It was a sleepover for a bunch of 13 and 14 year olds. I would have expected the girls to be giving each other manicures and pedicures, facials, etc. Your daughter should have said "no" to the gel polish and asked for non-gel polish. I would be anything the mom had some non-gel polish there, too.

You're freaking ridiculous.

It's not a big deal. Let it go and move on!!

This is the type of thing that makes me terrified of doing anything nice for my kid’s friends. OP, it’s not like they got matching tattoos and margaritas. Chill!

I never do my nails, but if my high school daughter and a friend wanted to dye their hair, I would just ask "is it okay with your mom, do you need to check with her?" and assume that the kid would give me an accurate answer.

You need to back off or the rest of the teenage years will be a nightmare.

It's not drugs. I would just drop it, and I am kind of uptight. This year has been horrible. This is not a big deal.

It’s fine, op. Stand down.

I was going to ask what gel nails are, but reading the responses, I think you mean a gel manicure? Like, not fake nails but rather gel paint on one’s own nails? If you do just mean gel nail paint, omg of course the host mom didn’t need to clear this with you- and frankly it seems crazy controlling to say your daugther cant use the polish so long as you arent paying for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally your daughter's fault. I'd be angry with her, not the mom. 14 is old enough to know that you already said no so she has to check with you first.

I think doing nails at a sleepover isn’t something a mom should ask a teen’s parent for permission. She’s 14! Come on! Your daughter knew you didn’t want her to get gel nails and did it anyways. You need to talk to your daughter NOT the other mom.

+1

Op, I’m an adult who has only ever had gel nails done at a salon and seen gel paint at CVS. Dis you ask DD if she used black light or just paint? If just paint, you might have found a compromise between no-salon-gel-nails and regular polish.

I have a 13 year old who loves gel nails. I hate them more than most. They aren't attractive. They are expensive. And they are unsanitary. My 13 year old knows how much I hate them. She spends hours trying to convince me that I am wrong and that she will be the single only person on this earth that keeps them sanitary. There are no words to say how much I dislike them and it is absolutely clear to me that my daughter knows that I don't approve.

That being said, if I let her go to a sleep over and the host did gel manicures, I wouldn't be mad. What a great treat for my daughter. They are not illegal. They are not immoral. I did not have to pay for them. They will grow out their course normally and she will have to deal with the discomfort if there is any. She will enjoy them for a few weeks and will really appreciate the experience.

Thing is this. The only way I can control stuff like this is if I deprive my daughter of sleepovers and activities with friends. I am not willing to do this and I am not willing to nitpick - I will save my disapproval for alcohol parties, pornography and the like.

I’m not the type of mom who does nails for my kids and their friends, but if I were, I certainly wouldn’t text to get permission to a parent for an 14-year old. Seems like an insane thing to get upset about. And if it were that big of a deal in your family, your daughter should have known. Since she called you excited about it, she clearly thought it was a money issue and was excited to get them done without you having to spend money.

Anonymous wrote:At 14, it was your daughter's decision. Now she needs to figure out how she is going to maintain them, or how to get them off when the time comes.

Exactly. If grown women want to waste time and money on gel nails and maintaining them then go for it. But my kid is a really active young teen. we just went through this at a soccer tournament with some drama with a player that spent a lot of gel nails the day before and surprise surprise - they did not last the first game and was upset and the entire team was talking of this. Why at his age do they need to be worrying about their nails when they have school and sports and a dozen other obligations?

I would let it go i this scenario but generally, I consider it counterproductive activity at this age for really active kids.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a very permissive parent, but I’m actually surprised the mom was so involved in a 8th grade slumber party. I remember when my daughters were younger, and I’d organize a craft. But by 6th grade, it’s definitely here are a million snacks, please do not stay up all night.
Painting all the girls’ nails doesn’t seem to give them much space. I don’t need to “girl talk” with DD’s friends all night.

On the upside, it sounds like there was no drinking, cigarettes, pot, etc. Count your blessings, OP!

I would be glad that a mom wad very involved with an 8th grade slumber party. Teens have plenty of alone time and I remember a lot of questionable slumber party behavior that would have been curbed with a bit more monitoring.

I’m not a very permissive parent, but I’m actually surprised the mom was so involved in a 8th grade slumber party. I remember when my daughters were younger, and I’d organize a craft. But by 6th grade, it’s definitely here are a million snacks, please do not stay up all night.
Painting all the girls’ nails doesn’t seem to give them much space. I don’t need to “girl talk” with DD’s friends all night.

On the upside, it sounds like there was no drinking, cigarettes, pot, etc. Count your blessings, OP!