Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think children should be responsible for the emotions for adults” Really? The teacher is communicating to her students in words that children understand. Children need to understand that their actions have consequences. Newsflash, OP, people’s actions do have consequences and do affect how how others feel. You are a piece of work. Please, please, please bring this example to your Principal and ask for a new teacher....

The feeling of another adult is not a consequence that should be meaningful to the child. I've taught my children early on to respond to things like that with "I'm not responsible for what you feel." And they aren't.

This is being blown out of proportion, in my opinion. Preschoolers and kindergarteners are taught to say “I feel _____ when you _____.” I think she is trying to model that. Kids also need to know how to identify feelings and that starts with modeling as well. Stating a feeling that you have doesn’t make another person responsible for it. Kids do need to learn that their actions affect others. This position is bizarre. Are you going to teach your kid to dismiss other people’s feelings because he/she isn’t responsible for them? This will backfire in social relationships.

All that said, I think the teacher would have been better off saying “I am concerned that ____.”But honestly, I would want my kid to consider how she makes others feel, children and adults. And I hope she will make amends when it’s appropriate.

I think you know perfectly well that this is not about feelings. It's about "you doing this makes me sad, do something else so I'm not feeling sad." It's manipulation, pure and simple.

Manipulation? Really?

Yes. Really.

You sound triggered. Not rational.

The comment that the teacher is "sad" about kids not listening is fine.

Your comment, parent, that children shouldn't be "responsible" for adults' emotions is wrong. Children should absolutely be made aware when their behavior has an impact on adults' emotions, whether that impact is positive or negative.
-- From the time my children were infants, I told them when their smiles, hugs, kind words, etc., made me happy, brightened my day, etc.
-- From the time my children were infants, I told them when their hits, bites, screams, etc. made me feel sad.
-- From the time my children were toddlers, I told them when their help cleaning up toys, their gentle touches with animals, etc. made me feel proud.
-- From the time my children were toddlers, I told them when their illnesses, injuries, lying, etc. made me feel worried.

I agree with you that controlling bathroom breaks is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:Sarcasm is not appropriate with that age of the child. I am a sixth grade teacher and only use it very infrequently, and not in that way, where a student might feel bad about themself. I would definitely bring it up. She should know that kids do not understand sarcasm.

My 5 yo understands sarcasm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think children should be responsible for the emotions for adults” Really? The teacher is communicating to her students in words that children understand. Children need to understand that their actions have consequences. Newsflash, OP, people’s actions do have consequences and do affect how how others feel. You are a piece of work. Please, please, please bring this example to your Principal and ask for a new teacher....

The feeling of another adult is not a consequence that should be meaningful to the child. I've taught my children early on to respond to things like that with "I'm not responsible for what you feel." And they aren't.

This is being blown out of proportion, in my opinion. Preschoolers and kindergarteners are taught to say “I feel _____ when you _____.” I think she is trying to model that. Kids also need to know how to identify feelings and that starts with modeling as well. Stating a feeling that you have doesn’t make another person responsible for it. Kids do need to learn that their actions affect others. This position is bizarre. Are you going to teach your kid to dismiss other people’s feelings because he/she isn’t responsible for them? This will backfire in social relationships.

All that said, I think the teacher would have been better off saying “I am concerned that ____.”But honestly, I would want my kid to consider how she makes others feel, children and adults. And I hope she will make amends when it’s appropriate.

I think you know perfectly well that this is not about feelings. It's about "you doing this makes me sad, do something else so I'm not feeling sad." It's manipulation, pure and simple.

Manipulation? Really?

Yes. Really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think children should be responsible for the emotions for adults” Really? The teacher is communicating to her students in words that children understand. Children need to understand that their actions have consequences. Newsflash, OP, people’s actions do have consequences and do affect how how others feel. You are a piece of work. Please, please, please bring this example to your Principal and ask for a new teacher....

The feeling of another adult is not a consequence that should be meaningful to the child. I've taught my children early on to respond to things like that with "I'm not responsible for what you feel." And they aren't.

This is being blown out of proportion, in my opinion. Preschoolers and kindergarteners are taught to say “I feel _____ when you _____.” I think she is trying to model that. Kids also need to know how to identify feelings and that starts with modeling as well. Stating a feeling that you have doesn’t make another person responsible for it. Kids do need to learn that their actions affect others. This position is bizarre. Are you going to teach your kid to dismiss other people’s feelings because he/she isn’t responsible for them? This will backfire in social relationships.

All that said, I think the teacher would have been better off saying “I am concerned that ____.”But honestly, I would want my kid to consider how she makes others feel, children and adults. And I hope she will make amends when it’s appropriate.

I think you know perfectly well that this is not about feelings. It's about "you doing this makes me sad, do something else so I'm not feeling sad." It's manipulation, pure and simple.

Manipulation? Really?

Sarcasm is not appropriate with that age of the child. I am a sixth grade teacher and only use it very infrequently, and not in that way, where a student might feel bad about themself. I would definitely bring it up. She should know that kids do not understand sarcasm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcastic comments - Let it go. You can’t police teachers’ personalities. It’s not hurting anyone.

“Sad” comments - That’s not sarcasm. That’s a legit technique to get kids to listen. Kids are people-pleasers and typically want to make their teachers happy.

Breaks - Override the teacher here. She shouldn’t be trying to control bathroom breaks during DL. Tell your DD to just go, no asking.

It is hurting children’s minds and teaching sarcasm. The teacher needs to find a different job.

What? Putting aside whether what the teacher said was appropriate, sarcasm is a part of our language and how we communicate on this time and place. Children's minds will be fine and their EQ will increase when they know about sarcasm, tone and context.

While a parent is teaching a young child to be kind, honest, and hard worker, a teacher is ruining the parent’s work. It’s about values.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcastic comments - Let it go. You can’t police teachers’ personalities. It’s not hurting anyone.

“Sad” comments - That’s not sarcasm. That’s a legit technique to get kids to listen. Kids are people-pleasers and typically want to make their teachers happy.

Breaks - Override the teacher here. She shouldn’t be trying to control bathroom breaks during DL. Tell your DD to just go, no asking.

It is hurting children’s minds and teaching sarcasm. The teacher needs to find a different job.

What? Putting aside whether what the teacher said was appropriate, sarcasm is a part of our language and how we communicate on this time and place. Children's minds will be fine and their EQ will increase when they know about sarcasm, tone and context.

It's disrespectful language!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sarcastic comments - Let it go. You can’t police teachers’ personalities. It’s not hurting anyone.

“Sad” comments - That’s not sarcasm. That’s a legit technique to get kids to listen. Kids are people-pleasers and typically want to make their teachers happy.

Breaks - Override the teacher here. She shouldn’t be trying to control bathroom breaks during DL. Tell your DD to just go, no asking.

It is hurting children’s minds and teaching sarcasm. The teacher needs to find a different job.

What? Putting aside whether what the teacher said was appropriate, sarcasm is a part of our language and how we communicate on this time and place. Children's minds will be fine and their EQ will increase when they know about sarcasm, tone and context.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think children should be responsible for the emotions for adults” Really? The teacher is communicating to her students in words that children understand. Children need to understand that their actions have consequences. Newsflash, OP, people’s actions do have consequences and do affect how how others feel. You are a piece of work. Please, please, please bring this example to your Principal and ask for a new teacher....

The feeling of another adult is not a consequence that should be meaningful to the child. I've taught my children early on to respond to things like that with "I'm not responsible for what you feel." And they aren't.

This is being blown out of proportion, in my opinion. Preschoolers and kindergarteners are taught to say “I feel _____ when you _____.” I think she is trying to model that. Kids also need to know how to identify feelings and that starts with modeling as well. Stating a feeling that you have doesn’t make another person responsible for it. Kids do need to learn that their actions affect others. This position is bizarre. Are you going to teach your kid to dismiss other people’s feelings because he/she isn’t responsible for them? This will backfire in social relationships.

All that said, I think the teacher would have been better off saying “I am concerned that ____.”But honestly, I would want my kid to consider how she makes others feel, children and adults. And I hope she will make amends when it’s appropriate.

I think you know perfectly well that this is not about feelings. It's about "you doing this makes me sad, do something else so I'm not feeling sad." It's manipulation, pure and simple.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in middle and high, so older. Our position is that our kids can turn off the video. The teacher is a guest in your home. They don't have a right to be there.

You are doing your children no favours.

Anonymous wrote:It's totally fine OP. It is a tool to redirect the behavior without scolding the child. Stop micromanaging the teacher. I truly want you to find another outlet for yourself so you can occupy your mind with something productive or enjoyable. This level of overthinking is not healthy.

No it's not okay.

The teacher is a human, and she makes mistakes. OP shouldn't be too hard on teacher.

But using sarcasm to correct a 5 year old is definitely not ok.

OP - I agree that the “sad” comments and the sarcasm feel manipulative and aren’t the greatest way to deal with kids. That said - does your daughter care or is it impacting her? There is so much we are aware of this year as parents that we never would have known or heard about if kids were in person.

Your kid should go to the bathroom if she needs to, but she should also “try” on her break and not squander her time goofing off and then need to get water or use the bathroom during class. Even then she should wait until the instructions are finished and go when during “work time”.

I would probably not switch teachers.

Anonymous wrote:Sarcastic comments - Let it go. You can’t police teachers’ personalities. It’s not hurting anyone.

“Sad” comments - That’s not sarcasm. That’s a legit technique to get kids to listen. Kids are people-pleasers and typically want to make their teachers happy.

Breaks - Override the teacher here. She shouldn’t be trying to control bathroom breaks during DL. Tell your DD to just go, no asking.

It is hurting children’s minds and teaching sarcasm. The teacher needs to find a different job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can not monitor their kids while in class. Most parents are working.

Apparently not the OP. She's listening to her kid's class.

OMG! NP here. I don't listen to my K kid's class the whole time everyday but I am aware of the general topics and the language that is being used. It's not all or nothing, you know.