Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The proper pronunciation of your name in the US is whatever you want it to be. You and the generations after you no longer live in the "home" country.

OP here — so true. My dad’s maternal cousins pronounce their name
Stevens. When people ask if they spell the name with a ph or v, the cousins will tell them neither. They spell it Szczepanski (and for our friend upthread, in the old country the government spelled it with a ń). The obituaries for this family are given with both their spelling and a phonetic English one (they are agnostic about the English spelling. Different strokes for different folks.

Anyone who has been around can easily pronounce this name. Basically you make the first consonants into an SH sound. Just pronounce it confidently and smoothly and most times you’re right.

Except cz is more like ch in English

Yes but this name is Sz. Like Szymanski and a host of names that anyone over 30 should know how to pronounce if they actually met a few people in their life. It’s like Nguyen. If you don’t know how to pronounce that in the US you haven’t met enough people.

It’s not Szymanski (Simon), it is Szczepanski (Steven). So, sh-ch.

There is a difference between mispronouncing a name and simply pronouncing it in a different accent. My last name is German and it's really not that different between the English and German, but since Germans have slightly different ways of pronouncing different letter combinations, it will sound a little different in the German. I think this is true for a lot of names. Even the Jorge example people keep using. Calling a Jorge "George" is a total mispronunciation (that's not how you say that). But someone who doesn't speak Spanish will say Jorge differently than a native Spanish speaker. And even people who speak Spanish will pronounce it slightly differently depending on their accent! That is okay.

I think it's only offensive if you act like a name is distasteful or try to fundamentally change it to suit your language. That's rude. But I don't get offended when someone says my name but accented by their native tongue. I also don't get offended if someone has trouble with aspects of my name that are hard to pronounce if you grew up speaking another language. I struggle with that too sometimes. Language is about communicating, not getting it perfect. If we understand each other, that is enough.

The correct way is the way YOU pronounce it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The proper pronunciation of your name in the US is whatever you want it to be. You and the generations after you no longer live in the "home" country.

OP here — so true. My dad’s maternal cousins pronounce their name
Stevens. When people ask if they spell the name with a ph or v, the cousins will tell them neither. They spell it Szczepanski (and for our friend upthread, in the old country the government spelled it with a ń). The obituaries for this family are given with both their spelling and a phonetic English one (they are agnostic about the English spelling. Different strokes for different folks.

Anyone who has been around can easily pronounce this name. Basically you make the first consonants into an SH sound. Just pronounce it confidently and smoothly and most times you’re right.

Except cz is more like ch in English

Yes but this name is Sz. Like Szymanski and a host of names that anyone over 30 should know how to pronounce if they actually met a few people in their life. It’s like Nguyen. If you don’t know how to pronounce that in the US you haven’t met enough people.

Anonymous wrote:Ehhh, I think this is a uniquely American worry.

I am a Russian immigrant with a name that is NBD in Russian but is close to impossible for an American to pronounce properly - some of the letters in it don't even have an English equivalent and I have never met an American who could pronounce it properly.

Who cares and why does it matter? Most Russians would have problems with some American names, also - it's just common sense that it's easiest for people to pronounce names correctly when it's closer to what they are familiar with. Mispronouncing is not a sign of bad intention or some craven and wrong desire to fit in but just most people not spending too much energy on something that really isn't that important.

I never thought it was such a big deal until some people started labeling it a microaggression.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The proper pronunciation of your name in the US is whatever you want it to be. You and the generations after you no longer live in the "home" country.

OP here — so true. My dad’s maternal cousins pronounce their name
Stevens. When people ask if they spell the name with a ph or v, the cousins will tell them neither. They spell it Szczepanski (and for our friend upthread, in the old country the government spelled it with a ń). The obituaries for this family are given with both their spelling and a phonetic English one (they are agnostic about the English spelling. Different strokes for different folks.

Anyone who has been around can easily pronounce this name. Basically you make the first consonants into an SH sound. Just pronounce it confidently and smoothly and most times you’re right.

Except cz is more like ch in English

Ehhh, I think this is a uniquely American worry.

I am a Russian immigrant with a name that is NBD in Russian but is close to impossible for an American to pronounce properly - some of the letters in it don't even have an English equivalent and I have never met an American who could pronounce it properly.

Who cares and why does it matter? Most Russians would have problems with some American names, also - it's just common sense that it's easiest for people to pronounce names correctly when it's closer to what they are familiar with. Mispronouncing is not a sign of bad intention or some craven and wrong desire to fit in but just most people not spending too much energy on something that really isn't that important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The proper pronunciation of your name in the US is whatever you want it to be. You and the generations after you no longer live in the "home" country.

OP here — so true. My dad’s maternal cousins pronounce their name
Stevens. When people ask if they spell the name with a ph or v, the cousins will tell them neither. They spell it Szczepanski (and for our friend upthread, in the old country the government spelled it with a ń). The obituaries for this family are given with both their spelling and a phonetic English one (they are agnostic about the English spelling. Different strokes for different folks.

Anyone who has been around can easily pronounce this name. Basically you make the first consonants into an SH sound. Just pronounce it confidently and smoothly and most times you’re right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK we pronounce our surnames — sometimes even our forenames — the way we want to pronounce them. Sometimes the spelling is altered to make it easier for native English speakers (here in the JS).But some of us have lost any knowledge of how to pronounce those names properly. I think of this every time I see a thread about something like this: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/959483.page

I see this a lot by the second or third generation of American-born people from my ethnic background. Sometimes the people will know the proper pronunciation but choose not to use it. Some know it should be pronounced differently but don’t really remember or know anymore.

Can you properly pronounce your surname?

The proper pronunciation of my surname is the one my family agreed upon. We're not from the country it comes from. We don't speak that language. We're from a different, third country. My great grandparents left the country the name came from more than a hundred years ago and never maintained ties to it. Our family has no cultural connection to that country. So the proper pronunciation in English is the way we've chosen to say it, closer to our home language even if that's not the language the name is technically in.

It's our name, we get to choose the proper way.

Lay off the Monster buddy.

Anonymous wrote:Our Germanic, ‘W’ initial name should be pronounced with a ‘v’ sound. That’s just silly in an English speaking country.

Too true.

Anonymous wrote:The proper pronunciation of your name in the US is whatever you want it to be. You and the generations after you no longer live in the "home" country.

OP here — so true. My dad’s maternal cousins pronounce their name
Stevens. When people ask if they spell the name with a ph or v, the cousins will tell them neither. They spell it Szczepanski (and for our friend upthread, in the old country the government spelled it with a ń). The obituaries for this family are given with both their spelling and a phonetic English one (they are agnostic about the English spelling. Different strokes for different folks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should also give an example:

Chojnacki should be pronounced hoy-NOTS-key but I know a family that now pronounces it cho-JHA-knack-ee. If you know them, you know how they pronounce the name, but I see some of them get their noses bent out of shape when near strangers see the name and pronounce it properly.

I also worked with someone about 10 years ago named Jorge who pronounced his name George not hoar-hay.

Is that a popular polish last name? I know someone with that last name -- they pronounce it the first way.
I know a Jorge who goes by George.
And i've been told by my immigrant husband that i don't pronounce our last name correctly. it wasn't a criticism, he just mentioned it in passing.

It is Polish. It’s not a too 50 name but not unheard of either. Some names are just hard to pronounce if you’re not a native speaker of the name’s language of origin. Hopefully your in-laws are as cool as your DH about your pronunciation. I know some parents don’t like it when their children use a different pronunciation. I think my sons will split the difference on their surname’s pronunciation. My older middle schooler gets upset when people pronounce it differently, my other MSer just likes the road of least resistance, so some of his friends know him by a different pronunciation.

The proper pronunciation of your name in the US is whatever you want it to be. You and the generations after you no longer live in the "home" country.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is really hard for americans because it has a silent b at the end.

L-a-m-b

Pretty sure I can pronounce it like my forefathers tho.

Is that with a short or long a?

OMG burned.

Anonymous wrote:I should also give an example:

Chojnacki should be pronounced hoy-NOTS-key but I know a family that now pronounces it cho-JHA-knack-ee. If you know them, you know how they pronounce the name, but I see some of them get their noses bent out of shape when near strangers see the name and pronounce it properly.

I also worked with someone about 10 years ago named Jorge who pronounced his name George not hoar-hay.

Is that a popular polish last name? I know someone with that last name -- they pronounce it the first way.
I know a Jorge who goes by George.
And i've been told by my immigrant husband that i don't pronounce our last name correctly. it wasn't a criticism, he just mentioned it in passing.