Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wedding time was extremely stressful and traumatic. We were a mixed race-interfaith couple and neither set of families were happy about our union. We also did not have money for a wedding. We put something together last minute and it was stressful and just not fun. If I could do it over, I'd have just eloped.

Mixed race couple here too. Awful wedding for the same reason — unsupportive relatives. One of the saddest days of my life. I’ve been burdened with hateful white in laws ever since and the marriage is totally not worth having to tolerate these people’s existence. I do my best to dissuade people of color from getting married to white people now.

So all white people are bigots because your inlaws are? OK.

PP here. It’s not worth dealing with the many of you who are overt, covert, active aggressive, passive aggressive, and other variations of racist. Those of you who consider yourself the “good ones” almost never are. Life’s too short to waste on people who have such unearned privilege, yet are inculcated with such hate. You can be mad if you want.

Why did you marry a white guy if you rabidly hate white people so badly? Does your white husband meet your impossible standard for a non-racist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wedding time was extremely stressful and traumatic. We were a mixed race-interfaith couple and neither set of families were happy about our union. We also did not have money for a wedding. We put something together last minute and it was stressful and just not fun. If I could do it over, I'd have just eloped.

Mixed race couple here too. Awful wedding for the same reason — unsupportive relatives. One of the saddest days of my life. I’ve been burdened with hateful white in laws ever since and the marriage is totally not worth having to tolerate these people’s existence. I do my best to dissuade people of color from getting married to white people now.

So all white people are bigots because your inlaws are? OK.

PP here. It’s not worth dealing with the many of you who are overt, covert, active aggressive, passive aggressive, and other variations of racist. Those of you who consider yourself the “good ones” almost never are. Life’s too short to waste on people who have such unearned privilege, yet are inculcated with such hate. You can be mad if you want.

You have your own issues with hate and bigotry, honey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wedding time was extremely stressful and traumatic. We were a mixed race-interfaith couple and neither set of families were happy about our union. We also did not have money for a wedding. We put something together last minute and it was stressful and just not fun. If I could do it over, I'd have just eloped.

Mixed race couple here too. Awful wedding for the same reason — unsupportive relatives. One of the saddest days of my life. I’ve been burdened with hateful white in laws ever since and the marriage is totally not worth having to tolerate these people’s existence. I do my best to dissuade people of color from getting married to white people now.

So all white people are bigots because your inlaws are? OK.

PP here. It’s not worth dealing with the many of you who are overt, covert, active aggressive, passive aggressive, and other variations of racist. Those of you who consider yourself the “good ones” almost never are. Life’s too short to waste on people who have such unearned privilege, yet are inculcated with such hate. You can be mad if you want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wedding time was extremely stressful and traumatic. We were a mixed race-interfaith couple and neither set of families were happy about our union. We also did not have money for a wedding. We put something together last minute and it was stressful and just not fun. If I could do it over, I'd have just eloped.

Mixed race couple here too. Awful wedding for the same reason — unsupportive relatives. One of the saddest days of my life. I’ve been burdened with hateful white in laws ever since and the marriage is totally not worth having to tolerate these people’s existence. I do my best to dissuade people of color from getting married to white people now.

So all white people are bigots because your inlaws are? OK.

I was 7 weeks pregnant (intentionally) and sick as a dog for our wedding. I only made it through in one piece thanks to Zofran. DH’s parents, divorced, mercifully didn’t throw punches at each other, but the jury was out on that one until the last possible minute. My sister, who was in the wedding party and is addicted to alcohol, pounded two beers right after the ceremony and then did barrel rolls down a hill. I remember getting pictures taken and seeing her rolling down the hill, covered in grass and dirt. Did I mention we hadn’t taken pictures with the bridal party yet?

The only thing I really regret is we had a friend of DH’s take the pictures and while he did his best, he doesn’t have the right personality for a wedding photographer. We had one of my bridesmaids, who does have that personality and a side gig as a photographer, take some a few years later, but I do wish we’d done something different at the time. We paid for everything ourselves, though, and so money was tight.

I’m still really happy I married DH, and overall it was a fun day, but yeah, not at all perfect.

I think the question is who did?

Florist backed into a brick wall in the driveway and knocked it down (reception for 250 at home in a field), painter had a gallon of white paint fall out of his truck all over the black top driveway, there was a wreck outside the church as we were leaving for the reception (people were ok). It was a blast. Friends still talk about it.

My wedding and especially the reception were really great. The marriage is eh at best though so take comfort in that.

Anonymous wrote:I found the wedding planning very stressful, and I also don't like being the center of attention. If I could do it over, I would have eloped too.

Same

It’s funny, I remember a few special moments from my wedding day but have forgotten a lot of it. Thank god we were married before Pinterest and IG existed or I definitely would have been into making my wedding as perfect as possible. All we had when I was married (2003) was The Knot message boards, basically a bunch of brides arguing about their dresses etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband went to this wedding. The Groom had been married before. The Bride had not been married before. The Best Man stood up and toasted the couple, "It's always a pleasure to come to one of John's weddings"

I would find this kind of funny, actually. But I suppose it depends on the type of wedding and your sense of humor.

One of my aunts couldn’t make it to my wedding and the next time I saw her she apologized and said “i promise I’ll be there for your second marriage!”

I still find this hilarious

Anonymous wrote:My husband went to this wedding. The Groom had been married before. The Bride had not been married before. The Best Man stood up and toasted the couple, "It's always a pleasure to come to one of John's weddings"

My husband got wasted before we even said out vows.

He grabbed his friend's wife's ass in front of everyone at the reception.

He stayed behind to continue drinking when it was over and I went home alone. Had to be carried up our stairs and laid down in our kitchen by one of his friends. He spent the night on our kitchen floor.

His mom wasn't invited since she had been viciously toxic toward me for years. I think that may have something to do with why he behaved the way he did, unhealthy enmeshment.

The good news is that he doesn't drink anymore.

having attended a few zoom weddings in the past year I wonder if the ridiculous trend toward huge, expensive and stressful weddings will die out, or at least lessen. I mean, I had a nice wedding, nothing major went wrong, we had 80 people, so it was big, but not huge, no wedding party, but in the end, we could have done a supremely simple ceremony, thrown a party at a restaurant at some point and used that money for something else and it would have made no difference in our marriage.

My husband's mother got angry that we called to inquire about her whereabouts (she was overdue at the church by this point) and called my cell, threatening me and calling me every name in the book (at the top of her lungs), just as I was getting into my wedding dress. I had to have my eye makeup reapplied for photos. Then, as we were departing, we had elected to have guests blow bubbles at us. My husband's cousin's son walked right up to me and flung at least 2 vials of bubbles right into my eyes as we were almost to the limo. Had to go back to the bathroom and have both eyes flushed out. TBH, it took me a while to feel better about all this. Still married though, and happily.

My husband went to this wedding. The Groom had been married before. The Bride had not been married before. The Best Man stood up and toasted the couple, "It's always a pleasure to come to one of John's weddings"