When my DH was 40 he was making a GS-13 salary. I made less.
Stop acting like a spoiled rhymes with witch, OP.

Everyone is flaming you, but I can see where you are coming from, at least to a degree.

My husband got pushed out of Biglaw and the best he could find at about $125k. Yes, it was a decent salary and yes I made more, but it really made a big difference in our overall financial picture, particularly our ability to save for big things like college and retirement and the ability to have relatively modest luxuries.

He's since been able to switch jobs and is making around $225, which makes things a lot more comfortable.

If your husband would or should have the ability to make more (and that isn't clear from your post), particularly if it wouldn't require worse hours/lifestyle, then I could see you having some concerns. If $125 is simply what he can make in his industry or given his experience, then I wouldn't be too concerned and just accept it for what it is.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the OP is a troll, but I think they were raised by a narcissist or with narcissists in a family and never learnt how to form their own opinions.
OP, next time someone makes a remark about your husband, push back harder.
Your husband sounds like a good guy, and you should learn how to have your own opinions on things.

OP has many of the hallmarks of a talented troll:

- Infuriating but seemingly plausible story
- Completely oblivious “BUT HOW SHOULD I FEELZ??” attitude
- Doesn’t return to defend herself and her ridiculousness

Learn how to spot trolls in your neighborhood, everybody!

I don’t think the OP is a troll, but I think they were raised by a narcissist or with narcissists in a family and never learnt how to form their own opinions.
OP, next time someone makes a remark about your husband, push back harder.
Your husband sounds like a good guy, and you should learn how to have your own opinions on things.

Anonymous wrote:I make more, but spouse does lion's share of cooking and also is very hands-on with our kids while everyone is remote and while I'm working.

Would this salary unnerve you? Would you try to re-calibrate to allow spouse to make more? I am second-guessing everything based on a comment my cousin said during a cousins zoom about how much it costs to save for college, retirement, etc. We are very open in my family about salaries, life, anything, and I said how much he made and she said, "Well, I'm sure he can look for a higher-paying job after the pandemic."

It was not a mean thing, she didn't intend it that way, she was being supportive but realised how it came out and walked it back. But now I'm left with her words in my ears wondering if he's in some kind of low-paying job (he has an MBA but works on the business end of an engineering firm).

If you had a spouse who made this much (and was very family-focused) would the numbers unnerve you? We live in a HCOL suburb, etc, with two kids who will go to college in 10 yrs. Maybe this is a money forum question but it feels more family-focused as I am now feeling nervous about DH/my choices...which have sometimes cropped up but to hear someone verbalise it made it hit home if that makes sense.

You are about to flip turn upside down your whole life that is working perfectly fine for you, your spouse and your family because you talked too much and your cousin judged your husband's salary?

God I am 44 and just started making 100k. I should be ashamed of myself I guess.

Anonymous wrote:This post makes me really sad. Is your husband satisfied and fulfilled by his job? Does that matter to you? It sounds like he's pulling most of the household and child care weight, which has a significant value. Maybe your salary is the problem - if you're able to do so much work uninterrupted while he takes care of everything, maybe you should go out and find a better paying job.

$125k is a great salary. I make a little more and my husband makes around $90k range and we both have master's degrees. People send their kids to college making a lot less.

Master's degree here, 14 yrs experience and make 104k. That is actually very high for my field and I love what I do. The fact that someone is unnerved by that is ludicrous.

Anonymous wrote:It makes me sad that people who are as stupid as OP make too much money for their own good, LOL

And seems to have a decent husband.

Anonymous wrote:divorce and get yourself one of those big law husbands DCUM loves to brag about so much.

and they work 80 hours a week so you never have to see them!

Anonymous wrote:If a man was posting this about his wife, he would be absolutely roasted

What do you think is happening here? Grab a S’more.

Anonymous wrote:Troll score: 9/10- look at how much of a reaction you got!

Excellent work!

Troll score 9/10 is about right. not a real issue someone is bored

I would be ecstatic if my husband made 125k.

But I no longer have a husband. So I just have to survive on the 75k I make

Anonymous wrote:If you had a spouse who made this much (and was very family-focused) would the numbers unnerve you? We live in a HCOL suburb, etc, with two kids who will go to college in 10 yrs. Maybe this is a money forum question but it feels more family-focused as I am now feeling nervous about DH/my choices...which have sometimes cropped up but to hear someone verbalise it made it hit home if that makes sense.

If you are both working and you make at least as much as him, it’s at least a 250K household. Assuming you are happy, it makes more sense to me that you would look for ways to make your 250K combined income work for you (consider your investments, a pre-paid plan for state college, if you had real estate or investment properties, that you live below means etc.) than to risk rocking the boat and having to maintain two households on the same amount if this leads to someone being unhappy in the marriage. I can tell you if my DH came home and said he was talking to his cousin and realized my six figure salary is too low despite it being double what I made when we started out and asked for me to look for a higher paying job, that would not go over well.

OP: I'm 25 years into teaching (so, age 47) and i make 75K. And I own my own home. I got a special low interest mortgage rate since I was steadily employed in a union job but still on the "lower income" scale of things (5K more and I would not have qualified.) And I had a child on my own. And I am financially stable; good retirement savings. I got a masters at night while working, for which my school district paid 75% and i got an immediate nice raise for the rest of my teaching career because of it. That raise paid back my loan in no time.

Plan plan plan. I bought a very small house when i was 25, borrowed money from my dad (and paid him back with interest) so I could fix up the basement really nicely and rent it out. That rent pretty much covered my mortgage. So does a summer nanny job (2 kids) at 25/hour cash (and in time I could bring my baby/ kid along too so no babysitting fees). Plan plan plan. Before I was a mom at 41 I always worked 2 jobs. I always took a 2-vacation to Europe and another week at the beach. I was young and could do everything and never get tired. Now the house is paid off and that housemate money is fun /college/emergency money. At 50 I might be too tired to "do it all" ; I don't know. My kid gives me a lot of energy. She's 6 and everything she does makes me laugh.

Just plan: Live within your means. Get a second job that gives you benefits, like working 2 evenings a week at a gym but you get a free gym membership. The opportunities to make more money are endless. Obviously this applies to your husband, too.

Sounds like your spouse is the perfect package. Good dad, high enough salary, his only downfall may be his spouse being open to these troll remarks from her family.