Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:06     Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.


It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.


AKA OP has trash taste and her DH was trying to give her at least a thin veneer of class, which she rejected. He’ll find it elsewhere.


There is nothing classy about living beyond your means. Which is what he is doing in purchasing a gift that he can not afford.


That isn’t exactly what the initial post said.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:05     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.


Returning a gift like this is incredibly tacky and ungracious.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:03     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be so unhappy.


I would be thrilled!


I would be too, haha! But, I guess not if it brings financial stress.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:03     Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.


It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.


AKA OP has trash taste and her DH was trying to give her at least a thin veneer of class, which she rejected. He’ll find it elsewhere.


There is nothing classy about living beyond your means. Which is what he is doing in purchasing a gift that he can not afford.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:00     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
What is going on on this thread?? It’s not just the gift, its that it is a poor financial choice that will impact necessary spending. It’s never a nice gift for one spouse to jeopardize their family’s financial stability.

My husband would be furious if I spent $5,000 on surprise diamond cuff links for him when we have important bills to pay. Thanks god I have a spouse that values financial stability and saving, I guess.

If you have a ton of extra money to spend then go for it, shower your spouse in diamonds they didn’t ask for, but make sure you can afford to do this!
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:00     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
It is her money too, and he just wasted a ton of it.

The worst part is that she told him she did not want this present.

Were the earrings supposed to impress others?

I would return them and get the ring you want or save the credit for future jewelry for your children’s wedding or graduation.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 00:00     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH here. You (OP) are super annoying and I hope he divorces you for a younger woman who isn’t such a shrew.

So he got you a gift that isn’t your favorite and wouldn’t have been your choice. So what. Whether it’s his own male pride or his mom liked diamonds or he got duped by a commercial, so what. It’s an expression of love. And you’re being an ugly, ungrateful, disloyal wife by having such an attitude.

I have NEVER gotten angry or upset about the failings of a GIFT. And many of them have sucked. I’m sure you’ve given and done tons of things that your DH didn’t want or need, barely wanted or needed, or in fact affirmatively did not want and did not need. So the F what. If you love someone you smile and move on. God you suck so bad.


It’s not the “failings of a gift.” It’s her husband’s failure to hear her and respect her wishes and needs and instead bulldoze over her to do what he wants. If you don’t see that, then you are the one that sucks so bad, not OP.


A wife’s “wishes and needs” are not the only thing that exists. Men have both of those things as well. This is why you DCUM harpies end up divorced so often. Maybe DH’s wishes and needs included reaching a benchmark where he could put his DW in diamond earrings. Is that bad? Think about that as your cruise to yoga in your RangeRover or whatever your version is.


If DH's need to "put his DW in diamond earrings" means DC can't go to preschool or now they can't afford that home renovation they planned, that is irresponsible.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:59     Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.


It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.


AKA OP has trash taste and her DH was trying to give her at least a thin veneer of class, which she rejected. He’ll find it elsewhere.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:56     Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.


It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.


So op is just going to keep wearing her fakes and put the real ones in the safe deposit box? That’s really weird.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:55     Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Op admitted she has fake diamond studs, not crazy that her husband thought she would like real ones and was just protesting it of cheapness, I personally think it’s incredibly romantic that he went back to the N.Y. jeweler to get them.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:54     Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:I would also be mad, but I am cheap and practical. He spent $5,000 in jointly owned funds on something she specifically said she didn't want and that cannot be returned. Since they can't be returned, I guess your only option is to sell them (likely at a loss), regift them, have them made into another piece of jewelry that you like better, or wear them occasionally.


It's just a waste. The gift is not all about the giver. She was clear this is something she wasn't interested in and he bought something for himself. Toss 'em in the safe deposit box and forget about them for the next 20 years. Maybe a daughter will have different taste and they can be a college graduation present.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:53     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH here. You (OP) are super annoying and I hope he divorces you for a younger woman who isn’t such a shrew.

So he got you a gift that isn’t your favorite and wouldn’t have been your choice. So what. Whether it’s his own male pride or his mom liked diamonds or he got duped by a commercial, so what. It’s an expression of love. And you’re being an ugly, ungrateful, disloyal wife by having such an attitude.

I have NEVER gotten angry or upset about the failings of a GIFT. And many of them have sucked. I’m sure you’ve given and done tons of things that your DH didn’t want or need, barely wanted or needed, or in fact affirmatively did not want and did not need. So the F what. If you love someone you smile and move on. God you suck so bad.


It’s not the “failings of a gift.” It’s her husband’s failure to hear her and respect her wishes and needs and instead bulldoze over her to do what he wants. If you don’t see that, then you are the one that sucks so bad, not OP.


A wife’s “wishes and needs” are not the only thing that exists. Men have both of those things as well. This is why you DCUM harpies end up divorced so often. Maybe DH’s wishes and needs included reaching a benchmark where he could put his DW in diamond earrings. Is that bad? Think about that as your cruise to yoga in your RangeRover or whatever your version is.

I mean, yeah it’s kinda bad because it’s about his needs/wants then. Shoulda gifted it to himself in that scenario.


Ok sure there’s an element of self interest. But I see a bazillion FB posts and hear just as many stories about the “great” and “thoughtful” presents that DWs get for their DHs. It’s frankly incessant and annoying. There’s no self interest there? And I’ll tell ya: none of those require working for or saving $5k.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:48     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH here. You (OP) are super annoying and I hope he divorces you for a younger woman who isn’t such a shrew.

So he got you a gift that isn’t your favorite and wouldn’t have been your choice. So what. Whether it’s his own male pride or his mom liked diamonds or he got duped by a commercial, so what. It’s an expression of love. And you’re being an ugly, ungrateful, disloyal wife by having such an attitude.

I have NEVER gotten angry or upset about the failings of a GIFT. And many of them have sucked. I’m sure you’ve given and done tons of things that your DH didn’t want or need, barely wanted or needed, or in fact affirmatively did not want and did not need. So the F what. If you love someone you smile and move on. God you suck so bad.


It’s not the “failings of a gift.” It’s her husband’s failure to hear her and respect her wishes and needs and instead bulldoze over her to do what he wants. If you don’t see that, then you are the one that sucks so bad, not OP.


A wife’s “wishes and needs” are not the only thing that exists. Men have both of those things as well. This is why you DCUM harpies end up divorced so often. Maybe DH’s wishes and needs included reaching a benchmark where he could put his DW in diamond earrings. Is that bad? Think about that as your cruise to yoga in your RangeRover or whatever your version is.

I mean, yeah it’s kinda bad because it’s about his needs/wants then. Shoulda gifted it to himself in that scenario.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:46     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH here. You (OP) are super annoying and I hope he divorces you for a younger woman who isn’t such a shrew.

So he got you a gift that isn’t your favorite and wouldn’t have been your choice. So what. Whether it’s his own male pride or his mom liked diamonds or he got duped by a commercial, so what. It’s an expression of love. And you’re being an ugly, ungrateful, disloyal wife by having such an attitude.

I have NEVER gotten angry or upset about the failings of a GIFT. And many of them have sucked. I’m sure you’ve given and done tons of things that your DH didn’t want or need, barely wanted or needed, or in fact affirmatively did not want and did not need. So the F what. If you love someone you smile and move on. God you suck so bad.


It’s not the “failings of a gift.” It’s her husband’s failure to hear her and respect her wishes and needs and instead bulldoze over her to do what he wants. If you don’t see that, then you are the one that sucks so bad, not OP.


A wife’s “wishes and needs” are not the only thing that exists. Men have both of those things as well. This is why you DCUM harpies end up divorced so often. Maybe DH’s wishes and needs included reaching a benchmark where he could put his DW in diamond earrings. Is that bad? Think about that as your cruise to yoga in your RangeRover or whatever your version is.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:42     Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH here. You (OP) are super annoying and I hope he divorces you for a younger woman who isn’t such a shrew.

So he got you a gift that isn’t your favorite and wouldn’t have been your choice. So what. Whether it’s his own male pride or his mom liked diamonds or he got duped by a commercial, so what. It’s an expression of love. And you’re being an ugly, ungrateful, disloyal wife by having such an attitude.

I have NEVER gotten angry or upset about the failings of a GIFT. And many of them have sucked. I’m sure you’ve given and done tons of things that your DH didn’t want or need, barely wanted or needed, or in fact affirmatively did not want and did not need. So the F what. If you love someone you smile and move on. God you suck so bad.


It’s not the “failings of a gift.” It’s her husband’s failure to hear her and respect her wishes and needs and instead bulldoze over her to do what he wants. If you don’t see that, then you are the one that sucks so bad, not OP.


Receiving a gift is not ordering off a menu, unless you’re a hooker or have an onlyfans account.


Exsctly, op sounds like a control freak who can’t let her husband have free will. op doesn’t have to like the present, but she also doesn’t have to punish her husband for trying to do something nice. It just isn’t going to work out well in the long run.