Anonymous
Post 03/22/2021 08:06     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That’s insane. I assume you said no, full stop?


We sure did. We got slammed with "it's the pandemic, we are all in this together, have some compassion".


That’s a load of BS.

Can’t imagine having a small house and stuff in 2-3x the people because of a selfish bully adult sibling. Tell her to rent from a neighbor and you’ll see her out on the lake.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2021 08:04     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Once we retired we did our new nice furnitures in and don’t rent it out. Rental properties or Airbnb are totally different mindset and furniture.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2021 08:03     Subject: Property and...extended family?
We have a great seasonal lake house. We never had nice stuff in it due to kids and people over and then the moocher a started. First they wanted to keep a boat there and just use the outside, but needed a key. Then they’d have their own parties there when we were away or busy and the toilets clogs and stuff stopped working and neighbors called about being parked in. Wear and tear everywhere.

No one keeps care of a place well that they don’t own. Heck some homeowners can’t keep cars of their own stuff either.

Your SIL with the four kids and dogs and spouse or boyfriend and friends needs to grow up and get her own living arrangements. Stop enabling her and stop losing control of your house and boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2021 07:58     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:DH and I own a house on a lake that we built from scratch, invested a lot of time and resources. No one from his side of the family ever contributed. With COVID, his siblings decided that the house is FAMILY house and started asking to stay there. We declined at first because we moved in there when schools closed and we all worked remote. We didn't want to be in DC with all that craziness. They pouted because a few of them live in apartments, kids don't have their own space and our house is big. It's big enough for 4 of us, that's how we wanted it. Had they contributed from the beginning, then maybe we would've built a bigger house. Now one of them is asking very firmly to move in there this summer for 3 months. Rent free. With her 4 kids and 2 dogs.

So I guess my question is...what is up with all the mooching? You don't contribute, you don't get your piece of the pie...I am just astonished that 40+ year old people are so entitled.


Hell No.

It’s your lake house and it’s a beautiful summer lake house.

Your DH needs to consistently tell them no. No guests free or paying when you’re not there. Get a security system, nest can or ringcam, and have the neighbors call about any activity.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2021 22:50     Subject: Re:Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:Are you going to be there the whole time? If not, then why can't you let them be there some of the time that you're not. Your post is nice enough but you keep bringing up the fact that you wanted them to go in on it with you so now, frankly, you're sounding very retaliatory.

We have a second home so I get it that you get a lot of requests. If we're not using the house then we let family members stay there. As long as they're good caretakers of our property and return it to us the way we left it (or better as happened when a cousin's husband did some major plantings that we had discussed in casual conversation but never undertaken) then we're fine.

When your post mentions less about 'they had the opportunity' and more about other reasons then you'll get a pass from me. Otherwise like I said you sound like you're being retaliatory.


With the displayed entitlement with this family I would be concerned that they wouldn't leave on the agreed upon dates and then try to guilt-trip them.

Say no and be done with it, OP. They had their chance and didn't take it. You can direct them to a local realtor or website to find a rental. And don't feel bad about it. It's amazing how much people will take advantage!
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2021 19:37     Subject: Property and...extended family?
We have a second home and family uses it often. I don’t mind.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2021 21:25     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not to derail, but what if someone offers? A friend has a vacation place in a highly sought after seasonal resort area. They rent it out for many weeks in-season, but get few, if any, rentals in the off-season, though it's still a very fun place to go.

A month or so ago, they offered to let us use it during the off-season. It turns out that we may have the opportunity to go, and we're thinking of taking them up on it. It's not a place we typically would go off-season, but it'll be fun, and relaxing.

So, would it be rude to say, "Hey, remember when you offered your place? We'd like to take you up on that."


Only if you offer to pay.


Hmm. That's the thing - if we have to pay for a place to stay, there are other places we'd rather go. Part of the appeal is that it is free lodging. And even if we were going to go to that location, this is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

I didn't interpret the offer as a solicitation to rent, and I doubt they meant it that way. This is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

We definitely would offer to pay for the cleaning fee, for their regular cleaner.


You're fine. We own a beach house and would offer it for free to friends and family who we trust (meaning responsible people who won't trash the place) in the off season. I'd be offended if you offered to pay. The only thing we'd ask is that you cover the cleaning cost, which you've indicated that you'll do. So it's all good. It's beneficial to the owners too since they wouldn't want the house to sit empty.


Wouldn't they rather actually rent it out at market value? At some point, it costs money to leet someone rent for below market - it's not worth the hassle to practically give it away.


I don't understand where you're coming from here. If they offered for you to use it for free, believe them. People don't just go around lying about things like that.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2021 21:14     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:Is something else going on?

Because if we had a second home, we would let friends and family use it when we weren't there, and if we knew they wouldn't trash it. Two very important criteria! For us it's not that anyone contributed or not (what a strange thought!), what's important is that they don't damage the house or furnishings. So if the dog is going to scratch up the floors, then no. If the kids are going to smear stuff on the walls, then no. But if it's a nice family who will clean up after themselves, then why not? It's the nice thing to do, pandemic or no pandemic.

If you really want to stick it to them, you could ask for a donation for upkeep or something...


The relatives want to move in for the summer!

First, op said they are living at the house currently. But even if they weren't, I would HATE coming to MY vacation house already occupied and lived-in my relatives.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2021 14:43     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:OP is lucky, since she’s the sole owner and can simply say “no” to the relatives. They can pout all they want, but there’s nothing they can do about it.

What’s tougher is if siblings or other family members inherit a house together. That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. My wife and her three siblings will inherit an expensive beach house from her parents. It’s already looking like it’ll lead to a huge fight. Her brother’s wife and I have already said we are not agreeing to sign any mortgages or other documents that would impose financial burdens on us. We’re both hoping the siblings wise up and sell the place.


I understand your sentiment but it is sad. I grew up near a beach town and everyone owned beach houses. There are lots of memories for the families in those homes and several friends are facing this now. The 2nd generation owners get pressure to sell from the non local family members. I don't know why but a lot won't even consider a buy out.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2021 14:40     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not to derail, but what if someone offers? A friend has a vacation place in a highly sought after seasonal resort area. They rent it out for many weeks in-season, but get few, if any, rentals in the off-season, though it's still a very fun place to go.

A month or so ago, they offered to let us use it during the off-season. It turns out that we may have the opportunity to go, and we're thinking of taking them up on it. It's not a place we typically would go off-season, but it'll be fun, and relaxing.

So, would it be rude to say, "Hey, remember when you offered your place? We'd like to take you up on that."


Only if you offer to pay.


Hmm. That's the thing - if we have to pay for a place to stay, there are other places we'd rather go. Part of the appeal is that it is free lodging. And even if we were going to go to that location, this is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

I didn't interpret the offer as a solicitation to rent, and I doubt they meant it that way. This is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

We definitely would offer to pay for the cleaning fee, for their regular cleaner.


You're fine. We own a beach house and would offer it for free to friends and family who we trust (meaning responsible people who won't trash the place) in the off season. I'd be offended if you offered to pay. The only thing we'd ask is that you cover the cleaning cost, which you've indicated that you'll do. So it's all good. It's beneficial to the owners too since they wouldn't want the house to sit empty.


I know lots of people who own beach houses and I've had the use of many. Spouse and I almost bought one. No one is ever offended when someone offers to pay. I think you are a troll who has no clue. Everyone I know has problems with their family and friends abusing their second homes.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2021 09:59     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not to derail, but what if someone offers? A friend has a vacation place in a highly sought after seasonal resort area. They rent it out for many weeks in-season, but get few, if any, rentals in the off-season, though it's still a very fun place to go.

A month or so ago, they offered to let us use it during the off-season. It turns out that we may have the opportunity to go, and we're thinking of taking them up on it. It's not a place we typically would go off-season, but it'll be fun, and relaxing.

So, would it be rude to say, "Hey, remember when you offered your place? We'd like to take you up on that."


Only if you offer to pay.


Hmm. That's the thing - if we have to pay for a place to stay, there are other places we'd rather go. Part of the appeal is that it is free lodging. And even if we were going to go to that location, this is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

I didn't interpret the offer as a solicitation to rent, and I doubt they meant it that way. This is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

We definitely would offer to pay for the cleaning fee, for their regular cleaner.


You're fine. We own a beach house and would offer it for free to friends and family who we trust (meaning responsible people who won't trash the place) in the off season. I'd be offended if you offered to pay. The only thing we'd ask is that you cover the cleaning cost, which you've indicated that you'll do. So it's all good. It's beneficial to the owners too since they wouldn't want the house to sit empty.


Wouldn't they rather actually rent it out at market value? At some point, it costs money to leet someone rent for below market - it's not worth the hassle to practically give it away.


I'm the pp your quoted. I think both the OP and I are talking about off season only. During summer months it's very easy to rent it out and the rental is high enough to cover costs. But in the off season it's just not worth the hassle to get it ready for rental for a much lower rate. We'd of course only offer it to people we know and trust. They'd still get enjoyment out of it and it makes us happy too.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2021 07:38     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not to derail, but what if someone offers? A friend has a vacation place in a highly sought after seasonal resort area. They rent it out for many weeks in-season, but get few, if any, rentals in the off-season, though it's still a very fun place to go.

A month or so ago, they offered to let us use it during the off-season. It turns out that we may have the opportunity to go, and we're thinking of taking them up on it. It's not a place we typically would go off-season, but it'll be fun, and relaxing.

So, would it be rude to say, "Hey, remember when you offered your place? We'd like to take you up on that."


Only if you offer to pay.


Hmm. That's the thing - if we have to pay for a place to stay, there are other places we'd rather go. Part of the appeal is that it is free lodging. And even if we were going to go to that location, this is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

I didn't interpret the offer as a solicitation to rent, and I doubt they meant it that way. This is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

We definitely would offer to pay for the cleaning fee, for their regular cleaner.


You're fine. We own a beach house and would offer it for free to friends and family who we trust (meaning responsible people who won't trash the place) in the off season. I'd be offended if you offered to pay. The only thing we'd ask is that you cover the cleaning cost, which you've indicated that you'll do. So it's all good. It's beneficial to the owners too since they wouldn't want the house to sit empty.


Wouldn't they rather actually rent it out at market value? At some point, it costs money to leet someone rent for below market - it's not worth the hassle to practically give it away.


Not PP, but absolutely not. Random tenants could trash the place. Also, it’s a ton of work to prep a home for rental if you do it to minimize wear and damage. I’d offer to a trusted family member or friends rather than do this.

It sounds to me like they are offering to house sit. Do you plan to be there during this time? Do you trust that they will take good care of the property? If so, I’d be grateful for the house sitting offer. If I was going to be there, I’d say, no, we will be using it at that time, but I’ll keep you in mind the next time it’s vacant.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2021 17:00     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not to derail, but what if someone offers? A friend has a vacation place in a highly sought after seasonal resort area. They rent it out for many weeks in-season, but get few, if any, rentals in the off-season, though it's still a very fun place to go.

A month or so ago, they offered to let us use it during the off-season. It turns out that we may have the opportunity to go, and we're thinking of taking them up on it. It's not a place we typically would go off-season, but it'll be fun, and relaxing.

So, would it be rude to say, "Hey, remember when you offered your place? We'd like to take you up on that."


Only if you offer to pay.


Hmm. That's the thing - if we have to pay for a place to stay, there are other places we'd rather go. Part of the appeal is that it is free lodging. And even if we were going to go to that location, this is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

I didn't interpret the offer as a solicitation to rent, and I doubt they meant it that way. This is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

We definitely would offer to pay for the cleaning fee, for their regular cleaner.


You're fine. We own a beach house and would offer it for free to friends and family who we trust (meaning responsible people who won't trash the place) in the off season. I'd be offended if you offered to pay. The only thing we'd ask is that you cover the cleaning cost, which you've indicated that you'll do. So it's all good. It's beneficial to the owners too since they wouldn't want the house to sit empty.


Wouldn't they rather actually rent it out at market value? At some point, it costs money to leet someone rent for below market - it's not worth the hassle to practically give it away.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2021 15:05     Subject: Property and...extended family?
OP is lucky, since she’s the sole owner and can simply say “no” to the relatives. They can pout all they want, but there’s nothing they can do about it.

What’s tougher is if siblings or other family members inherit a house together. That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. My wife and her three siblings will inherit an expensive beach house from her parents. It’s already looking like it’ll lead to a huge fight. Her brother’s wife and I have already said we are not agreeing to sign any mortgages or other documents that would impose financial burdens on us. We’re both hoping the siblings wise up and sell the place.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2021 14:32     Subject: Property and...extended family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not to derail, but what if someone offers? A friend has a vacation place in a highly sought after seasonal resort area. They rent it out for many weeks in-season, but get few, if any, rentals in the off-season, though it's still a very fun place to go.

A month or so ago, they offered to let us use it during the off-season. It turns out that we may have the opportunity to go, and we're thinking of taking them up on it. It's not a place we typically would go off-season, but it'll be fun, and relaxing.

So, would it be rude to say, "Hey, remember when you offered your place? We'd like to take you up on that."


Only if you offer to pay.


Hmm. That's the thing - if we have to pay for a place to stay, there are other places we'd rather go. Part of the appeal is that it is free lodging. And even if we were going to go to that location, this is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

I didn't interpret the offer as a solicitation to rent, and I doubt they meant it that way. This is a 4 BR place where there are only two of us traveling (kids will be occupied this summer).

We definitely would offer to pay for the cleaning fee, for their regular cleaner.


You're fine. We own a beach house and would offer it for free to friends and family who we trust (meaning responsible people who won't trash the place) in the off season. I'd be offended if you offered to pay. The only thing we'd ask is that you cover the cleaning cost, which you've indicated that you'll do. So it's all good. It's beneficial to the owners too since they wouldn't want the house to sit empty.