Anonymous wrote:tell or don't tell... It may not matter that much because many people with think they will be able to change your mind about having kids in the future...

In my situation I told my wife about my "V" early in the relationship (1st month around 2nd-sh date) she said "that's fine because I don't want kids either"
We got married and a year into the marriage she started pressuring for kids. Started picking fights about having kids. Its a monthly fight that starts just before ovulation and calms down then starts again the next moth. Her mom is involved and also putting pressure.
I've told her that I was very clear about the deal before marriage and she simply doesn't care. Tells me she changed her mind and only agreed to marry me because she thought she could change my mind. We have visited fertility doctors and they said its very expensive to do a reversal and 25% chance of success. I don't agree to spend that amount of money for those odds. So now she is talking about sperm banks...

Your best be it to find a woman that is willing to make the same commitment you've made. Otherwise she is likely to change her mind because a clear agreement doesn't mean anything...

Anonymous wrote:Wait, why would you not want to tell? If you’ve had a vasectomy, surely you’re looking for a woman who DOES NOT want kids, right? Any woman who doesn’t want kids would be THRILLED by this news.

It should come up before you have sex, when you’re discussing birth control and STD testing. No need to mention on the first date, obviously, although again, I can’t see it being anything but a boon for your prospects.

(Unless of course you’re hoping to date women regardless of whether or not they want kids, in which case, you’re kind of a scumbag for contemplating deceit by silence.)

Anonymous wrote:Are you the divorced dad with two kids and a vasectomy OP?

Say you don't want more children. Not all vasectomies take permanently, so if you really don't want to have any more kids you will need to use protection any how.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only should you disclose this before getting serious, but I think you have a moral obligation.

I wish my ex had gotten one. He never wanted kids, but also never did anything to prevent having them. I was on the pill when I got pregnant. He is the shittiest father in the world.

Why did you have kids with someone who didn't want kids?

Duh...she got pregnant. It was unplanned. Why people think all kids are planned is beyond me. 50% of pregnancies are still unplanned. NP here. I had kids with my ex who I never wanted kids with. Both shocking accidents. It happens. Your question is stupid.

Anonymous wrote:When I've told women I've dated that I have a V, they absolutely loved to know that and praised me for it. I don't know why you would keep that a secret with any potential sex partner. I'll gladly tell anyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Dude, just stop.

Are you the 45 year old dad who wants to date a younger woman with no kids? If you need to lie about the vasectomy, you’re a huge creep.

You need a break from dating. Focus on getting a modicum of morals.

+10000

OMG, it's totally him.

This guy is really fiending for a woman, going crazy during quarantine.

OP, lay off the sexual fantasies and focus on your kids for now. Just calm down.

Both of you are nuts. Stop with your shitty accusations until OP confirms things.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It cements in her mind that it’s a permanent choice she needs to sign up for vs “as of today neither of us want kids.”

Put another way... why would you keep it a secret, other than that you think she might not actually be okay with “forever door closed no chance” and want to avoid her weighing that appropriately?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not impossible. Several ways to still have kids. My husband had one prior to me. We have kids.

Okay... so why keep it a secret?

Because you can have a lot of fun with it as I have. Most women do NOT require condoms for sex when dating. Shocker, I know but they hate them even more than men. You would also be surprised at the amount of women who will tell you it's OK, she can't get pregnant right now or, please don't pull out. I've had two try to tell me they were pregnant or thought they were pregnant to see what I would do.

You need to raise the bar and keep it in your pants. Trying finding one decent woman and go from there. At your current rate you're destined for a horrible STD or worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not impossible. Several ways to still have kids. My husband had one prior to me. We have kids.

Okay... so why keep it a secret?

Because you can have a lot of fun with it as I have. Most women do NOT require condoms for sex when dating. Shocker, I know but they hate them even more than men. You would also be surprised at the amount of women who will tell you it's OK, she can't get pregnant right now or, please don't pull out. I've had two try to tell me they were pregnant or thought they were pregnant to see what I would do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not impossible. Several ways to still have kids. My husband had one prior to me. We have kids.

Okay... so why keep it a secret?

Anonymous wrote:

I have reservations about sharing my private medical information.

You can't even be honest and upfront. No relationship for you, not with this frame of mind