Arlington. About a quarter mile from our home, a woman and her dog were killed a few years ago by a young man who was texting while driving. OP is definitely making excuses, and you are, too.

Yep.

My kid would be quitting both jobs and figuring out another source of income for the summer. She would also be expected to figure out and present a plan that showed us that she understood the magnitude of the situation and how she was going to earn back our trust.

This was not a mistake. This was wanton and flagrant disobedience to a public safety law. She's close enough to an adult to feel the pain any other adult would feel.

Yes, this is how we would handle it in my family, too. No way would I enable the behavior by becoming her taxi. And I would not let her ride a bike or walk given the description by OP.

This young lady needs to take ownership of her predicament and she also needs to maintain her obligations to her parents by earning the same amount of money she would have with her regular jobs. She is going to have to be creative and her new plan probably will hurt a little (well, a lot). Oh well, that's what happens when you are given a responsibility and you mess it up big time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

I have teens and live in Arlington. About a quarter mile from our home, a woman and her dog were killed a few years ago by a young man who was texting while driving. OP is definitely making excuses, and you are, too.

Agreed. I wouldn't let the kid drive again for at least a year. He'd be turning in the license and coming off the insurance. I don't want to see him kill himself or anyone else. Kid can take public transport or call a cab/uber/lyft, and pay out of his wages. It'll be fine, really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

Then they'll learn their lesson very quickly when they have to miss out on stuff because of their decisions to text and drive. It's a huge safety issue and we come down hard on those. I'd feel different if the accident wasn't their fault.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

A MC family does not buy their child a car, replace it with another car and then consider buying a 3rd car all within three years. You don't need a car. You want your kids to have a car as its easier for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

I have teens and live in Arlington. About a quarter mile from our home, a woman and her dog were killed a few years ago by a young man who was texting while driving. OP is definitely making excuses, and you are, too.

Yep.

My kid would be quitting both jobs and figuring out another source of income for the summer. She would also be expected to figure out and present a plan that showed us that she understood the magnitude of the situation and how she was going to earn back our trust.

This was not a mistake. This was wanton and flagrant disobedience to a public safety law. She's close enough to an adult to feel the pain any other adult would feel.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

I have teens and live in Arlington. About a quarter mile from our home, a woman and her dog were killed a few years ago by a young man who was texting while driving. OP is definitely making excuses, and you are, too.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

I would not want my kid to bike 9 miles on area roads to a job. But texting while driving is also not an option. So in order to keep both my child and others safe, I would do a combo of uber and parent driving for all necessary trips for the rest of the summer. It sucks, but that's parenting.