My DD loves horses, and rides whenever she has the chance, but she generally only does at a horse farm near my mom's place in FL. She seems to remember enough from year to year, but she doesn't jump.

She's done a couple horseback riding camps here, but they are generally way too far for us to commit to driving during the week, and she had other interests that she wanted to explore closer to home -- dance, softball, music, etc..
If we lived closer to the country, she would absolutely be that kid mucking the stalls and picking up horse poop -- she's done it at the barn in FL. But, she understood at a fairly young age that it just wasn't do-able for us - we lived in a townhouse in Arlington at the time.

DD rides and shows a bit. We partial-lease a horse. Our yearly cost is about $27,000. I think this is the bare minimum. The majority of the other girls at the barn own or full lease. We have told DD that we cannot afford more than this. She LOVES horses and has never complained and feels like she is part of the barn team and enjoys spending time there. In addition to the money, there is a lot of driving to the barn as well as shows, which are a full-day event in some faraway place.

OP: go have your daughter take lessons from several different coaches and then pick the one she likes most. Tell them that you would like her to go at a more intense pace and ask for ad many lessons per week as you can afford. As you get into it more, you might adjust, maybe get a different coach or skate at a different rink. But you can just start there.

You know, for most families, all of these things are occasional treats. That's just the way it is. So, you explain to her that she can pursue one, and the other two will be occasional, just-for-fun activities. Given global warming and the fact that you live in NYC, I'd suggest skiing is the first one to get the "once or twice a year, honey" treatment.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What lovely, helpful replies. Thank you all.

One reason these specific activities stuck is that DD is an introvert and not high energy. We tried soccer (she cried the first time someone stole the ball and she walks most of the time). We tried basketball (she's bottom 1% for height, so she was understandably frustrated).

I wonder if maybe I should push harder to get her into a group sport. I'm torn. Am I pushing a round peg into a square hole? Or am I expanding her horizons and pushing her to grow?

She truly loves horseback riding, in particular. But I'm in NYC, and we'll never be able to make it out to the barn more than 1x/week. We'll never be able to afford to buy a horse. So I'm inclined to agree w/other PPs that maybe it's time to let this one go.

Stop trying to force team sports. Let her just do whatever she likes that you can afford that keeps her body moving. There's NOTHING MAGICAL about team sports. People think team sports taught them all these important lessons, but they don't seem to realize they'd have learned those anyway.

Do you know who doesn't take her kid horseback riding? Those that know they don't have money for it! So, if you have the money for it, why not?
If you don't, are you trying to be a wasp or some other insanity?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it less often? Horses aren’t like figure skating in that you don’t need to be putting in major hours to get to a nice comfortable amateur level.

Not accurate at all.

You are ridiculous. I replied on the last page about how rewarding my low-level riding has been. Sure I'm not eventing in Florida right now but it has gotten me some amazing experiences.

So, she didn't like soccer, softball, and local gymnastics? Or are you a snob who only took her to pricey sports?

I was a competitive figure skater. Time at the rink was what I lived and breathed. It didn't matter what I was doing, I wanted to be near the ice. My parents couldn't afford the crazy costs so I had to be willing to help out. That meant babysitting to pay for lessons, excelling in school, and eventually working at the rink. I had to be willing to transport myself to the rink on the public bus when they couldn't take me. I did group lessons and public sessions. I knew I was never going to the olympics. We didn't have the money and I couldn't afford all the extras that go with it. But none of that mattered. As long as I was at the rink, I was happy.

In short, I had to show my parents that I was committed to this in order for them to support me. What is your daughter committed to? As someone else said, are they willing to muck stalls? Are they willing to work in the ski shop? Are they willing to teach others to ski? Would they be willing to take a longer child skiing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

she's bottom 1% for height, so she was understandably frustrated

I am one of the PPs with a competitive figure skater. I tried so hard to get her into team sports. She begged for skating lessons for a year before I signed her up (she was 7, which is late to start in the figure skating world). She loves it and is actually pretty talented despite not being good at team sports.

My daughter is in the bottom 5% for height. Figure skating loves tiny girls. My daughter's skating friends look 2-3 years younger than their actual age. It does not have to be intensely competitive - plenty of girls skate 2 to 3 times a week and compete recreationally or not at all. If you are looking for something team oriented, there is synchro and Theater on Ice. It is not Olympics or nothing.

It sounds like you are/your daughter is more interested in horseback riding, but if you have any questions about local rinks or how to get started with skating, please feel free to ask.

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

OP did you read my reply about riding once a week? Its on the last page. Don't listen to the Negative Nancy PP above

If you have a tiny daughter and you are in NYC, look into ballet or gymnastics. Both are good physical training and can be as competitive OR NOT as you want.

I did all that free in Soviet Union. I'd do all free but in moderation for enjoyment.

Anonymous wrote:

she's bottom 1% for height, so she was understandably frustrated

I am one of the PPs with a competitive figure skater. I tried so hard to get her into team sports. She begged for skating lessons for a year before I signed her up (she was 7, which is late to start in the figure skating world). She loves it and is actually pretty talented despite not being good at team sports.

My daughter is in the bottom 5% for height. Figure skating loves tiny girls. My daughter's skating friends look 2-3 years younger than their actual age. It does not have to be intensely competitive - plenty of girls skate 2 to 3 times a week and compete recreationally or not at all. If you are looking for something team oriented, there is synchro and Theater on Ice. It is not Olympics or nothing.

It sounds like you are/your daughter is more interested in horseback riding, but if you have any questions about local rinks or how to get started with skating, please feel free to ask.

Op here. Yes would love to hear more about skating! Our local rink has a good ice hockey program, which is a terrible fit. So we do privates when every few weeks (different instructors/not a program/patchwork). She said she's like to do more, but I don't really know where to start. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:Do it less often? Horses aren’t like figure skating in that you don’t need to be putting in major hours to get to a nice comfortable amateur level.

Not accurate at all.

The others are peanuts versus riding.