Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 11:13     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:On one hand, you are the employer, so it seems like your employee should abide by your comfort zone (as long as it is legal). BUT, what if you wanted her to wear a veil in your home, that would be going too far in my opinion.

How about your hire a cleaning person through an agency (which usually protects them and you more anyway, in terms of benefits/being bonded, etc). When you first put in the request, explain that due to your cultural/religious beliefs/customs, you would appreciate it if the person they send does not wear X, Y, Z (don't label it as modest, be specific, since "modest" is subjective). That way you are describing a work requirement, not insulting an individual.


Wrong. OP is not the employer. The cleaning person may clean 10-15 different houses. Does that mean she has 10-15 “employers”? The cleaning person is likely either self employed or “employed” by a cleaning company?
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 11:09     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:On one hand, you are the employer, so it seems like your employee should abide by your comfort zone (as long as it is legal). BUT, what if you wanted her to wear a veil in your home, that would be going too far in my opinion.

How about your hire a cleaning person through an agency (which usually protects them and you more anyway, in terms of benefits/being bonded, etc). When you first put in the request, explain that due to your cultural/religious beliefs/customs, you would appreciate it if the person they send does not wear X, Y, Z (don't label it as modest, be specific, since "modest" is subjective). That way you are describing a work requirement, not insulting an individual.


Why do people keep saying that OP is the employer? It sounds like this is a cleaning lady, not a full-time housekeeper. So OP is not the employer.


Ok. OP is the client. It’s still a reasonable request.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 11:04     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:On one hand, you are the employer, so it seems like your employee should abide by your comfort zone (as long as it is legal). BUT, what if you wanted her to wear a veil in your home, that would be going too far in my opinion.

How about your hire a cleaning person through an agency (which usually protects them and you more anyway, in terms of benefits/being bonded, etc). When you first put in the request, explain that due to your cultural/religious beliefs/customs, you would appreciate it if the person they send does not wear X, Y, Z (don't label it as modest, be specific, since "modest" is subjective). That way you are describing a work requirement, not insulting an individual.


Why do people keep saying that OP is the employer? It sounds like this is a cleaning lady, not a full-time housekeeper. So OP is not the employer.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 11:00     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:judge not lest ye be judged


This has nothing to do with "being judged." This is someone coming into OP's home and modeling something that they do not believe in while being paid by OP. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is not an excuse for us to just accept anything and everything. Do a little more research on what that means.


OP is judging her as immodest...with the implication that it is a sin. You must have flunked out of Sunday school.

Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 11:00     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
On one hand, you are the employer, so it seems like your employee should abide by your comfort zone (as long as it is legal). BUT, what if you wanted her to wear a veil in your home, that would be going too far in my opinion.

How about your hire a cleaning person through an agency (which usually protects them and you more anyway, in terms of benefits/being bonded, etc). When you first put in the request, explain that due to your cultural/religious beliefs/customs, you would appreciate it if the person they send does not wear X, Y, Z (don't label it as modest, be specific, since "modest" is subjective). That way you are describing a work requirement, not insulting an individual.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:59     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:Rude. I think you need to clean your own house. I am so thankful to have people help me during a pandemic that anything they want to wear as they scrub my toilets is ok with me.

Religion is all about imposing rules onto others, especially women. Screw that!


Agree on all counts with the poster above. Absolutely true re: religion. It's often about imposing the will of one group over another under the guise of piety.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:55     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Who are you worried about seeing her body? Young boys? Your husband?

Just use this as a teachable moment. You can't keep them from such scenes at Walmart.

This is like people who homeschool, so their children are "shielded" from the real world...but then how will those kids learn to navigate it when they go to college or join a workplace.

Help them interpret what they are seeing around them, because if you try to control what the whole rest of the world, you are going to lose that battle.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:53     Subject: Re:How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Clean your own house. Problem solved.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:45     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:We have a very (religiously) conservative home and modesty is important to us in our religion. I have a cleaning lady rec'd to me and she is great, but she regularly wears low cut, see through, or otherwise super tight/ revealing clothes. Is there a way that I can ask her to maybe not wear these clothes in our house? It's important to me to not come across as rude or disrespectful. How can I do this?


OMG, unclench.

You aren't St. Peter's Basilica.

The best you can do here is 1) live your values and pay the legal wage; and 2) make a gift of a sweater.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:38     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:You are the employer and as such may prescribe reasonable wear.


She really isn't. Most housecleaners, unless you've hired them full- or nearly full-time, work for a cleaning service or are running their own business. OP is a customer, not an employer.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:26     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Maybe you should teach yourself and the members of your household that...life is not something you can always control. Maybe you and your family need to learn that other people out in the world will dress how they want, and your job is to turn your attention and shift your focus elsewhere if their bodies or clothes are sooooooooooooooooooo provocative and offensive.

Get over yourself.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:25     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:I'm really not trying to body shame. For example, I don't care if someone is wearing a two piece bikini at the pool. But its a little weird for someone to wear something you would wear to the club while cleaning a house. I'm not talking about her wearing yoga pants and sleeveless tops, I'm talking about leather pants and such.


How are leather pants more revealing than yoga pants?
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:25     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
The pandemic will be over and no one will be home to see her most of the time soon. Why offend someone and lose a housekeeper at a time when it’s hard to get help (many people don’t want to go into houses now)? Just soldier on like you have with everything else during this awful time.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:23     Subject: Re:How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OF course you can ask, OP. Most of DCUM completely ignores their cleaning lady and has no interaction other than leaving out a check on the counter. So they can’t understand why it would matter to you what she looks like or wears.
If it’s important to you that she is comfortable around you and your family and vice versa, then of course you can mention that you prefer people dress modestly in your home.


You can mention it, just be prepared for her to tell you that she prefers to dress the way she does. And/or feel offended that you told her she was not modest.


Pp here. I agree with this.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2021 10:22     Subject: How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?
You are the employer and as such may prescribe reasonable wear.